


Hold On To The Memories, They Will Hold On To You

by outislanders



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-23
Updated: 2019-06-23
Packaged: 2019-07-16 03:38:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 65,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16077581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/outislanders/pseuds/outislanders
Summary: Following a fight between Lena and Supergirl, Kara ends up telling Lena the inevitable. Lena eventually finds a box that Kara has kept hidden, full of their memories and momentos to their friendship.





	1. The Fall

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I'm pretty new to this so let me know if you like it or not! Also come say hi on twitter, I'm @outislanders
> 
> Big thank you to Alena and the anon in her cc for the inspiration.

_“We don’t have a friendship, Supergirl.”_

               Kara froze, avoiding eye contact with Lena, ducking her head even though she knew the other woman could immediately see how red her face was. She tried to keep a stoic appearance and instead appeared on the verge of tears, trying to remain strong, as she was breaking apart inside. Lena was intuitive, smart, and effortlessly beautiful. Kara’s mouth opened as her eyes fluttered quickly as she attempted to speak. She was screaming that she was Kara Danvers, Lena Luthor’s best friend, the person she knew and loved, and yet, no words came to the surface, leaving the words Lena had just uttered mingling like dust in the stale air. All she wanted to do in that moment was tell her the truth. How can she have any relationship with Lena if Lena hated Supergirl?

               The dimly lit lab of the DEO didn't help either nor did the way the machinery whirled and spluttered, and yet both women were grateful for the irritating noise that broke through the agonizing silence between them. They both hated the darkness that encased the DEO and longed for the bright, open air, the need to breathe suffocating them both. Lena would never admit it, but this had hurt her just as much, she trusted Supergirl and befriended her when every part of Lena told her not to and it ended the exact way she had been warned. A quiet beeping from a computer brought Kara out of her stupor, as Lena barely flinched tending to the sound. 

               _Supergirl_ she thought. Supergirl was a part of Kara, and Kara a part of Supergirl. Nothing could separate them, it was as if Lena had, unbeknownst to her, said she didn't have a relationship with Kara. She had tried once before to tear herself away from Kara Danvers and focus on being Supergirl, the hero to National City, only to realise that the Kryptonian heroine, Kara Zor-El, was a stranger without Kara Danvers. Two people who were nothing when they weren't intertwined as one. In a way that's how she would have described her friendship with Lena, but enough of that, she thought, in this moment she was Supergirl to her, not Kara. 

               To have Lena’s fierce emerald eyes staring straight through her hurt even more, even with Lena not knowing Supergirl’s name, Kara felt Lena could see every part of her, not just the small scar on her forehead, or the way her nose crinkled when she was upset. Lena could she the way this broke Supergirl but couldn't quite place the reasons behind it, they had never been particularly close, friends of course, but never the same relationship with her other friends.

               Lena’s eyes narrowed “You went behind my back, Supergirl. If you wanted to know something, you could’ve asked me.”

               Kara looked towards Lena, “You know I was just-”  


               “What? Looking out for yourself? What happened to National City’s darling?” the venom Lena spewed had hit it’s intended target.  


               Kara sighed, and glared at Lena, clenching her jaw, “You don’t have to be like that. I’m so sorry, Lena.”  


               “Don’t be. I’m not. What’s trust if it’s not mutual, right?” Lena said, raising an eyebrow.  


               “I want us to trust each other, I want us to be friends.” Kara said, gesturing to the both of them, her smile faltering slightly.  


               “Because everything is about you, again. Look, I’m just here to make sure my friend is okay and will remain okay, and that’s it.” Lena saw the look on Supergirl’s face, and chose to continue, “You were the one who broke that trust, Supergirl, not me. I refuse to follow through with a friendship when someone else has broken the trust that I had given.”  


               Lena had turned her back to Supergirl, eager to get back to work to make sure that the cure they had given Sam was permanent, it seemed as if it was, but Lena needed to be sure, if not for Sam and Ruby's sake, then her own, she couldn't stand to lose her friend. If Kara didn't know any better, she could have sworn Lena brushed her nose as if to stop herself from crying.

               “I better go...” Supergirl trailed off, mumbling into the distance. Lena turned, giving Kara a tight lipped smiled as she nodded her head, making no effort to look properly in her direction. Kara couldn't bear to stay where she wasn't wanted, she knew Lena had everything under control, she trusted her, and so she went home.

               Kara had stepped onto the balcony of the DEO taking in the sounds of traffic, the laughs shared between friends, something she so desperately craved, the smell of car fumes and the damp on the ground as it had just rained. It was a dark day outside, and Kara was grateful that the weather had felt the same way as she did, making her feel a little less alone. 

\---

               Kara and Lena were going to visit Ruby that night, she was staying in Alex’s apartment, whilst Sam had worked late. Kara had gotten into the elevator. She was still reeling from the argument with Lena as Supergirl but that was Supergirl’s mess and not Kara’s. Kara had to be Kara, she needed to.  


               “Hold the door please!” a voice called out. It wasn’t just any voice, it was that voice, _her_ voice. The enchanting quality finding its way to Kara's ears as if someone had switched on her favourite song. Kara instinctively put her hand in the way of the elevator door to stop it from closing, slightly pushing the lightly scratched metal to the other side. Lena rushed in, giving a knowing, slightly surprised, look to Kara as she pulled her in for a hug. Kara held on a little longer than Lena did, the familiarity of vanilla pulling her back into the present. As she let go they both smiled at each other, the kind of smile that exuded positivity and thankfulness to see one another.

               “I haven't seen you in ages, and I've been missing you for weeks!” she explained.

               “Well you know, it's been pretty busy.” Kara quickly replied, still smiling.

               “Your boss must be working you senseless.” Lena quipped.

               “Yeah, something like that.” Kara laughed.

               “I hear you've been helping Supergirl” Kara gently said, eager to break the silence and awful tension that hung in the air, which only she appeared to be aware of. They had spent hours in complete silence before, whether watching a movie, or working across the room from each other as one wrote and the other filed paperwork. So why was this different? It was a difference only Kara could sense, although she was sure that Lena knew something was missing too.

               “Yeah...” Lena trailed off. “Things haven't been so great; did you know she wanted James to break into my personal vault and see if I was lying to her about kryptonite?” She sighed, “He didn’t do it of course, we’ve been in a relationship for months and we love each other, no friendship would get in the way of that, hero or not.” Kara winced slightly at Lena’s candour.

               Lena continued, allowing herself to speak openly to Kara, in the way she always had. “She acts as if I’m the one she can’t trust when I can't even trust her... You know it's strange, I had adored her, admired her even, she treats me like an equal despite the history between our families and I was so grateful.” Kara slowly nodded, taking every word in, with her eyes focused on the dimly lit button of the floor they were heading to. “It’s just with this creation of kryptonite, she's all of a sudden taken such a negative approach to me.” Kara felt each of Lena’s words echo through her, each one stabbing her more and more.

               “Um- I... It’s stupid, Kara. I’m sorry.” Lena said letting out a slow sigh. “She’s your friend it's not fair on you.” 

               “Nothing you could ever say would be stupid.” Kara said, a sympathetic smile finding its way to her face. “Besides,” Kara said raising an eyebrow, smirking, “I find her slightly irritating too.”

               “It’s difficult, I get it” Lena shrugged slightly. 

               “Well considering it’s the only substance that can kill her, I'm not surprised she's upset. Just don’t take it to heart, I suppose she’s a little taken aback, nothing major.” 

               Lena tilted her head away from Kara, glaring at her slightly, a faint disbelief in her eyes. “There’s so many things that can kill or hurt people like us, though... Stepping outside is practically a death warrant, but I guess you’re right.” she slowly replied, with a look of confusion and a brief appearance of anger that disappeared as quickly as it had arrived there. Lena didn’t dwell on it, Kara was friends with Supergirl after all and as she justified to herself, wasn't in a working relationship with her so it didn't matter.

 

               The elevator bell dinged.

 

               They both got out on the same floor, eager to see Ruby. Once Sam had returned to normal and Reign was defeated, she was desperate to get back to work and of course see Ruby, so Alex would babysit on Mondays and Wednesdays when Sam would work late. Lena had insisted to Sam that she was more than happy for Sam to take time for herself but she, disagreed, citing the need to be useful, which Lena could see as Sam's eyes sparkled in a way she hadn't seen in a long while. She was grateful to have her friend back. 

               As they walked in silence toward the end of the corridor Kara paused. “I uh- I forgot something in the car, go ahead, I’ll meet you inside” Kara quickly ducked her head towards the floor the feeling of realisation hitting every bone in her body. Lena told her it was fine as she was sure Kara hadn't even drove, but she didn't question it; everyone needs time to step outside for a moment, she justified. That was one of the things that Kara adored about Lena, if she realised Kara or anyone else needed space, Lena wouldn’t interfere.

               Stepping outside Kara knew she made a mistake in not telling Lena her real identity, it wasn't just because Kara needed to protect her, it was because she didn't want any feelings getting in the way of their friendship, one built on trust, respect and complete love for one another. She had concluded that Lena needed to know, no matter what was going to happen next, Kara had to tell Lena the truth. God, she thought, Lena will be crushed, just as Lillian had warned her, this was an act of betrayal, and she knew it.

               Kara couldn't face going back up to that apartment, continuing the pretence of normality, and sent an apologetic text to Alex, knowing she would have every excuse in her arsenal as to why her sister had to go home. As she hailed a faded yellow taxi, she climbed inside, giving her address to the driver. Her mind wandering to all the possibilities, the consequences, even the resolving of her telling the truth. The faint smell of tired leather and nicotine hung in the air as she focused on the orange hue of the passing streetlights, enhanced by the droplets of rain that clung to the windows from earlier in the day. It helped Kara to listen to certain sounds when she was feeling overwhelmed, whether that was the noise of the engine, the whir of a fan miles away, it didn't matter, it was something Kara could focus on when she felt overwhelmed and that's what she did.

\---

               The next day Alex had visited, concerned to the way Kara had acted the night before. It wasn't the sister she knew to be practically outside the door before she bailed. Alex didn't get much comfort from Lena either when she explained Kara wouldn't be there, as Lena had told her Kara had forgotten something in the car, or perhaps something had come up at work, Lena justifying the vacant spot on the sofa down to the excess of news coverage for CatCo, but even she saw it as odd. Kara was desperate to talk to someone who would understand, and she opened the door to her sisters deep reddish-brown hair as Alex's face dropped as she saw Kara’s face. Something was wrong - _very_ wrong.

               “You had me worried yesterday.” Alex stated, searching Kara for answers, her face motionless until a slight crinkle appeared on her nose. “Kara, come on, talk to me.”

               “I need to tell her,” Kara muttered barely audible, “I need to tell Lena the truth.” she said in a monotone voice.

               “What happened? Why the sudden change?” Alex questioned.

               Kara had run through the entire situation with Lena, from her faults with kryptonite, to Lena’s harsh words about Supergirl.

               “Wow.” Alex said her eyebrows raised as she nodded her head, “Kara… Lena would never do anything to hurt Supergirl, you know that.”

               ”Of course, I know that, Alex. She just surprised me.” Kara sighed.

               “The second you met her, you saw something in her, something about her, and you have constantly defended her despite everyone else’s perceptions,” Alex continued, “she’s a good person, Kara.”

               “I know… I’ve ruined it all, haven’t I?” Kara asked, desperate for the reassurance from her big sister.

               “Not at all. She’s your friend, nothing can break that, I’m sure.” Alex gently reassured her, putting an arm around her sister. Even if Alex believed what she had told Kara or not, she didn’t want to make the current situation any worse.

               Alex had often given Kara a get out clause when it came to revealing her identity, perhaps say this instead or try to justify that situation with this. But this was something even Alex couldn't explain away, she could see the way this hurt Kara to her core, no amount of comfort from her big sister could remedy the pain. Alex had ordered pizza and potstickers. As they waited for the food to arrive, they sat in silence as Kara was wrapped in a blue knitted blanket with her head against the arm of the dark grey sofa, changing to stare at the ceiling or close her eyes a little too long, she could be mistaken for being asleep. Alex could see the tears in Kara’s eyes as they reflected when they were opened but she knew better than to make Kara talk about it. About _her_. 

               As the knocks at the worn white painted metal door echoed the apartment, Alex eagerly jumped to her feet paying the young man delivering the food.

               “Kara, foods here!” she called in an excited voice which Kara knew was only because Alex felt sorry for her.

               Kara rose slowly from the sofa, sighing. Alex looked towards her younger sister, dropping her shoulders, “come on Kara, please eat something. I ordered your favourites, and there’s ice-cream in the freezer!”

               The two sisters ate together with Alex desperate to ask more questions but remained silent. Kara had also let Alex eat the majority of the potstickers, another indication to the way Kara had felt. The rest of the night was spent is silence, with Alex watching a movie, and leaving ice-cream in front of Kara, inevitably melting, something Kara would never normally allow to happen.

\---

               A few days followed, and neither women had contacted the other. Kara had spent those days in a constant state of agony, she was going to tell Lena the truth, she needed to put everything aside and tell her. She knew as Supergirl that it may not be the best decision. But as Kara, her best friend needed the truth now more than ever, and she had to be the one to tell her. Lena, completely unaware of Kara’s pain, spent most of her time the way she always had, working; often seeing the familiar red and blue blur of Supergirl passing her office window. She was determined not to allow herself to try and contact her, and she didn’t want Kara having to get in the middle of their fight. Lena had felt somewhat hurt that Kara would so easily defend Supergirl when she thought she was on her side the entire time, but she brushed it off as nothing but a conflict of who’s right and who was wrong, she refused to allow herself to become petty regarding the situation. This was nothing that could damage their friendship, so it wasn’t worth worrying over.

\---

               Kara dug through her brown worn satchel, fighting through loose pens, and notepads to find her phone to text Lena. This was it.

               “Hey Lena, are you busy?”

               _“Not at all, I was just thinking about you, can I come over?”_

__

               Oh god, Kara thought, her stomach becoming a knot of butterflies, she took a breath, “Sure, I’m home all day.”

               _“I’ll stop by after work!” Lena replied swiftly, with her trademark red heart._

\---

               Kara went to the front door, to answer the light knocking. This was the moment Kara dreaded. It was a little before sunset when Lena had stopped by Kara’s, it was one of their favourite times of the day, and Lena’s favourite time to visit Kara. She had adored the way the tones of orange mixed with the pink of dusk, and the remnants of the day’s yellows. They would always create a different sunset each afternoon and illuminated Kara’s apartment in the most beautiful colours. 

               “Lena!” Kara exclaimed, as she opened the door, “It’s so great to see you.”

               “You too.” Lena smiled back. She could smell the burnt cake in the air that had filled Kara’s apartment and Lena knew she would often bake when there was something on her mind, but Lena couldn’t quite figure it out.

               Kara took Lena’s coat from her and hung it up onto the hanger. “I brought cupcakes!” Lena said excitedly, “I really am glad to see you.” Lena was silently grateful she had brought her own food too.

               Kara smiled, beaming, “and you. Let’s sit down, I was wanting to talk to you about something really quickly. “Nothing about this conversation would be simple, but Kara didn’t want to make Lena worry.

               Kara wasn’t the type to traverse a conversation, so Lena didn’t know why Kara had took her time in talking, when normally they had been so upfront with each other. Kara made tea for them both, camomile, which immediately put Lena on edge. Kara very rarely made or even drank tea, and especially camomile something was wrong.

               “I’ll be right back.” Kara said, swiftly changing int Supergirl’s suit, and leaving her glasses on.

               “What?” Lena asked, puzzled, letting out a breath she didn’t realise she was holding, “Did you get this from a costume store? Halloween isn’t for a few months…”

               “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about, Lena.”

               “Halloween?”

               Kara frowned, looking at Lena, “Not Halloween, something important.”

               “I’m Supergirl” Kara muttered.

               “I can see that.” Lena said, a playful smile forming on her lips.

               Kara had swiftly changed into her regular clothes of pink pastel sweater and light jeans. She sat down opposite Lena, exhaling slowly. 

               Kara sighed, “Lena I am Supergirl” she said clearly. “I’m not just Kara Danvers, I’m Supergirl.” She said, taking off her glasses “everything that’s ever happened, every time I saved you, every time I- Supergirl, chose you. That was me. I had to protect you and keep you safe. You know that, right?” 

               Lena’s eyes began wildly searching the room, remembering the time Supergirl refused to let her die, as Lena insisted on the saving of the chemicals instead of herself. It made perfect sense, and yet the knowledge and confirmation were shocking.

               “Lena,” Kara started, “I was twelve when I-“

               “Stop. I should have realised” Lena quietly replied, “You lied to me.” She muttered, her eyes welling with tears.

               “I did it to protect you, whenever anything had happened with you, I always wanted to protect you.” No, Kara thought to herself, “I needed to.”

               “No, the way Superg- you would lo-” Lena stopped herself, resting her head on her hands as she looked at Kara, breathing slowly.

               “It’s not your fault. You couldn’t have known… I’m still Kara” she stated, unsure of whether she was defending herself or not, Kara wouldn’t hurt Lena, so was she really Kara despite everything that had happened?

               “Lena please let me explain.” Kara had planned it all, what she would say to her and how she would ease Lena into her family’s history and all about Krypton. Kara had covered every eventuality in her mind.

               “I have to go.” Lena said flatly. 

               “Please don’t go, please listen to me.” Kara begged.

               “You’ve had two years. You know everything about me and yet- you know what Kara? Forget it. I’m leaving.” Lena spat.

               Days of planning, days of agony, had all come to a head and nothing had gone the way Kara had wished, and this time, she didn’t know how to fix it. Lena had felt completely and utterly betrayed. How could someone lie to her for so long?

\---

               Lena had spent the time drinking alone in her apartment, with only the sure signs of daylight and darkness allowing her to know that time had passed. The glistening silver light of the moon passing her window became the only company she had. Lena had found a slight comfort in this, feeling her world abruptly stopping. She was oddly grateful for the only company that would pass her window for three hours of the night, allowing her to know that the world continued around her and yet she felt uneasy in the knowledge that the world could so easily continue, and it seemed to be only hers that stopped turning. She had switched between whiskey and vodka, abandoning her preference for cocktails and wine, as she desperately tried to clear and settle the thoughts running through her mind. There were a few days when Lena drank through the night only to wake with a headache to the absence of sunlight again. She didn't care for her phone, keeping it switched off as she had blocked Kara's number. Sam was looking after L-Corp perfectly, running it the same way Lena had, or that's what she told herself anyway. Some days both Alex and Sam would knock on her door, desperate to get a conversation from Lena, with the latter oblivious to the real reason her best friends were fighting. 

 

               Not once did she even acknowledge the presence of another human, or even her own existence, until she looked into the mirror. God that mirror. Lena looked at herself, examining the dark circles that had worn themselves below her eyes, and the messiness of her dark hair that she had always been so eager to change daily, and keep in a perfect state. She had often taken a lot of pride in her appearance, completely for herself. As she balled her hands into fists to stop from smashing the mirror, she sighed. She had become a hollow shell of Lena Luthor and could barely recognise the successful woman standing in front of her. Lena was angry at herself for allowing Supergirl into her heart, her life, to only be betrayed and that’s what hurt the most. The betrayal. The betrayal from Kara, her best friend, and the hero she had so ever-lovingly admired.

\---

               Kara had stayed in her apartment, she didn’t go back to CatCo, explaining her absence to James as an illness. Kara didn’t get ill, and no one knew how to help. She didn’t fly around National City, she just stopped. The apartment became like a cage to Kara, and she was so desperate to leave but could barely bring herself to do anything. She craved the days she would sit with Lena on the white leather sofa, in Lena’s large and bright, open office. The times they would talk about their families, their day, or even divulge into unhealthy snacks like donuts together. Kara needed Lena much more than she expected. Alex had come around a few days with the same begging to be let in and had called and texted, which all went unnoticed and or ignored.

               Alex had made another attempt to text Kara. _“Kara, please answer me. You do realise I know you’re at home?”_

               Kara sighed, typing her reply, “What do you want, Alex?”

               _“Open the door.”_

               Kara unlocked the door, starting to speak, “What do you expect me to-” Kara had been cut off by Alex mid-sentence, to a surprise hug from her big sister. She didn’t realise how much she truly needed it, and hung onto Alex in the doorway, crying softly into her shoulder. 

\---

               Lena had awoken one morning to the determination to get back to the person she knew. She had showered, ate a healthy breakfast of avocados on toast, and did her makeup the way she always had. She had decided to leave her hair down, which was often unusual when she went to work. As she was getting ready to go to L-Corp, she was looking for her light beige trench coat, with black buttons that she had left at Kara’s one evening. She decided she would try and get it back, knowing it would’ve likely ended up in Kara’s wardrobe.

               Lena had called Alex to let her know that she needed to collect her stuff. Lena liked Alex, she didn't want an argument with Kara or Supergirl, should she say, to get in the way of another friendship. Alex explained she would be at the apartment at around lunch time, the two women making sure to choose a time and day when Kara would be at work.

               Lena walked up to the red brick apartment block, with its huge windows encasing loft like homes. She didn't know what to do, she had lost her best friend. Another person to add to the ever-growing list she thought had ended. Despite her feelings Lena most importantly came to collect her things and with a matter of fact like ferociousness she quickly walked into the elevator pausing and feeling that exact same betrayal she had felt weeks ago. She inhaled a shaky breath and pressed the button to Kara's floor. 

               Alex stood going to answer the knocking at the door. “Hi, Lena.” She said, going in for a hug, Alex held onto her shoulders slightly, looking into the other woman’s eyes, “How are you, really?”

               “I’m okay.” Lena replied, convincing neither of them. 

               Alex smiled, making Lena feel a little more at ease. “So, come on in, would you like a drink?”

               Lena laughed a bit, “I’ve had enough of them for a while.”

               “Well, more for me,” Alex giggled, “just go right ahead, I’ll be out here if you need me.”  


Alex sat herself down onto the sofa, a beer in hand, as she changed the TV channels, hoping to find something interesting. She looked to her phone as it began ringing, begrudgingly answering it.

               _“Hey Alex.” Kara said._

               “Uh- hi Kara how's work?” Alex asked.

               _“It's fine I think I'm going to come home for lunch though. Or can I stop by yours? I could bring something back on my way home.” Kara said._

               ”Okay, um, Lena’s here” Alex said without missing a beat.

               _“At your place?” Kara asked, continuing, “You don’t need to be so quiet about it, she’s your friend too,” she sighed, “it’s fine, really. Is she doing okay?”_

               “No, we're at yours. She said she needed something, she's just going through some boxes of thi-” Alex was cut off by Kara.

               _“Which boxes? Where, Alex?” Kara sounded desperate for an answer from Alex._

               “Calm down, Kara, just in the wardrobe.”

               _“I'm on my way.” Kara replied quickly, hanging up the phone._

               Lena sifted through endless sweaters, some knitted, others made of wool, all in a pastel tone that she had come to associate with Kara. It was the smell of the wardrobe that Lena wanted to lose herself in, no matter how she felt about Kara, she couldn't stop needing her, wanting her. She felt as though she needed to talk it through with someone and the only person who she wanted to talk to was Kara.

               Lena continued sorting through Kara’s belongings, feeling rather intrusive, but curious all the same. For someone like Kara, she was incredibly organised. Lena had placed it down to Kara organising Cat’s appointments, and yet, nothing was labelled. The boxes had seemingly morphed into one, each becoming a blur of the former. Lena’s eyes softened as she saw childhood photos of both Alex and Kara, from the times they would visit the beach near their home in Midvale, that Kara lovingly talked about so often. Lena remembered how Kara had promised to show her, her home town. The coffee shops and bakeries, and endless boutique stores surrounded by cobbled paths and red-bricked buildings. Lena loved hearing stories of Kara's childhood, the way she could transport a person to a new place in the way she would describe it, with so much love and admiration for a town she grew up in. The familiar dark metal glasses bringing out the blue in Kara’s eyes even more. That's enough, Lena thought, remembering that Kara didn't even need glasses, it was just another lie she had conjured up.

               “How's it going?” Alex called, not wanting to intrude. Kara had told Alex what had happened, and Alex wasn't the type to overstep any boundaries that may or may not be fictional.

               “Fine.” Lena replied shortly, she didn’t want to be there, in _her_ apartment, and made no secret of it. She didn’t want to be short with Alex, but didn’t want to be there, she was looking for her own jacket in the mess that was Kara’s closet and that was that. 

               A box had caught Lena’s attention, made of light cardboard, adorned with a neat blue and green striped ribbon. Lena opened the box, it looked like a bunch of old newspaper clippings and random pieces of junk that she wasn’t interested in. She assumed it was articles that interested or inspired Kara, she was the type of person to hold onto something like that. 

               Until something caught her eye. 

               A ticket to the theatre that Kara had surprised her with. Kara had somehow found out it was Lena’s birthday, likely from Sam, but there was no need to dwell, she was secretly happy someone wanted to celebrate with her. Lena didn't want to hurt Kara by saying she didn't like musicals, and Kara had picked one of her personal favourites - Grease. When she met Kara outside, it dawned on Lena why she had insisted she wear black, a colour she knew Lena loved already, and she felt slightly out of place, seeing the other theatre goers dressed up as the characters. Kara had brought a light pink jacket for Lena to wear, adorned with ‘Pink Ladies’ in a cursive black font. Lena begrudgingly gave in to Kara as she wore it for her, and to make herself stand out a little less. The pink jacket falling effortlessly on Lena’s shoulders, puffed and bright, but mostly, pink. Kara had also brought a pink neck scarf for Lena and looked at Lena with a playful beguiling smile that she loved, as she watched Kara tie a small knot, finishing her pink-lady wardrobe. It was a tradition whenever Kara had gone to see Grease, that she would dress as one of the characters. Usually Alex had been dragged along and would often be Rizzo, whilst Kara was Sandy. Not to destroy tradition, Lena had dressed as one of the Pink Ladies, with Kara adorned with voluminous curls, and bright red lipstick, popping against the figure-hugging black off the shoulder shirt, and gleaming leggings. They had sat near the front row, and were both excited, even Lena. Lena watched, a huge smile encompassing her face, as Kara sang along to every song. Both women couldn't tear their eyes away, although Kara had her eyes fixated on the stage, Lena watched Kara, barely glancing at the stage. She even promised Kara to join her for the next musical she saw. The jacket still hung in Lena’s wardrobe, the only pink item of clothing she ‘owned’.

               The receipt from Noonan's, a café, that Kara had recommended to Lena when she had wanted to see the blonde woman. Lena had walked in, expecting Kara to be late, but she had gotten there early eagerly waiting for Lena. It was Lena’s insistence to see Kara, and yet Kara had practically tackled her to pay. Although it was only two coffees, the sentiment of having someone wanting to do that for her made Lena incredibly happy. She wasn’t particularly used to friendships, and every loving action from Kara made her beyond joyful. She knew Kara didn’t realise how nice the actions that had become so natural to her were, but Lena did and that’s what mattered. 

               There was also the ticket to the cinema when they had gone to see Working Girl. The local movie theatre had a month of streaming older movies, from Gone with the Wind to Titanic. Kara had wept at the end of a film she had seen thousands of times, and yet each time got her that little bit more; with the main character finally achieving everything she had wanted and worked for, from assistant to executive, a motion Kara easily related to, as she had been Cat Grant’s assistant. After they had finished the movie Kara asked to keep a hold of the tickets, Lena remembered her saying she was entering some sort of competition or survey for free tickets, but here they lay in the box. Of course, she thought, you can keep the tickets. Kara had loved to buy multiple tickets for raffles even when she wouldn't win. Kara would never have admitted it, but she loved competitions whether she won or not, it, was that small possibility of what could be that drew her in, and Lena refused to question one of the things that made her happy.

               Lena couldn't help but smile when she saw a photo of them in Kara’s apartment. Kara had been gifted a new recipe book from Eliza and was desperate to try making coq au vin. Lena however, was not, knowing the extent, or lack thereof of Kara’s cooking skills. This was one of the reasons Kara constantly insisted on takeout or going to restaurants. she would always claim the food was better when someone else made it, and as Lena experienced, was completely true when it came to Kara. After Kara had invited Lena into her apartment, and brought the dish to the table, she watched as Lena suppressed her gag reflex as she ate the cold food, that tasted nothing like it should have. Kara had asked her, with eyes full of childlike wonder and expectance, if Lena liked it and tried it herself. It didn’t end too well, both of them laughing at terrible food, and Lena feeling less cruel. Kara ordered pizza instead, and as they waited for their delivery, she had brought wine to the couch as they sat together, and Kara pulled out her worn light blue Polaroid camera and set it on the coffee table. She had asked Lena if she could take a photo of them both, which Lena reluctantly agreed to. Kara had the camera set to the timer and ended up taking five different photos. Each time Lena starting to talk to Kara, completely forgetting the photo as Kara spoke from the side of her mouth for Lena to look at the camera, with only one out of five of them finally looking into the camera. They tried again, for luck, Kara stated. This time Kara had interrupted, it was the day Kara had said something so funny they both snorted in complete unison, and Lena couldn’t even remember what she had found so funny, but the memory had stayed with her. That was one of the things she loved about Kara, the way she would mumble the weirdest collection of words, and yet, somehow, Lena had thought them too. It was odd, she thought, for Kara to keep the version of them mid laughter, Lena’s hand gently resting on Kara’s knee with Kara leaned toward Lena, a hand slightly covering her loud laugh. It was Lena’s favourite from that night, and she could tell it was Kara’s too. 

               There was also a brown leather-bound book with thick paper. Giving into her childlike curiosity, Lena opened the book. Inside were pressed flowers between the pages. Their colours slightly faded, and withered, and yet the beauty of each flower perfectly preserved. Kara had written the type of flower in her slightly messy cursive handwriting, from roses to tulips and back to carnations. With everything else inside this box, Lena couldn’t quite place the reasons behind this. The flowers had nothing to do with her, she thought, maybe they were misplaced? –

               The flowers Lena had left for Kara in her office, now it made sense.

\---

               Kara had paused in front of her apartment door, resting a hand on the handle, hearing two heartbeats inside.

               There was more, each one another memory with Kara. Lena couldn't quite understand why she would keep this, as her eyes roamed the rest of the box she was startled by the opening of the heavy front door, announcing someone's arrival.

               Kara’s arrival. 

\---

               “Lena?” Kara called out. Lena hated the way her name sounded as it left Kara’s mouth, overbearing and unnerving. 

               Lena gathered the things back into the box and walked out of Kara’s room into the living area, her hands clutching the cardboard box, her stomach a knot as she looked up to see Kara. Alex had calmly excused herself, and left the apartment, neither of them needed Alex to be there for whatever would happen between them.

               “Wait... Wha- what's all of this?” Lena burrowed her eyebrows into a confused state.

               Kara practically tackled Lena for the box, “It's nothing.”

               Lena took a calm step back, “It isn't nothing, Kara. Why have you got all of that stuff?”

               ”I uh- well you know you’re my friend and-” Kara blurted out hoping words would find themselves in the way she couldn't.

               “I don't understand why you would have all of this.”

               “I told you.”

               Lena tightened her grip onto the box. “No, you're doing it again. You're lying to me, Kara.”

               Kara could feel the tears filling her eyes, “I'm not lying” she protested.

               “Then tell me why you would even consider keeping all of this, the receipts, the tickets, the-” Lena stumbled. 

               ”Because I-…" Kara sharply inhaled, “it's because I-”

               ”Because you what, Kara?” Lena nudged, raising her eyebrows expectantly.

               “Well you know, like I said, you're my friend and I care about you, as you know. It’s just a box of junk Lena, that's all.”

               ”No, it isn't,” Lena sounded strangely calm, giving the circumstances, “I don't see mementos of Winn, Sam, J’onn, or even Alex in here? This is a box of our memories.”

               _Our memories_. Kara focused on those words as she thought, and how beautiful and poignant it sounded. It was theirs and theirs alone, nothing could take that away. Whatever was going to happen, Kara could hold onto this. She took a much-needed deep breath. 

               ”It is what it is.” Kara said, lightly shaking her head.

               ”That’s literally all you have to say? We haven’t spoken in weeks and all you say is some throwaway statement?” Lena threw the box to the floor, surprising both herself and Kara. Its contents filling the space between Kara and Lena, their past experiences bridging this newfound distance between them in a way the two women could no longer do. 

               Kara held Lena’s gaze and Lena inhaled sharply at the pain she had never seen on Kara’s face. Kara looked to the floor, she couldn’t stand the pity that found its way to the brunette women’s eyes. 

               Lena hated this part of herself. She had tried so hard to be someone people respected, who had promised herself she would not allow others to hurt her the way her family had. But something was different with Kara. Lena was different. Kara was unlike anyone else she had met before, but she was still a friend, so why did this hurt so much more than before? She had been betrayed before, lied to, kicked down, only to get back up again so much stronger than before. So, what was it about Kara that made her feel this way?

               Kara reached for Lena’s hand as she immediately, almost instinctively pulled it away from Kara. Lena held her hands up for a moment in a look of surrender, like prey with the hunter’s gun aimed right at her. That's how she felt. Trapped. Helpless. Her arms dropped to her side as her shoulders slumped in a look of defeat. Kara wanted so desperately to pull her into a hug there and then. To inhale the familiar vanilla scent of the woman who stood in front of her, the scent like a drug that Kara needed.

               ”I didn't want to hurt you, if you would allow me to explain and tell you everything. I keep asking this of you, Lena. Just give me a chance, please.” Kara quietly mumbled.

               ”You haven't hurt me, Kara.”

               Kara’s eyes met Lena’s with a puzzled look, maybe, just maybe, Lena hadn't taken it as bad as she expected. 

               ”You've broke me.” Lena said flatly, her voice cracking. Kara’s brow furrowed, she had never heard Lena say something so plainly, and so effortlessly _human_. A human reaction from someone she had seen as strong and tenacious, as the realisation that she had caused this version of Lena filled Kara's heart, she just stared at her, wordlessly. 

               ”I have to go.” Lena whispered, her face a knot of tears with years of betrayal making its way to the surface, despite her overwhelming need to overcome her past. This time, she couldn't hide from herself anymore.

               Lena looked into Kara’s eyes searching for the person she knew, as her eyebrows knitted together full of pain, with only the blue of regret in Kara’s eyes meeting her own as she chewed on her lip, making no secret of the wish to avoid looking into Lena’s. There was nothing left to say. Lena turned toward the door feeling utterly broken. Lena placed her hand on the door handle, and paused, opening the door slightly. She turned toward Kara, “I remember it all, every minute.”

               Kara had taken a step toward Lena, slower than she expected, with Lena already gone, and leaving Kara alone to think over what had just happened. 

               Luckily, Lena had told her driver to stay on the side of the street, she didn't expect to be long collecting her things. Little did she know. She stumbled falling straight into the sleek black car. Her breathing quickened as she ran a hand through her dark hair, placing a hand on her own chest, making sure that her own heart wouldn't break through. She made no mistake of the tears running down her face. Lena was lucky her driver had the partition up, although she was sure he could hear her loud sobs and was grateful he knew better than to question anything.

               Kara was too familiar with Lena’s heartbeat, often listening to its steady rhythm whenever a part of her felt unfocused, the sound was a way she could refocus and bring herself back. This sound was different, irregular, quick, and Kara immediately latched out to sobs she knew belonged to Lena. She walked to her door closing it softly and with her back against the metal door paused as she looked around the room feeling herself match Lena’s sobs and breathing accidentally. Kara wiped her eyes and saw the box. The contents of the spread around the floor as if it were nothing. This box was a constant in Kara’s life. it was the physical manifestation from the way in which she would find the music of Lena’s heartbeat in a crowd. The box served as a reminder of her love for Lena. They had only known each other for a little under two years. 22 months, 670 days, and almost 965,000 minutes. She saw the blue and green striped ribbon lying on the floor, chosen as a copy of both their eyes, the brightest colour of Lena’s face that stood out against her pale skin. She held onto the handle of the door as she felt herself slowly moving towards the floor, her knees tucked up to her chest, with her cries echoing the apartment. Kara had never felt so helpless. She was the hero. The one who could save anyone, her duty was to protect people, show them compassion and love, and she realised she lost all of that. Who would save the hero? She thought, who was Kara? How could she hurt the one person who meant so much to her in the world?

               She calmly stood, breathing slowly, debating to run outside to the woman she …

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would love this to be some type of large story and I have some very cute ideas. I'm really wanting to do an emotional Supergirl reveal (well conversation w Lena but whatever), hopefully in the next chapter (if you guys like it!)  
> Also I have no clue how to use code so this will probably be updated 383839 times whilst I learn, come say hi on twitter, I'm @outislanders


	2. Allowed Me To Believe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Surprise it's me!! Please bear with me, there's a certain someone you won't like but I promise we're working toward something... Super.

              She calmly stood, breathing slowly, debating to run outside to the woman she loved? Kara shook her head slightly, in a less than feeble attempt to clear her thoughts, her blonde ponytail swaying. Of course, she loved Lena, Kara resolved; she was Lena, and she _is_ her best friend, regardless of Lena’s stand on the matter. 

              Kara rushed outside and knew Lena’s home was only just over three miles away, two blocks down, take a right and keep going towards the taller skyscrapers and cleaner pavements. It would take Supergirl less than a few seconds to get there, Kara, fifteen minutes maximum. The thought of getting there quicker made Kara more uncomfortable than she already was. Kara couldn’t calm the uneasiness she felt. Lena had often made her feel the kind of welcoming vulnerability and happiness that a friend brought, and to feel uneasy about her began to sicken Kara. She wanted to be able to meet Lena at her home, to see her in the spacious, modern looking lobby and go to her penthouse to talk to her, about anything, but mostly about what went wrong, and how it could be fixed. She had imagined the conversation with Lena, her telling Kara that what she did was wrong, but it could be rebuilt. Nothing in Kara’s mind drifted to the possibility that Lena wouldn’t want to talk to her, she kept thinking if I say this or that, Lena will come back to me. _She had to_. 

              Kara looked up as she stepped outside of her burnt red brick building, smiling slightly, to the sunshine that engulfed the city, making the glass buildings shimmer like the reflection of water. Kara thought back to the day at the DEO when her fight with Lena had _really_ began, she took the optimistic weather as a sign that only good would happen, she would take any good sign she could find, even in the smallest moments. Kara would have usually loved to walk slowly amongst the sun, choosing the route that followed alongside the water with its winding paths lined with tall trees, and the warmth that she so often found comfort in. But she had somewhere to be, and better yet, someone to _be with_. 

              Whilst her mind did the calculations, her feet were already moving, keeping a fast but steady pace. Luckily, National City’s lunchtime traffic was much to be desired and the street outside Kara’s home was full of cars, their endless beeping blurring the thoughts in her head. 

              On foot, Kara arrives to the block that encases Lena’s apartment building. She had still been imagining a conversation between herself and Lena, until she stopped. Standing on the other side of the street she quickly notes the event unfolding in front of her. 

              James stood at the entrance of the tall glass building, opening the door of the black car that held Lena. She stood as he embraced her and said something even Kara hadn’t been able to hear. Seeing Lena go to James hurt Kara in a way she hadn’t been hurt before, her stomach becoming a knot of pain. A car beeped at Kara as she stood in the crossing, not even realising she had moved toward them both, as she closed her mouth, putting a hand up and a small smile in apology. 

              Kara turned around the corner and slowly walked back to her apartment, with her eyes focused on the floor as she walked, reminding herself, _one foot in front of the other, keep going_.

\---

              Lena unfurled herself from James’ embrace and kept her head down, avoiding his eyes, with her arms held tightly to her side, her hands beginning to ball into fists. Her eyes were slightly puffy, the worn bags under her eyes complimenting the red bloodshot veins that had quickly formed in the journey from Kara’s. She didn’t want him to know that she had been crying, and in a roundabout way, that he had been the perpetrator. Lena pushed past him slightly and rushed upstairs, oddly craving the loneliness she had often been so afraid of. The ability to just _be_ , no questions asked, the safest place for herself, she decided, where no one would or could expect anything of her. In a roundabout way, the same comfort she craved and found in loneliness, was the same feeling she found being around Kara. James, knitting his brows in confusion, followed Lena upstairs to her penthouse. He had seen the often confident and bold woman look as if she were about to close in on herself, and he surmised that she needed him.

\---

              Kara arrived at her apartment, fumbling with the keys as her hands began to shake slightly and her breathing quickened. 

               _Not now, please not now_. 

              Kara knew what would happen next, from the way her fingers had become numb. She dropped her keys, the sharp sound of the metal hitting the ground made Kara flinch. The numbness started threatening to engulf her entire body. Her heart hammered inside her chest, the sound growing until it became deafening and echoed throughout her skull. Goosebumps began to spread over Kara’s skin like wildfire. Every breath she took was shallower, and shorter than the rest, leading to desperate gasps for air, her mind racing to the day’s events; seeing Lena again, watching her walk out of the door _again_ , and not being quick enough to follow her. She slumped against the white door in the corridor, gripping at her chest as she felt an immense pressure weighing her down, her eyes saw nothing but darkness. 

              Kara didn’t know how much time had passed when she was met with Alex’s face full of concern for her younger sister. Kara’s eyes were glazed over and unfocused as she looked toward Alex. “Kara, hey, I’m here. It’s okay, listen to me; you’re okay.” Alex’s words were soothing and gentle, and Kara needed them now more than ever. 

              Kara looked into Alex’s eyes, her own, welling with tears. Kara’s breathing was still shallow, the pace of her heart beginning to calm. She nodded towards Alex as she took the keys from the floor where Kara had dropped them. Unlocking the door, Alex sat back down and stayed with Kara in the corridor until she was ready to move. It had been months since Kara had experienced a panic attack, and Alex had always known what to do in this situation. She knew to give Kara both time and space, but to stay right there with her, at her side.

\---

              James quickly makes it to her penthouse, opening the already unlocked door, and sees Lena pouring herself a glass of scotch, the dark amber liquid, close to spilling over the rim of the glass. “Lena…” He begins, “are you okay?” James winces slightly at the response form Lena, a calm laugh, devoid of any humour as she lifts the glass and takes a sip. 

              Lena takes a step toward James, a little too close for comfort, smelling the sharp and bitter smell of alcohol that already lingered on every breath she took. He placed a gentle hand on Lena’s cheek as he brushed away an untended tear. “Please Lena, talk to me.” 

              Lena slowly opened her eyes and stared into James’ sorrowful eyes, that shone like rich honey in the early afternoon sun. His eyes searched Lena’s, desperate for an answer to the question he repeatedly asked. Oddly, the calmness Lena had bestowed upon herself hadn’t quite met her eyes, and she looked as if she was one wrong word away from breaking, as if she wasn’t already broken. A few weeks ago, Lena would have found some comfort in James, and the way he would listen to her worries, and respond with small murmurs, which she often would see as caring. 

              She edged slightly closer, placing a gentle kiss on James’ lips and parted her own with a quiet “please James, I don’t want to talk.” 

              James took a slow breath, frowning as he placed a firm but gentle hand onto Lena’s shoulder and pushed her away slightly, “I- I have to get back to CatCo, Lena.” 

              As if stepping out of a stupor, Lena took a few steps back, as her hand searched for the glass she had placed onto the counter. “Of course,” she cleared her throat, “I have some paperwork to do.”

\---

              As Alex reached down for Kara, Kara had tightly held onto Alex’s hand as she helped her stand and slowly helped her into the comforting apartment. Apart from the home they both grew up in, Kara’s apartment was the closest thing she had to home. She had mostly left it the way Alex had, when she moved in. Leaving the same light wooden floors and white walls, with exposed brick, opting to change small portions of furniture and bring new ornaments too that Kara liked, allowing the space to stay the same in a sense, but belong to Kara all the same. Alex’s eyes widened as she noted the contents and its box strewn around the floor. She didn’t ask about it, instead, Alex had draped the knitted blue blanket over Kara, and quickly moved to put the kettle on. 

\---

              After hailing a taxi, James climbs inside, securing his seatbelt. He opens his phone to the call list, scrolling down to find ‘Sam’, pausing for a second, he clicks her name. 

               _“Hi James?” Sam sounded confused as to why James would contact her, especially during the day whilst she was at L-Corp._

              “Sam, I’m on my way to CatCo… Are you able to stop by and see Lena?” There was a faint hint of nervousness in his voice. 

               _“Is she okay?” Sam’s mind wandered to every bad possibility regarding Lena, stopping herself from hanging up the phone and running straight to her friend who needed her._

              “I don’t know.” 

               _Confused to his response, Sam decided it best not to press him for answers, “I can be there within an hour- I’ll go see her, is she at home?”_

              “Thank you, yes she’s at home.” 

               _“Okay, I better go and get a few things organised before I leave.” Sam had been planning which errands needed to be completed immediately, and which could be left until later, quickly organising herself to go to see Lena._

              “Thank you, Sam.” James exhaled slowly, wordlessly grateful for Sam’s help. 

               _“Bye, James.”_

\---

              Alex returned to Kara and handed her some camomile tea, in her favourite worn and lightly chipped mug. “So… What happened when I left?” Kara gave Alex a look that said, you don’t want to know, and in a way, Alex resolved it better that she didn’t. Kara would tell her if she needed to, and until then, Alex would be there for her, however she could. 

              “Kara, should I clean this up?” Alex asked softly, gesturing to the contents surrounding the entryway to the apartment. 

              “It’s fine, I’ll do it.” Kara replied meekly, clasping her mug tightly, and inhaling the warm, sweet scent of the tea. 

              “I really don’t mind, no questions asked.” Alex said in a bubbly tone, making a scout’s salute with her hand. 

              Kara giggled, smiling at Alex, “Well not that you were ever a scout, but yes, thank you.” 

              “Don’t thank me Kara, besides I’m only here for the free food.” Alex smirked. There was a certain comfort Kara had gotten from Alex, in the way one with an older sibling would. Although they would often have heart-to-hearts, when they didn’t, or when one had done wrong, the bond was still there. 

              After Alex had cleaned up the hall, she tied the bow around the box, and placed it at the top of Kara’s closet, on the shelf that sat above the rack of Kara’s sweaters, a mess of rainbow pastels, and different comforting materials. She had thought of asking Kara why its contents had been strewn everywhere, because it certainly wasn’t there when Alex left both Kara and Lena alone. She had resolved that they had likely had an argument, but in her mind, it wasn’t her place to ask questions. 

              “I think I’m going to have to go back to CatCo.” Kara said nodding, convincing herself that was the best decision. 

              “You don’t have to, you’re allowed to take time for yourself, Kara.” Alex had thought it unwise for Kara to go straight back to work, she had thought they could spend time together and hopefully talk. 

              “I know, I guess- maybe it will keep my mind off things, here I just can’t stop thinking about what happened.” 

              “I get that, but-” 

              “It’s fine really,” Kara stood, “stay, eat all the food you like.” She made a grand gesture to the apartment that made Alex smile. 

              “I mean I wasn’t going to ask but thanks for the permission.” 

              Kara leaned down to give Alex a hug before leaving, Alex called out “call me when you get there please, and I can walk by and walk home with you too!” 

              “Bye!” Kara swiftly left her apartment, allowing the door to close with an audible clang. She appreciated Alex’s sentiments more than she dared to tell her, and despite it, Alex knew.

\---

              Stepping out of the sleek golden elevator into CatCo, James quickly looked for Kara. He remembered that Kara had been at work earlier in the day, and swiftly walked towards her desk. Noting she wasn’t there, he immediately saw a glimpse of her rushing in with coffee and a flustered look as she darted for her desk. 

              “Miss Danvers, a word please?” Kara didn’t even glance in his direction. 

              James cleared his throat, and lowered his voice, “ _Kara_ , I need to speak to you.” 

              Kara looked up and took a second to register that James was talking to her, slightly surprised, “James! Mr-“, she tried to correct herself as she was amongst the other reporters at CatCo but seeing James gesture with a slight nod to the other side of the office, she stopped. 

              She followed him into his office, it didn’t have the same welcoming feel as it did when it belonged to Cat. It was more masculine, with Kara noticing that Cat’s ornaments seemed terribly out of place. “Is Lena okay? Have you seen-“ There was a desperation to her own voice that she wasn’t used to. 

              “There’s talk of Supergirl and Lena in the media.” James said in a toneless voice, being rather direct and to the point. 

              “What do you mean?” 

              “Jess called me, L-Corp is planning an announcement.” 

              “I don’t understand, Lena hasn’t said anything.” Kara thought of what Lena could possibly say. Realistically, with what had happened, Lena wouldn’t have told her anyway. Her eyes widened at the thought of Lena revealing her to the world. _She wouldn’t, would she?_ No, of course not, that’s not Lena, _is it?_ Kara cleared her throat, forcibly stopping herself from starting to think so low of Lena, that was what had ruined their friendship, given it was between Lena and Supergirl, it was all the same in the eyes of both women. 

              “Me either.” James’ brow furrowed as he looked to Kara, there was something more to what was going on, Kara was rarely confused with any situation that involved Lena, so to see his friend in such a way confused him even more. James stopped himself from asking a question about Mon-el, convincing himself this was why Kara was acting strangely. 

              “Why are you telling me this?” 

              “They need someone to do an interview, get some background information before Lena makes her announcement, and I thought you would know.” 

              Kara was desperate to see Lena, and a part of her knew Lena didn’t want to see her, and more than likely wouldn’t answer any of Kara’s calls or messages, and Kara couldn’t bring herself to be rejected at Lena’s door. Considering this, she decided that the excuse of an interview would work perfectly. “I’ll do it.” 

              “Brilliant, can you arrange it with Jess? She should know the details.” 

              “Of course.”

\---

              Sam had rounded the corner to Lena’s apartment building, taking a breath as she craned her neck, looking towards the penthouse, coffee and pastries in hand. She didn’t know what she was walking into, and yet she jumped anyway, her friend needed her, and that was all Sam needed to know. 

              Pressing the button labelled ‘PH’, Sam stood silently as the elevator worked its way to the top floor. She brought a tight fist up to the door, about to knock until she remembered Lena had given her a key she had only used a handful of times. Sam walked in and winced at the usually clean apartment with each meticulously placed object appearing wild and out of place. Glass covered the kitchen floor, with varying smells and colours of alcohol mingling around the kitchen. 

              Dodging the menacing shards of glass that scattered around the floor, Sam made her way to Lena who had placed herself at the edge of the bright white counter, perching on a barstool, that was certainly living up to its name. 

              “Sam- wh- what are you doing here?” Lena looked to the clock that hung in the kitchen, thinking she had lost the same sense of time she had a few weeks ago. 

              “James called me.” Sam replied, her hazel eyes, that could often be mistaken for light brown in darker light, seemed to demand an explanation from Lena, and yet, Sam couldn’t bring herself to ask. 

              Lena let out a breathless laugh, “Of course he did.” 

              “He’s worried about you. You’ve been together months, he has every right to be,” her eyes kept roaming the mess around the room, “and so am I, Lena, I haven’t heard from you in a while.” Sam chewed lightly on her bottom lip, “Why is there broken glass everywhere?” In a way Sam had already knew herself, and it was obvious Lena had been drinking, _a lot_. 

              “James will be back soon.” Lena scoffed, dodging Sam’s question. 

              “Enough of that. Go shower,” Sam looks around, “I’ll clean up!” she says with a determined spirit, brushing her hair behind her ears. 

              “I’ll do it.” Lena said with her gritty resolve. Lowering herself onto the floor, Lena reaches for a piece of glass, and drops it as it cuts her finger, hissing slightly. 

              Sam sighed “I’ve got it Lena, shower and take care of that.” 

              Lena nodded, knowing Sam was always right. 

              Lena walked into the bathroom, clicking the switch, closing her eyes slight at the bright lights harsh against the white tiles. She grabbed a towel, placing it onto the towel warmer, she unzipped her dress, and allowed it to pool around her ankles before stepping out of it. As Lena fiddled with the temperature dial, she set it to the highest heat setting, savouring the warmth that encased her. 

              In the time it had taken Lena to shower, Sam had meticulously managed to clear the glass from the floor and used the citrus scented cleaning supplies stored under the sink in the kitchen to rid the stench of alcohol. 

              Lena returned wrapped in a robe, draping her dress over a chair, she sat with her legs falling over the bottom of her bed. Sam walked in handing a glass of wine to Lena, whose eyes narrowed at the carefully measured half glass of red wine. “I figured you needed it.” Sam said, a questioning tone in her voice. Lena knew Sam wanted to know what was happening, but she didn’t want to tell her, _she couldn’t_. 

              “Thank you.” Lena said, watching Sam wander around to get a band-aid for Lena’s finger.

\---

               _“You’ve reached L-Corp, this is Jess speaking, how can I help?”_

              “Hi, it’s Kara Danvers from CatCo.” 

               _“Kara! Hi! How have you been?”_

              “Oh,” Kara was slightly surprised to the tone in Jess’ voice, but she loved it all the same. “I’m good thank you, how about you?” 

               _“Good to hear and I’m good too thank you. Miss Luthor isn’t here at the moment, but I can leave her a message if you like?”_

              Kara nodded on the other end of the phone, feeling slightly grateful that she didn’t have to face Lena just yet, she had expected Lena to go straight back to work, but silently hoped she was taking time for herself too. “That would be really great thanks, I’m hoping to interview her when she’s available.” 

               _“Of course, she should be available later in the week. I can email you the details, should I tell her who she’ll be meeting?”_

              “Uh- it’s- just tell her someone from CatCo, we haven’t decided on who to send just yet.” Kara was slightly grateful that Jess couldn’t see her, knowing she would immediately be able to tell Kara was lying. 

               _“Of course, Miss Danvers.”_ Kara found it slightly funny how Jess would change from calling her Kara to Miss Danvers in the same conversation, she liked Jess, and loved talking to her when she would go to visit Lena. 

              “Thank you so much, Jess.” 

               _“It’s no problem at all, bye!”_

              “Thanks again, bye.”

\---

              “Hey,” Sam whispered, reaching for a hairbrush from the nightstand, “come here.” 

              “What are you doing?” Lena asked edging away slightly. 

              Sam sighed, “Whenever Ruby is upset, I think there’s something about someone else brushing your hair that’s really soothing.” 

              “I’m not a child, Sam.” she replied bitterly. 

              Sam looked at Lena, her head tilted slightly, with her eyebrows raised. It was the type of look Lena would often receive a few years ago from Sam, the ask no questions, just trust me, kind of look, when they had first met at the former LuthorCorp. Lena sighed, giving in, and moving closer to Sam. 

              Sam sat behind Lena and ran the brush through her dark hair slowly. Lena exhaled, releasing a breath she hadn’t realised she had been holding, allowing Sam to know that she was right. 

              A few moments later, Sam gave in to her curiosity, “Do you want to talk about it?” 

              “I was wondering when you would ask.” 

              “Funny, I was wondering when you were going to tell me.” Sam replied with an eyebrow raised. 

              Lena slowly exhaled, bracing herself to tell Sam everything, “it’s Kara” she said, turning her head to look in Sam’s direction. Sam placed the hairbrush to the side and moved to sit next to Lena, her legs hanging over the bottom of the bed. 

              “What happened?” 

              “I- she’s-“ Lena stopped. She allowed her wild thoughts to gather, wondering how she would explain that when Supergirl and Reign were fighting, it was practically Kara and Sam. Lena decided Sam didn’t need to know just yet. Lena’s mind had attempted to write Kara off completely, but in her decision to hide this from Sam, she was acting in the same interest as Kara. 

              “It’s okay, we don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” 

              “No, it’s not that I don’t want to,” Lena surmised, Sam frowned as Lena continued, “I need to, I just don’t know how.” Lena pinched the bridge of her nose, inhaling sharply, a motion she would often do when she was stressed. Sam put her arm around Lena, bringing her a little closer. 

              “She lied to me and we fought.” Lena spat out, quicker than she could think to stop herself, surprising both herself and Sam ever so slightly. 

              Sam thought for a second, in a way it wasn’t as bad as she had expected and yet, knowing what Lena has gone through, she knew how damaging this could be. “What could Kara possible lie to you about? She’s _Kara_.” 

              Lena looked at Sam, “You’d be surprised,” swirling her glass of wine, “can we talk about something else?”, “How’s Ruby?” Lena started with her own question. 

              “She’s great,” Sam’s eyes always lit up when she talked about Ruby, a certain sparkle allowing Lena to know that they were finally happy, “she’s been so much better than I thought she would be, I’m really proud of her.” Lena didn’t want to worry Sam with her problems when she had enough to worry herself with as it was. 

              “Are you needing to pick her up soon?” Lena asked quietly. Sam noted a tone in Lena’s voice that was secretly asking her to stay a little longer than she planned, and not leave the darker haired woman alone. 

              “She’s going to a friend’s house this afternoon and has soccer practice beforehand. I’ll go collect her when James is back.” 

              They had spent the rest of the afternoon together, talking about anything and everything they could think of. Lena loved to hear stories about Ruby, mostly she loved how they were both finally content. She had remembered when she first met Ruby, a young child running around and making Sam laugh in ways she hadn’t seen for a long time. In a way it was the closest to happiness they had, and both Sam and Ruby truly deserved the happiness they had found.

\---

              Sam reaches for her phone, a subtle buzzing notifying her to a message, reading it, she sees that James is in the lobby, “James is here. I’m going to go, Lena. I’ll call you later?” 

              “Sure, tell Ruby I say hi!” Lena exclaimed, hugging Sam tightly, holding on a little longer than expected. She didn’t want to be left alone, no matter how much she had convinced herself earlier that it was in fact what she needed. 

              Stepping out of the elevator into the lobby, Sam sees James and rushes to talk to him, crossing the spacious lobby swiftly. 

              “How is she?” There was concern in James’ voice, slightly surprising Sam. In her mind, James could have stayed if he really wanted to, in the same way Sam had left L-Corp to go to see to her friend who needed her. 

              “She’s okay, just a little stressed- work I suppose,” Sam shrugged, she didn’t want to share the events of the past few hours with Lena, “trust me, she’ll talk when she’s ready.” Sam wasn’t overly sure if she was convincing herself or James at this point. 

              “Thank you.” 

              “Of course, anything for Lena.” Sam darted outside the building into the light of the setting sun, the sky was a purple haze, quickly becoming dark blue with each step she took.

\---

              James walked into Lena’s room, as his eyes adjusted to the darkness, the only source of light coming from the lamp on the nightstand. “I spoke to Sam,” he stood in front of Lena, towering over her, reaching for her hand, “you could have told me.” 

              Lena looks up, “My company doesn’t need me, I’ve lost my be-“ she stops herself, feeling more tears fighting their way to the surface of her steely visage she had worked for years to construct. She sighs, “Do you want to keep talking about my day or would you rather come to bed?” 

              Lena wakes up, finding herself wrapped tightly in James’ arms, but a nagging thought in her mind tells her this isn’t what she wants, _who_ she wants. It wasn’t the type of thought she welcomed. She turned over slightly, as James’ arms adjusted to her movement. Her eyes fluttered open slowly as she squinted at the clock in an attempt to focus at the glowing red numbers that indicate it’s just after midnight. She unfurls herself from James as quietly as she can, sitting on the edge of the bed, her head matching the spinning within the room. Lena stands as she reaches for the clothes that she left draped over the slim white leather chair after she had showered last night. She gets dressed, zipping the back of her dress and bumping into furniture as she walks around, stubbing her toes, and knocking her hips into the table, allowing her to know she’s still drunk. After eventually making her way to the kitchen, Lena located the notepad she kept next to the landline and tore a piece of paper away. She tried to steady her hand to write ‘gone to work – we need to talk’, realising her usual cursive writing was messy and difficult to read, but this time she didn’t stop herself to write it again. In her mind, what would follow would be messy, so her writing was the least of her problems. Lena carefully retraced her steps to her bedroom, this time avoiding the furniture, and placed the note on the nightstand next to James. She, as best she could manage, quietly slipped out the front door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was that okay? I really didn't like writing a certain someone and idk if it was obvious omg  
> Come say hi on twitter I'm @outislanders  
> We'll have quick updates I promise since uni are giving me essays and I need something to procrastinate with


	3. That Things Were Over

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Just wanted to say a quick thank you for reading, it really surprises me when people choose to read something I’ve written, and it wholeheartedly means the world. Even if you've decided you may not wish to follow along, thank you anyway. So, yeah, thank you and happy Supercorp Sunday to you all!!

              Lena stepped out of her building onto the pavement. The stone, cold and dark on her feet, as she wriggled her toes, realising she had left her shoes. She glanced back up at the tall glass building, ultimately deciding that shoes were of no importance to her, and she couldn’t bear to go back upstairs. Regardless, Lena realised she didn’t have a key, relying on the automatic locking of the door instead. A part of her was grateful there was no one at the door, or the reception at this time, allowing her to use that as an excuse as to why she was unable to go upstairs.

              Lena wandered around National City, barefoot and in one of her dark blue dresses, just as expensive as the other items of clothing that hung in her wardrobe. The night was cold, but the alcohol running through her system provided her with a temporary warmth she so very much desired, shivering ever so slightly as it began to wear off. The bright neon lights quietly hummed as she walked through a city, she called home, but no longer really felt like home to her anymore. She remembered a while ago Kara telling her what home was or is, or could be, it could be love between two people, home could even be a person, a place, a way of life, home to Kara had so many different aspects and it was whatever made you feel right and ultimately made you feel like you belonged.

              Walking through the streets at such a late hour had made Lena feel the need to be more alert than normal, turning her head around every few moments, and making sure to keep her wits about her.

              “Hey!” A figure in the darkness called out, the streetlights allowing her to see the shape in the night, the silhouette tall and likely male from the deep voice. Lena kept walking, her feet carrying her quicker to wherever she decided she wanted to go, but ultimately anywhere that didn’t involve standing still.

              “I’m _talking_ to you!” He continued, his footsteps growing louder in Lena’s wake, the eerie silence of the night broken with each step he took, melodically clicking against the pavement. She kept her hands tightly fisted, ready to fight if anything were to happen, _I can stand my ground_ , she reminded herself.

              “Slow down, Luthor!” His calling was firmer, his voice louder. There was a familiar tone to his voice, yet Lena couldn’t quite place the voice to a face, but the familiarity put her on edge. The man’s voice was angry and unnerved Lena even more, her heartbeat quickened, her palms sweaty and her feet a few steps behind a full-on run.

              She noticed a light shining on the corner of another block. Darting to escape the man, she stepped into an off-license, the fluorescent white lights shone, bright and artificial against the dark night. The floors were dirty, and the place was cold, as Lena headed towards the back of the shop finding herself in the alcohol aisle, choosing a cheap brand of scotch for her journey.

              Going to pay, the older man paused to look at her. His dark beard was peppered with grey flecks, and his hat was embroidered with a car brand Lena was unfamiliar with. After glancing at her feet, and back to her face, he opened his mouth to speak, pausing slightly, “you okay?”

              Lena managed a muffled laugh, “it’s been an odd night.”

              His eyes were kind, somewhat concerned for the woman who stood in front of him, “You’re not kidding,” after scanning the bottle, his attention wavering, “that’ll be fifteen dollars.”

              Lena’s hands instinctively went to the bag she believed hung at her side, immediately frowning as she searched for the pockets that weren’t there, “Sorry- just put that back if you don’t mind.”

              Thinking for a moment, he hands Lena the bottle, in a brown paper bag, “Here, kid. You look like you need it.” There was a hint of pity to his voice which Lena decided not to dwell on.

              Lena was temporarily stunned by the genuine kindness of a stranger. She accepted the bottle, thanking him, and headed back outside. She thought how she might actually look to someone who didn’t know her, surmising she looked rather messy and barely put together, which would likely be off-putting for a stranger. The man reminded her of Kara, the ability to give without expecting anything in return. Her mind constantly wandered and called to Kara, as if she had the ability to read Lena’s mind, and for a moment she wished she did; she would turn up and pick her up, and she would save her like she always did. But that was gone. Here she was, outside, cold, and alone.

              Lena had walked a lot longer than she expected, her feet becoming numb with the cold, and began to ache much more than they would when she would wear high heels. She walked to the stretch of water that overlooked the city, bright with signs of life, yet quiet and still, choosing to sit on a wooden bench that allowed her to have the greatest view of National City. She cracked the metal seal of the bottle top and took a few swings of her scotch, wincing at the burning sensation in her throat. She stayed, listening to the sound of the water gently hitting the short sea wall, to only say goodbye and hello again to each other in a matter of moments. The city lights rippled along the water, mingling with the silver of the moon as they seemed to travel closer to where she sat. It had been weeks since Lena allowed herself to just be, and even in the cold of the dark night, she felt comfortable with the stillness of the world. It was too early to be awake and much too late to not already be asleep. It was the time of night Lena had learned to favour, allowing a person to be completely alone, with the complete quiet of a city full of people buzzing for more. This time, the silence became deafening as she tried her best to collect the disconnected string of thoughts that travelled through her mind.

\---

              Kara woke to intermittent knocking at her door, devoid of any rhythm. Alex had left well before sunset, so the darkness outside allowed her to know that wasn’t who was at the door. Squinting at the clock, she saw it was almost three in the morning. She could’ve easily ignored it and pulled the quilt a little higher for her to drift back to sleep, but a small nagging in her mind forced her to answer the knocking in question. Reaching for her glasses from the nightstand, Kara rose from her bed, switching on the light by her bedside and padded across the light wooden floors, and slowly opened the front door. 

              “Lena?” Kara’s voice was tired and confused, even a weary Kryptonian wouldn’t be able to make sense of the world around her at this time, the sleep lingering in every breath she took, “LENA?!” Her eyes grew wide taking in the sight of the dark-haired woman in front of her.

              Lena stood, slouching slightly, choosing to abandon her usually perfect posture, with her feet covered in dirt and shaking from the cold. Her cheeks were bitten red, her legs were beginning to bruise, and her perfectly tamed hair appeared wild. “Kara, quiet, st- stop shouting” her finger motioned to her lips, missing the middle of her face completely, “it’s the middle of the night- wha- what are you doing here?” Lena’s words slurred as she tried to control each syllable, every attempt worse than the last.

              “I live h-,” Kara frowned at Lena, slowing her speech so that she would be able to understand her. “You’re at my apartment, Lena.”

              “Oh- huh-” Lena looked around, her eyes constantly fluttering, her eyelids heavy as she tried to fight off sleep and tried in vain to focus on the taller blonde woman who stood in front of her. “Are you going to take my coat, or?”

              Kara’s hands instinctively went to Lena’s shoulders, hovering awkwardly. Noting Lena’s confusion as she backed away, Kara pulled her arms away and held them tightly at her side. “You don’t have a coat-”

              “Oh”, Lena shifted her weight on both feet nervously, unsure of whether to turn around and run or speak, she chose the latter, “am I going to be invited in?”

              Kara was more confused than she dared to let on, “uh- of course,” stepping to the side of the doorframe, she watched Lena saunter slowly inside the apartment, wondering whether to ask questions of her less than expected late night visit.

              Lena unceremoniously sat herself on the sofa, whilst Kara rushed to get her a blanket, “Do you want something to drink? Water? Coffee?”

              “I’m tired, Kara.” Lena had meant the type of tired that fills your bones, the tired that doesn’t go away when you wake, but instead is like a weight wearing you down with every step you take. 

              “Do you want me to call you a taxi? Your driver! What’s his number? I can call him,” Kara took a deep breath before muttering the next few words, “or James?” Kara lay her favourite blue knitted blanket over Lena, who gave her a small smile of gratitude in return. Lena was unsure of whether Kara truly heard her, she was exhausted. Exhausted from fighting, exhausted from trying, just utterly exhausted.

              Lena shook her head, “It’ll take too long and it’s too early - or late – or whatever.” Her hand wafted the air in front of her, as if trying to dispel the thought of going home.

              “You walked all the way here, the drive isn’t long,” Kara sighed, unsure of whether Lena would accept the words she would utter next, “you can stay here?” she continued uninterrupted, “If you’re okay with that.”

              “Thank you.”

              Kara’s hand gestured to Lena’s dress, “I don’t think that’ll be comfortable for bed.” As Lena reached toward her back and began to unzip her dress in agreement, Kara held her hands up, her eyes wide, “Wait! Wait here, I’ll get you some clothes.”

              Rifling through her wardrobe Kara found an old sweater and a pair of shorts for Lena, opting to take out some purple fluffy socks too. She had thought to offer to clean Lena’s feet, and tend to her bruises, but Kara resolved she would attend to them in the morning - what Lena needed most was rest. Kara lay them on the bed, and ushered Lena into her room, “You can wear these, if you like of course.”

              Lena nodded in agreement as Kara moved around the apartment, grabbing towels and placing them on the bed next to the clothes. “I know you tend to wake up early, and by the looks of it you’ll have a terrible hangover,” Lena nodded again, “uh- so take whatever you like from the wardrobe in the morning too, there’s plenty of clothes to choose from.”

              “Thank you.” Moving to the bathroom to change, Lena took her time, as the room began to spin. Placing a hand on the bathroom wall to steady herself, her stomach groaned, the burning sensation of the alcohol she had drank threatened to retrace itself with a fiery trail.

              After successfully, and slowly getting dressed; Lena went to sit on the left edge of Kara’s bed, carefully planning her steps and making sure not to fall on the wooden floors that had become slippery with the socks. She held her arms out slightly, in an attempt to balance herself. Lena stumbled, jolting to a quick, comforting hand that found itself perfectly around the curve of her waist, with a slight draft following Kara’s wake. Lena locked her eyes with Kara who she realised looked as shocked as she likely did.

              “Sorry-” Kara withdrew her hand from Lena, making no effort to look at her properly, choosing to keep her eyes focused on the wall at the other side of the room.

              Lena lowered herself onto the bottom left side of Kara’s bed, “Um- I’ll just sit here for now.”

              Kara cleared her throat, “I’ll go get you something to drink.” She nodded curtly, more to herself than Lena.

              Lena’s gaze stayed with Kara, watching her rush into the kitchen, to return placing a glass of water on the nightstand nearest to her. Helping Lena stand, Kara pulled back the quilt of her bed and waited for Lena to climb in. “I would’ve been fine on the sofa,” Lena began to protest, as she sat and tucked her legs beneath the quilt.

              “It’s more comfortable here… I wouldn’t have been comfortable with you over there,” she looked at Lena, “besides, how else would we have realised how much those clothes suit you?” Kara smiled, a smile that lingered with sadness. Guilt. The last time she had seen Lena like this was when she had thought she had poisoned children, which Kara helped her realise she hadn’t – she believed in Lena when no one else would, and she fixed it. Here, Kara had caused the pain that troubled Lena, and the heroine was unsure of how to remedy it. She was the catalyst, not the hero.

              Lena managed a small laugh, a playful smile dancing on her lips, “What are you saying, Miss Danvers?”

              Kara giggled at Lena’s words, “I’m saying they suit you,” she took a short breath, smiling down at Lena, “I best be off; a tired Kara is an angry Kara.” turning around quickly, she was stopped by Lena’s voice, quietly travelling on the air around them.

              “Stay, please.”

              Confused at Lena’s sentiments, Kara began to stumble over her words, and talked to Lena in a matter-of-fact like manner, “Wh- I’ll be right over there, you can see me from here,” Lena’s pleading green eyes sparkled in the low light, tears forming, so Kara reassured her gently, “I’m not going anywhere, I promise.”

              “Don’t,” Lena yawned, “don’t make promises you can’t ke-” following another yawn Lena snuggled into Kara’s bed. Kara froze remembering the promise she made to Lena, to always protect her – how could she protect her from the one who had made the promise? She was unsure of whether Lena had known what she had likened her words to, and whether or not she meant for them to sting Kara the way they had.

              Kara let out a shaky breath, there was nothing she was able to do. All she could do for now was remain on the side-line and watch the aftermath of the events that led up to this night. It hurt Kara more than she dared to admit to know the hurt she had caused Lena, she silently hoped that one day it could be eased, and realistically there was no use in talking to Lena at the moment, noting she likely wouldn’t remember in the morning. Besides, she decided, that worry could be held off for another day, and Kara would happily hold it off as long as she could.

              Lena looked up at Kara, reaching for her hand, as Kara gently accepted it, and ran her thumb over Lena’s knuckles, “Stay, until I fall asleep,” noting Kara’s confused expression, she insisted, “please,” Kara slowly nodded and sat as Lena edged herself closer to the middle of the bed, trying her best to not look directly at her, knowing she would probably tear up if she did.

              Lena nuzzled into the blankets, savouring the remaining warmth of the bed from Kara, knowing she had chosen the right side. She had finally found the warmth she had been craving for days. Here, in Kara’s apartment, she felt completely safe.

              Kara stayed with Lena for what felt like an eternity, until she noted her breathing becoming more rhythmic, allowing her to know she had fallen asleep. Pulling the quilt up to Lena’s chin, Kara’s eyes began to prick with tears for the dark-haired woman whose eyes and mind were closed to the world around her. She was hurting, and there was nothing Kara could do to help, her guilt traversing every part of her. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, brushing a stray piece of Lena’s hair away from her perfectly angled jaw.

              Kara rose, heading for the wardrobe, to collect the spare blankets she kept. She returned to the sofa, and lay the blankets carefully across, using one of the decorative cushions as a pillow. Kara walked toward the other side of the apartment, heading to switch the light off, she took one last look at Lena, and finally allowed darkness to flood the apartment, before falling asleep herself.

\---

              The sunlight began to break through the horizon, gently nudging Lena awake. She woke feeling somewhat content, the first real nights sleep she had had in a long time. The blood pounding in her skull felt as if her heartbeat had made its way to her head, and the thundering headache was masked ever so slightly with her feeling of complete content, as Lena silently scolded herself for drinking so much.

              She looked around, frowning at the familiar, comforting, surroundings that had become ever so unfamiliar, and the woman on the sofa who too, had recently become unfamiliar to her. She stood, stretching, as her muscles ached from hours of walking and total exposure to the cold.

              Lena pulled the quilt to the top of the bed, gently smoothing it, and correcting the pillows. Lena wandered to the kitchen, to call for her car from Kara’s landline after realising she had also left her phone at home. Walking back from the kitchen, her eyes focused on Kara asleep on the sofa, quiet and motionless, with the small rising and falling of her chest that followed her breathing. Lena reached her hand toward Kara, desperate to wake her and ask what had happened. Withdrawing her hand instantly, she couldn’t forget what had happened the last time she was here, and with that, she couldn’t bring herself to forgive either.

              She collected the towel that had ended up on the other side of the bed and walked to Kara’s wardrobe, taking a pair of black flats that were a little too big. Lena took a cream coloured button-down shirt and a black skirt into the bathroom with her. She returned from the shower, fully dressed, savouring the scent of Kara’s floral shampoo as she towel dried her hair and tied it in a loose bun, with a hairband she had taken from Kara too. Lena made a mental note to return the items back to Kara, debating with herself whether she would mail them back or deliver them in person.

              She padded back to the kitchen. As she made a fresh cup of coffee, she quietly hoped it would wake Kara, the scent of morning that would follow and flow effortlessly through the apartment. But it didn’t. Lena took one last look at Kara, waiting for any sign that would indicate she was about to wake up. She put Kara’s shoes on, and silently closed the front door as she left, whilst the strong smell of coffee still floated throughout the apartment, leaving Kara to wake up alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess that was a little sweeter than the last chapter?  
> Anyway, I have an assignment due in next week (Nov 13th) so no update until after, not to mention the additional four assignments but.. Here’s hoping the show can give us the supercorp scenes we deserve.  
> I'm gonna make the chapters a lot longer, similar to chapter 1, from now on too!  
> Come say hi on Twitter! I’m @outislanders


	4. But I Was Wrong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi I'm back!! I've got three chapters lined up too, including a Christmas and New Year one!

               Lena stood outside the closed door to Kara’s apartment and fiddled with the skirt she was wearing, attempting to fix her clothing to make herself more presentable for work. She had been trying to tuck the cream shirt into the skirt. It hung a little longer than she was used to, and she had rolled the sleeves up to fit her better, another motion she wasn’t familiar with. She felt a little uncomfortable wearing Kara’s clothes, but the scent of the floral washing powder Kara used radiated each time she moved and was enough to put her at ease, allowing her mind to focus on something else. She took the elevator to the ground floor, and got into the black car that was waiting for her at the front of Kara’s building, and headed to L-Corp.

\---

               Kara woke up, stretching her aching muscles after sleeping on the sofa. The smell of coffee and new beginnings welcoming her to a new day. She craned her neck to look toward the bedroom, to check if Lena was still there sleeping peacefully. Kara blinked hard, reminding herself that Lena would already be on her way to work, the sure sign of coffee should have told her as much. Kara dug around for her phone amongst the mess of blankets. She dialled Eliza, who picked up the phone on the third ring. 

               _“Hi, sweetie,” Eliza’s voice was upbeat and welcoming, Kara hadn’t phoned for a few weeks and since she would often phone once or twice a week, at least, it began to worry Eliza, so to hear Kara’s voice made her feel at ease._

               Kara released a sigh of relief, “hi Eliza. It’s so nice to hear your voice, how are you?” 

               _“I’m good, I’m just about to leave to go to work, what about you?”_ Kara looked at the clock that hung on the kitchen wall, seeing it was a little past eight in the morning, she too was going to be late for work, but for once, it didn’t bother her as much as it should have. 

               “Great. I’m good- I was thinking of coming home for a while,” 

               _Eliza paused, the holidays weren’t for a few weeks, and Kara rarely made multiple trips to Midvale when she would be back so soon, “is something wrong?”_

               “Oh no, nothing like that. I just miss you, and Midvale. National City can get a bit boring, you know, too many buildings…” her words began to trail off as her mind wandered, trying to find reasons to leave the city, “not enough greenery,” Kara sighed, she often found solace in Midvale, one of the only places she had felt completely safe and at home, “I miss the ocean.” 

               Part of Kara knew Eliza would be able to detect the reluctant tone in her voice and she was silently grateful she chose not to pry. _“You know you’re more than welcome, when were you thinking? I can take a few days off to spend time with you.”_

               “I haven’t decided yet, maybe in a couple of weeks.” Kara’s voice perked up a bit, allowing Eliza to hear the smile in her voice, “I’m also desperate for one of your casseroles,” 

               _“I’m guessing the recipe book I gave you didn’t go well?”_

               Kara frowned, the last time she had even attempted anything in the book was when she had invited Lena over for dinner one night. “Let’s save that story for another time,” she smiled at the sound of Eliza’s laugh, comforting and warm. 

               _“I can’t wait,”_

               Kara smiled, “me either, I’ll let you get to work, I better too. Hope you have a great day.” 

               _“You too, love you.”_

               “Bye, love you.” after hanging up the phone Kara pursed her lips, tapping her phone in her hand. She braced herself for a new day she was neither excited or grateful for. 

               Kara rose from the sofa and ran a hand through her hair, wincing slightly at the morning tangles pulling at her scalp as she walked to the kitchen, yawns engulfing each breath. She placed a hand on the glass of the coffee pot which was still warm, remembering Lena had recently left; and proceeded to pour herself a fresh cup and prepared a bagel for her breakfast. She walked to the bathroom, realising her dislike for the cold wooden floors on her bare feet and began to get ready. After showering, Kara put a moderate amount of concealer over the bags under her eyes that had appeared between Lena’s less than expected arrival during the night and the early morning of a work day. Kara chose one of her usual sweaters, opting for a soft pastel blue paired with dark jeans with brown ankle boots. She had seen the clothes she had given Lena the night before, folded perfectly on the bottom of her bed. Kara bundled the clothes up and threw them into the washing machine. Noting Lena’s dress, she paused briefly, reminding herself this most definitely was unable to be put in with the rest of the washing. On her way out, Kara put on the grey trench coat that hung on the coat rack to the side of the door as she draped Lena’s dress over one arm and headed outside.

\---

               “Miss … Luthor,” Jess paused briefly, slightly stunned by Lena’s more than casual appearance for work, her blouse a little too slack, and her shoes hitting the back of her ankles as she walked down the corridor, each click echoing louder than the last. 

               Lena walked swiftly past, eager to get to work, calling back, “good morning, Jess.” 

               As Lena walked down the corridor, Jess called out to her, “You have a meeting at three,” 

               Lena stopped, and retraced her steps back to Jess's desk, “with who?” 

               Jess' eyes narrowed as she looked to Lena, quietly nudging her to remember her schedule, “a reporter from CatCo.” Lena silently hoped the reporter was Kara, and at the same time, couldn’t bear to see her again. 

               “Of course, how could I forget?” Lena had no recollection of a planned meeting, but she trusted Jess’ judgement enough. 

               Jess slowed her speech as she had noted the small fall in Lena’s face, “You had a cancellation, so I rearranged your schedule.” 

               “That’s brilliant, thank you, Jess.” Lena walked off, running her timetable through her mind, she had expected a day full of paperwork, minimal effort that would keep her busy and she certainly hadn’t planned to see anyone today. She hadn’t even remembered making any meeting this week, never mind one with CatCo. 

\---

               On her walk to CatCo, Kara decided she was already late to work, so a few more minutes, or even an extra hour wouldn’t make much of a difference. The air outside was colder than Kara remembered, the onset of winter that seemed to be surrounding every aspect of National City was a reminder of the closing of another year. Leaves that had turned from red, to orange, and finally yellow, resembled the movement of flames in the small gusts of winds that forced them to travel across the street. A thick blanket of discarded leaves that made a crunching sound under the weight of Kara’s feet as she walked reminded her of Midvale. The summers that had seemed endless, full of fun and warmth, only to abruptly end and become replaced with colder seasons. It reminded Kara of the cold days when she would drag Alex from the warmth of their home in the early mornings and force her to walk with her to school when they were younger, so that she could appreciate the beauty of the town she was in. It reminded her of the love of Earth and for the people who lived here that she had developed. 

               Placing her free hand in her pocket and holding Lena’s dress a little closer, to stave of the falling temperatures, Kara’s heart yearned for elsewhere, a piece of her past that had become a distant memory. She reminded herself she would return home soon, and wished the ‘soon’ she had thought of would arrive quicker than planned. Kara quickly rounded the corner to the dry cleaners. She hadn’t used the dry cleaners very often, only once or twice when she had accidentally dropped pieces of food down her dresses at parties or galas toward the end of the night. She walked in, smiling to the attendant, silently grateful for the warmth of the store. After dropping Lena’s dress at the dry cleaners, Kara finally made it to CatCo, ready to start her day at work.

\---

               There was a small knock at the door, “Come in,” Lena called, taking her own attention away from her paperwork, as the taller blonde woman walked in with her usual infectious smile. “Kara?” Lena sounded surprised to see her, but couldn’t help but smile in return. 

               “Lena, hi!” Kara’s voice softened, “How are you?” 

               “Good a little tired,” Lena’s smile was faltering as she looked to Kara, “and you?” 

               “I’m good. I uh- I took your dress to the dry cleaners,” Kara handed her the small green ticket. 

               “Wh- why? You didn’t have to,” 

               “I had to pass them anyway. It’s not like I could throw it in the washing machine,” she giggled, receiving a smile from the dark-haired woman, knowing that one of Lena’s dresses were likely the same price as her own rent for a year. 

               Again, Kara’s small gestures of kindness had the ability to keep surprising Lena. She was almost certain there were no dry cleaners near Kara’s home or on her way to work, so for Kara to go out of her way meant even more. “Thank you, really, that’s so nice of you. How much was it?” 

               Kara held her hands up, “No chance. It’s on me.” 

               “Please, let me-” 

               “No,” 

               Knowing that Kara would not budge, Lena gave in, “thank you.” 

               “You don’t have to thank me.” Kara sat in the chair opposite Lena’s, resting her hands on her desk. 

               “So- what’s up?” 

               “I had a meeting with you,” 

               Lena nodded, sinking into her office chair, hoping Kara would be able to remind her of the situation, “about?” 

               “L-Corp’s announcement?” 

               “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” 

               “Jess had contacted James,” Kara looked to Lena who was frowning, seemingly just as confused as she was, “she said there would be announcement regarding Supergirl and L-Corp, and I thought it best to-” 

               “Kara, I really don’t know what you’re talking about.” Lena shook her head, as if she were able to remember by this simple act, “Maybe there was some sort of mistake?” 

               “I mean, you can check with Jess if you like, but-” 

               “I’ll talk to her, maybe there’s been a misunderstanding.” Lena paused thinking to herself, had she mentioned something? No, of course not, something didn’t add up; she convinced herself she hadn’t been herself for weeks and she likely forgot. 

               Noting Lena’s less than usual confused behaviour, Kara was eager to change the subject, “Well anyway, I brought doughnuts!” Kara brandished the square box, with a large smile encompassing her face, “I thought you would probably want some sort of sugary junk food after last night.” After receiving a call from Jess to bring CatCo’s meeting with Lena earlier, Kara had jumped at the opportunity to go, and left almost immediately. On her way to L-Corp, she had noticed that the local bakery had opened later than usual and had just finished making a fresh batch of doughnuts, which she didn’t hesitate to bring straight to Lena. It wasn’t the first time Kara had brought food with her when they would meet in Lena’s office. It had become a sort of silent expectance, and yet welcome gesture all the same. 

               “Thank you but I’ve already eaten.” Kara narrowed her eyes at Lena, knowing she almost never ate when she was so busy, and the piles of paper that were spread over Lena’s desk allowed her to know just how busy Lena really was. Lena noticed Kara’s expression, “I wanted to thank you for last night too, whatever happened…” she lowered her voice to a whisper, “I really didn’t mean to just turn up like that.” 

               “Regardless, you don’t have to be hungry for doughnuts and really, it’s no problem at all.” Her smile was warm and comforting to Lena, making her feel the familiarity of Kara’s presence she had long forgotten. 

               Lena smiled, she sounded like her old friend, food helping to solve any problems that they would have to face, “I was hoping to speak to you, Kara.” 

               “I know,” Kara sat herself upright in the chair that sat opposite Lena’s desk, “and I’m here to listen,” Kara braced herself to answer any of Lena’s questions, and to tell her everything she needed and wanted to know. The endless conversations Kara had with Lena and herself in her mind eventually having the opportunity to come to fruition. 

               Lena leaned forward on her desk, “I guessed a part of me wanted to talk to you yesterday as well,” Kara nodded, bracing herself. Lena continued mindlessly fidgeting with her hands as she often did, “anyway, I-” Jess walked in, as both Lena and Kara’s attention simultaneously switched to the office door. 

               “Sorry to intrude Miss Luthor, your mail arrived.” Jess handed the envelopes to Lena, the top few marked with a red stamp labelled ‘urgent’. Lena inhaled a sharp breath as she retrieved the mail from Jess, thanking her, making a mental note of even more work to attend to. Kara gave Jess a tight-lipped smile as she fiddled with the leg of her glasses, watching her leave. 

               Lena cleared her throat and returned to her usual business-like stoic appearance, “I wanted to tell you that L-Corp is here for you, whatever you need. I’ll see to it personally, you have my word.” 

               “Oh,” Kara had expected a different conversation from Lena, instead of her choosing to solely discuss business. 

               “If you need any sort of support with technology, substances, anything. L-Corp is more than happy to assist you, Miss Danvers.” 

               Kara’s eyes narrowed, “Well, Miss Luthor,” after she received a warning glare from Lena, she continued, “what else did you want to talk about?” 

               “Nothing, that will be all. You can show yourself out.” Lena’s voice remained cold toward Kara, her icy exterior always finding its way to the surface whenever Lena would try to be vulnerable and open. Kara stood and drummed her fingers lightly on the handle of her bag, talking more to the floor than Lena, “If you want to talk about what I _know_ you need to, I’m home all week.” She waited for a response from Lena, a sly or witty remark, Kara would’ve taken anything in that moment but instead she quickly turned on her heels, pausing to look back at Lena as she reached the office door. Lena chose to ignore Kara’s words and continued typing on her computer, and sorting out her papers. 

\---

               Instead of returning to CatCo, Kara took the long walk home from L-Corp to Alex’s apartment. It was early afternoon, and Alex would likely be home by the time Kara had reached her apartment building. She passed the lining of trees that surrounded the path toward the park, passing ponds and waterfowl as she walked, smiling to herself as she heard the laughs of families and friends that travelled on the wind. 

               Upon reaching Alex’s building, Kara had decided to take the stairs up to Alex’s apartment, with the notion of wasting time still in her mind. She rounded the corner to Alex’s and knocked on the door. 

               “Hey, Kara,” Alex answered the door in her pyjamas and took in Kara’s appearance as she stepped to the side of the door frame, “you didn’t say you were dropping by.” 

               “Well I needed to see you.” 

               “Come on in”, Alex smiled.

\---

               The rest of the day passed by in a blur, with Lena remaining in her office. Toward the afternoon, Lena had dimmed the bright lights of the office when she had finished with her paperwork, allowing her to turn her office chair every so often toward the large window to look out at the city, avoiding the reflection in the glass with the dimly lit office. She had been briefly interrupted towards the end of the afternoon by Sam, turning up with a homemade lasagne for an early dinner. Sam had also brought plates and cutlery from the work room, laying out the food for them both whilst Lena finished working on her computer. They ate mainly in silence, which was different, as they would often spend days laughing in each other’s company and after last night, Sam was becoming increasingly worried about Lena. 

               “What is it?” Sam asked, as Lena continued mindlessly prodding the food with her fork, moving pieces of lasagne around the plate. 

               “Hm?” 

               “Come on Lena, you’ve not been yourself for weeks.” Sam set her cutlery down, “You can talk to me,” 

               Lena’s mind rattled with her disjointed thoughts, thinking of the right words to say to Sam. There was so much going on, her fight with Kara, her constant confusion at work, and then there was James; and Lena chose the easiest option to talk about, “I’m thinking of breaking up with James.” 

               The dim lighting of the office softened Sam’s hazel eyes, as Lena looked up, wincing at the empathy behind them, “I thought you were happy with him?” 

               “I wouldn’t say that,” she went back to prodding at her food, “oh, I don’t know. I guess he was just there, you know?” 

               “Did something happen? After everything that happened last night, I thought-” 

               “No… I feel like I’ve been living someone else’s life for weeks,” she rested her head on her hand, and stared off to focus on the wall instead of Sam, talking more to herself than her friend in front of her, “and I’m just watching everything crash around me, unable to do anything about it,” 

               Sam reached her hand toward Lena’s, wary of Lena’s surprising candour, “hey, it’s okay, what is it?” 

               Lena gave a muffled laughed as she shook her head, “I’m fine, really, just stress with work.” 

               “I’m more than happy to take more of an active role; with the holidays coming up, maybe you can take some time off-” 

               “It’s a family holiday so I couldn’t ask you to do that, you should be with Ruby.” It had been years since Lena had anywhere to go at Christmas or someone to spend nights with at New Years. Although she did spend the run up to Christmas Day with her friends last year, Christmas Day itself was just like any other, lonely and spent working. She had become used to it and she had just about convinced herself enough that it didn’t bother her. 

               “You’re not. I’m offering and you're my family too, Lena.” Sam relaxed into her chair, “She’s at school most of the time, for a few weeks anyway- and she loves this place, the view from here is one of her favourites,” 

               Lena smiled, to her it was one of the best views in all of National City, and she reminded herself how lucky she was to be able to see it every day, “it’s one of my favourite views too.” 

               “What about Kara?” 

               Lena shifted to sit upright in her chair, crossing her arms, “What about her?” 

               Sam ignored Lena’s standoffish behaviour, “If you don’t want to talk to me-” 

               “That’s not it,” 

               Sam clenched her jaw, remembering Lena’s past, “or someone else? Maybe a professional-” 

               “Don’t be ridiculous, Sam.” 

               Sam released the breath she was holding, “Then I’m telling you, as your friend, to take some time off, please.” 

               “Fine,” 

               “fine?” Sam returned Lena’s wide-eyed gaze with a grin, “Great, then you’re going to go home and you’re going to pour yourself a big glass of wine, and order something deliciously unhealthy. Okay?” Lena sighed, “Deal.” 

               “Then I’ll see you at Christmas, Lena.” Sam rose and walked around Lena’s desk to give her a quick hug, surprising Lena as she hadn’t known she needed it. Sam had expected to see Lena over Christmas as she often had, but hoped Lena would accept her invitation for Christmas Day and New Year’s Eve in the next couple of weeks once she had planned a proper event for all of their friends. 

               “I’ll see you then.” Lena’s voice perked up a bit as she helped Sam pack up the food that she had brought them both, as well as the plates and cutlery. The taller brunette woman smiled at Lena as she left the office, receiving a tight-lipped smile and a nod in return.

\---

               As she arrived at her building, Lena stepped out of the car into the cold air of the night. She closed the car door behind her, watching as her driver sped off. The lights of her glass building greeted her with warmth as she walked into the lobby. She had received a key from the attendant at the front desk for her penthouse, and quickly made her way upstairs, feeling completely exhausted, craving her bed. 

               Lena unlocked her front door, closing it behind her as she reached for the light switch and allowed it to slowly flood the apartment. “James!” Lena jumped slightly to the sight of him still in her penthouse. She had convinced herself he would have left hours ago, “You scared me-” she took in his dishevelled appearance, “haven’t you been to work?” 

               James stood, crossing from the kitchen to Lena who was still standing in the entryway, “Lena, where have you been?” There was a brief concern in his voice, which could easily be missed, that began to become flooded with anger. 

               Lena stepped out of Kara’s shoes and gently kicked them to the side of the doorframe, “Work- didn’t you see my note?” 

               “I’ve been calling you.” 

               “I couldn’t sleep and there was work that needed my attention.” James’ voice began to irritate Lena, his questions began weighing her down, the idea that she needed to report to him felt sickening. “I accidentally left my phone… You could have easily stopped by or rang L-Corp if you wanted to reach me.” 

               He sighed, “I’m sorry,” his face barely moved, his voice draining and monotonous, “what did you want to talk about?” James asked. 

               Lena fidgeted with her hands, “Us,” 

               “and?” 

               Lena looked up, “I want to break up with you James,” 

               James laughed, unnerving Lena, “that’s funny, really what is it?” 

               “Surely you’ve realised what we had wasn’t working out,” she gestured with her hands, “we barely speak and I mean it’s been obvious for a little wh-” 

               “Did you ever love me?” James pressed. 

               “I-” 

               “You don’t need to answer that. Of course, you didn’t, because you don’t know what love is, Lena.” 

               “Maybe if you stopped interrupting me,” James’ words had slightly stunned Lena, she had expected a small amount of hesitation, animosity, possibly, but she didn’t expect to hear such cruelty from him in such a small amount of time as she hadn’t said anything to warrant such a response. She paused, “but of course, I do, that’s why I’ve realised I don’t love you.” 

               “No” he snarled, “no one’s ever loved you,” 

               Lena rolled her eyes, “don’t be callous, James.” He, much like anyone, could have a mean streak when he wanted to, and could be kind in the exact same way if he had chosen to. It had taken Lena months to see through his façade and she was beyond grateful to eventually break up with him. 

               “Your own mother left-” Lena could smell the alcohol lingering on James’ breath, he often drank at night, so the smell didn’t surprise her, but after her own indulgence of alcohol over the last few weeks, it was repulsive. 

               “Don’t-” Lena bared her teeth at James like a cornered wolf, her voice raising on every word she spoke, “don’t you dare mention her, you have no idea what you’re talking about.” It was true, Lena hadn’t spoken of her birth mother with anyone, not Kara or Sam, and certainly not James. She had not spoken of her death, or that she had even died to James, instead telling him that she had left her when she was younger. She had seen it as another vulnerable part of herself, which in a way, for Lena, it was. Her mother’s death had affected her in ways she could not even begin to imagine and certainly hadn’t even dealt with; instead, choosing to bury her feelings with the constant mantra of not being defined by her past. It wasn’t healthy, and Lena knew it; telling herself it was another thing that needed her attention, placing her memories on a list in her mind in the same way she would with L-Corp's business. 

               “Look around Lena, who else is here for you but me? Who else cares?” 

               Lena straightened her posture, crossing her arms, “Plenty of people,” 

               “Name one,” 

               Lena was slightly stunned by James’ comments, “Kara. Kara does.” Kara did, she told herself. “Sam… and Alex and-” 

               James interrupted her, “Sam’s your employee,” 

               Lena raised an eyebrow, “and what does that make you?” 

               Choosing to ignore Lena’s question, James continued, “You want to talk about Kara caring? Fine let’s talk” a sick smile encompassed James face as if he had been desperate to utter the following words to Lena, “she’s been lying to you from the second she met you,” she let him continue, knowing where his speech would lead, “she’s Supergirl.” 

               Lena’s eyes unwillingly met James’ whose eyes grew wide in the realisation of what he had said, his hand moving to cover his mouth as if he could retract his words. “I know,” she whispered, fiddling slightly with the hem of Kara’s shirt she was still wearing. 

               “Lena-” James’ voice sounded unnaturally vile to Lena, her name disgusting with the tone of his voice. “I- how did you-” 

               “Don’t turn me breaking up with you into that. Kara has nothing to do with this.” 

               James looked unsure, shifting his weight on both feet, “I care about you- a lot. I know that would’ve been hard for you to hear.” 

               “You’ve never cared about anyone but yourself.” 

               “I’ve always cared about you,” James softened his voice and composure. 

               “and you think caring is constantly dragging my name through the dirt?” Lena exclaimed. “Ignoring me when I try to talk to you? When something’s wrong?” She lowered her voice, “You don’t listen, I have tried time and time again to actually speak to you.” 

               “What?” 

               “I know what you said, that I was like Lex, that I would use and betray my friends and-” Lena’s voice broke, “you even called me a criminal, and I let it slide, because I thought, ‘oh he’s Superman’s best friend, it’s not his fault’” Lena regained her composure, “but you are just like everyone else, James, there’s nothing special about you.” 

               James let out a shaky breath, his own nerve crumbling. He had thought Lena wouldn’t have known, and that his own cruel words toward a woman he had never met would never come back to meet him in the eye. “How did you know?” 

               “That’s the beauty of being a Luthor,” Lena snarled, using her name to her advantage, “I know everything.” 

               “You’re not-” 

               Lena had expected him to say that she was not like them, that she wasn’t a Luthor, instead she chose to interrupt his way to an apology, “and then to tell me about what Kara asked of you, with the kryptonite?” 

               “You needed to know,” James softened his speech, “you deserved to know.” 

               “No, I didn’t. She’s allowed her own opinion... I could’ve been happier not knowing,” Lena winced slightly at the memory, of Kara’s harsh words, of her momentarily thinking the worst of her, she fiddled with the collar of Kara’s shirt, “I would’ve been happier.” 

               “I told you what Su- Kara said, because I love you.” Lena glared at James. His words were as mismatched as the two of them, the constant contradicting of each sentence working its way through as he spoke. 

               “Oh James… Look at that,” the left-hand corner of Lena’s mouth rose in a slight smirk, “it’s not me who doesn’t know what love is,” she tilted her head up, keeping her gaze fixed on him, “it’s _you_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that was okay, and you're glad James is gone, I certainly am!  
> Come say hi on twitter, I'm @outislanders


	5. They Were Just Beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a really long chapter because I kept adding things that I secretly needed to write for my own sanity. Also, I loved all of your responses toward the end of Lolsen in the last chapter so I added something a little extra you might like!

               “You’re kidding, surely?” James asked, following Lena around the kitchen. She placed her spare key she had just received in the bowl that sat on the edge of one of the white marble counters. 

               Lena turned around, causing James to abruptly stop and stand tall, towering over Lena, as she held up her hands, “Get out.” 

               James’ voice was exhausting, “But my- my things are here," 

               “You can collect everything on your last day at CatCo, which is next Friday.” Lena smiled, choosing to meet James’ confused gaze with one of glee, “Did I mention you were fired?” 

               “You can’t just-” 

               Lena’s signature left eyebrow rose, “That’s where you’re wrong. As your boss, I’m firing you. Now, _get out_.” 

               If his normal voice hadn’t already annoyed Lena enough, his pleading was certaintly much worse, “I- I’m sorry, we can work on this-” 

               “Oh, you’re absolutely right,” Lena saw his eyes glitter with hope, and she was more than ready to ruin it, “that’s what I’m doing, fixing this mess; _now out_.” James opened his mouth, and looked as if he were going to try and apologise to Lena. He seemed shocked to see her react in such a way, when she normally would have accepted his apology and gone along with whatever he had said. Instead, she was somewhat happy, she didn’t feel upset to see him leave, she was only momentarily angry with herself for allowing this ‘relationship’ to continue for as long as it had. Lena watched as James fumbled around her penthouse, tucking his purple shirt into his trousers, and tying his laces on the shoes Lena had always hated. 

               “Have fun being alone for the rest of your life, Lena.” James spat, opening the door to see himself out. 

               His poisonous words passed his intended target, as Lena joyfully called back, “Have fun being unemployed.” With the door slammed shut, Lena took a much-needed deep breath, steadying herself. Lena smiled to the empty penthouse, silently praising her own actions and tenacity. She was Lena Luthor, and she deserved so much more. 

\--- 

               Alex walked from behind the kitchen counter tops to the sofa, bringing Kara a glass of water, and a beer for herself. “So...” Alex began, as Kara stared at the fireplace, watching the shadows that the flames created leap and dance, still wearing her coat despite the warmth inside. 

               Kara took her attention away from the fireplace, and briefly looked toward Alex, “It’s Lena-” 

               “Recently, it always is.” Alex smiled. 

               “She’s infuriating,” Kara spat out, “I just need her to say something- anything to me, you know?” Alex let Kara continue, “I told her, I told her I was Supergirl and I didn’t get anything back in return, not an argument, not any type of remark-” Kara sighed, “she just got up and left,” 

               Alex gave Kara a searching look, wary of overstepping any boundaries, “Have you seen Lena since?” 

               Kara bit the bottom of her lip, debating whether to tell Alex, “That’s the thing...” she continued, knowing Alex would’ve immediately been able to see through any lies she had conjured up, “last night she was drunk and turned up at my apartment,” 

               Alex sat upright, “was she okay?” 

               “I mean- I don’t- I gave her fresh clothes and she fell asleep and went back to work the next morning-” 

               Alex knew there was more to the story than Kara was telling her, but she didn’t pry. Instead, she chose a few words that would put Kara more at ease, “Without a hangover?” 

               Kara smiled, and playfully nudged Alex, “She could easily beat you in a drinking game,” 

               Alex raised her eyebrows, and tilted her head towards Kara, “I bet she could,” 

               Kara mindlessly spoke of Lena again, desperate to allow the words to leave her mind, “and then I saw Lena at L-Corp earlier on and she seemed like she wanted to tell me something or ask me a question and again, nothing.” 

               “You’ll have to give her time,” Alex took a swig of her beer, “she’ll come around,” 

               Kara shrugged herself out of her coat, and settled it on the arm of the sofa, “I hope so, I can’t lose someone like her. She’s my best friend.” 

               “You won’t,” Alex softened her voice, “I know she cares about you too; your friendship is too important to her.” 

               Kara reached for the glass of water that sat in-front of her, “Did I ever tell you that you’re-” 

               “Always right?” Alex leaned back on the sofa, with a Cheshire-cat grin for Kara, “I know I am,” 

               “You always know what to say,” Kara corrected her. She looked around Alex’s apartment, seemingly just now noticing the lit-up Christmas tree in the corner of the room. “You didn’t tell me you had your Christmas decorations up yet,” 

               “Well it _is_ almost Christmas; shouldn’t you have yours up by now?” Alex laughed as Kara shook her head, “Who’s Christmas tree can mom compare mine to now?” 

               Kara hadn’t realised how close the holidays were, she seemed to have been stuck in one place for the past few weeks, and forgot that time didn’t stop because she did. “I will- when I get back to my place.” 

               Alex eagerly changed the subject to a happier idea, “I got a call from Sam earlier, she’s wanting us to all go to hers for Christmas Day.” 

               Kara smiled, “That would be nice,” she frowned, thinking, “but what about Lena?” 

               “Including Lena of course, Sam was just planning-” 

               “No, I mean- she hates me, she wouldn’t want to see me...” Kara interrupted, imagining seeing Lena again. 

               Alex put her arm around Kara, and brought her closer to her, “With that in mind, Christmas is all about forgiveness, what with the approach of a new year and all?” 

               “I hope so.” 

               Alex gestured with the bottle of beer she was holding, “Speaking of which, you’re on dessert duty for Sam,” 

               Kara rolled her eyes, tilting her head back, “you’re kidding?” 

               “Absolutely not. It’s about time you learned how to bake some sort of dessert, _without_ burning it” 

               Kara laughed, receiving a giggle from Alex in return, “That is not my fault, the ovens here are different.” 

               “You literally have a recipe book that tells you how to do it, step by step,” 

               Kara peered at Alex over the top of her glasses, “fine, it’s going to be the best Christmas themed dessert there ever was” her voice filled with a determined spirit, “I’ll put Mary Berry to shame,” 

               Alex thought to herself, she hoped Kara could take her mind off of things by baking, something she loved to do, but ultimately couldn’t. She hoped her younger sister would in return be able to make something somewhat edible. “Oh, I’m sure you will.” 

\--- 

               Lena had changed out of Kara’s clothes and placed one of her own shirts on instead. It was a burgundy V-neck t-shirt and it was one of the most comfortable things she owned. She had also chosen black slacks to match. Lena had been grateful for not having to wear heels during the day, but a small part of her missed wearing them, and she had decided to put them on again as she left, taking her coat along with her. Lena had asked her driver to stop a few blocks away from Kara’s building, to which she in turn, received a glance of suspicion from the man which she quickly wrote off. She left the car and proceeded to walk swiftly to Kara’s familiar red-brick building. Lena swallowed and clenched her jaw, feeling a nauseating wave of emotion pass her. A part of her didn’t want to be here, but the part that yearned for answers and familiarity overwrote the rest of her emotions. Walking into Kara’s building, she pressed the button to call for the elevator, which lit up a burnt orange, as she waited for the numbers to change and drop on the LCD screen above. She stood for around five minutes, noting the numbers hadn’t changed and craned her neck to look for the stairs. After finding the stairs she quickly rushed toward the door. 

               She opened the heavy metal fire door, and took a deep breath, bracing herself to go up the concrete stairs. Lena took each step with a careful precision, her heels feeling unfamiliar after wearing Kara’s larger flats earlier in the day. It was only by the first flight of stairs that Lena had passed that she took a slight tumble. _Shit_ , she cursed herself in her mind, wincing at the marks on her knees and the scrapes on her hands that had taken the majority of the fall. She removed her heels, telling herself that she most definitely needed to buy another pair of trainers, and with that, definitely had to start wearing them as she headed up the next few flights to Kara’s apartment on the fourth floor. 

               Lena jutted her chin forward as she stared at the worn golden ‘4A’ that sat in the middle of Kara’s door. It sat a little higher than Lena without heels, quickly remembering she was barefoot on the cold tiles. She slowly balled her hand into a light fist, mindful of the pain on her palms and proceeded to knock on the door, waiting to hear the metal lock twist. When it didn’t, Lena knocked again. Lena raised her voice so Kara could hear, momentarily forgetting she had excellent hearing. “Kara Danvers, I know you’re home and I’m not leaving until you answer this door!” Lena knocked on the door again, “Ka-” an older woman, with her white hair in tight curls and huge jam-jar like glasses encompassing her face startled Lena as she opened her own front door opposite Kara’s. 

               “Can you keep the noise down?!” Her voice was croaky, and insistent, causing Lena to immediately lower her own voice like a scolded child. 

               “Sorry, I’m- I’m here to see Kara,” Lena replied sheepishly, not daring to look the older woman in the eyes. 

               “Well how about you wait quietly?” She turned toward the corridor, calling back toward Lena. “You better be quiet by the time I return!” Lena watched as the older woman walked down the hall toward the stairs, slightly stunned by her overall demeanour. 

\--- 

               Alex had ordered pizza, Kara’s favourite, for the two of them, as they caught up on one of Kara’s reality shows, which received a disapproving groan from Alex. They had spoken about plans for New Year’s Eve, about what each of them had hoped to do in the following year, and where they would spend the closing of the year, and the bright beginning of a new one. Kara had thought of telling Alex about her plans to return to Midvale for a little while, she decided it would be best that she didn’t. Alex would’ve insisted on joining her and more than anything, Kara wanted time to be alone, and she had thought Midvale would be the best place to go. No one would ask her questions, and she could relax, in the knowledge of a familiar town that ultimately meant home to her and she craved it more than anything. Kara left Alex with a quick hug, and left her building to go home, taking the quicker route, fighting sleep as she walked. 

               Kara rounded the corner to her apartment door, seeing the smaller brunette woman sitting on the floor with her back to the wall. “Lena!” Kara lowered her voice, as Lena stood, “What are you-” 

               “She’s been there for hours.” Mrs. Needleberg interrupted as she quickly walked into the corridor, following in Kara’s wake. 

               “Oh, hi, Mrs. Needleberg, how are you?” Kara asked. 

               “Better now that you’re here, she’s been after you,” she replied, glaring disapprovingly at Lena who stood much shorter to Kara without her heels. 

               “Well I’m here now,” Kara replied in a matter-of-fact manner, nodding, holding back a laugh. 

               “Keep the noise down.” Mrs Needleberg scolded them, as they both watched her close her door. 

               Kara unlocked the door, quickly closing it as Lena followed her inside. It was just as comfortable as Lena had remembered, the low lights that made the apartment always look so inviting during the night and the floral smell she had often associated with Kara. 

               “Your neighbour hates me,” Lena laughed, shrugging out of her coat. 

               Kara followed suit, and laughed along with her friend, removing her shoes, noting the dirt on the top of her left boot. “How could anyone hate you?” Lena arched her eyebrow toward Kara, “She doesn’t... she’s not a fan of noise.” 

               “I’ll take your word for it,” 

               Kara continued, her eyes wide, “she’s also my landlady.” 

               Lena lowered her voice to a whisper, “I hope I didn’t get you into trouble,” 

               Kara hung her coat up on the rack and took Lena’s too, leaving them both hanging next to each other. “Not at all, I’m glad you’re here.” 

               “Yeah...” Lena nodded to herself, feeling the air leave her lungs, “I am too.” 

               “What’s with you turning up here without any shoes on?” 

               Lena face flooded a light shade of pink, as she brandished her black high heels, “Th- they’re in my hand.” She placed them on the floor beside the door. 

               “I’m kidding,” after receiving a warm laugh from Lena in return, she continued, “are you hungry?” 

               “Sam brought leftovers for dinner at the office.” 

               “Good,” Kara smiled. “So, a few hours, huh?” 

               Lena settled herself on the chair at the kitchen table, “I thought you were at home and you were ignoring me,” 

               “I would never-” 

               “I know.” Lena quickly replied, although a part of her still thought it whilst she spent time in the corridor, and she was so happy that it wasn’t the case. 

               “Coffee?” Kara asked as she walked to the kitchen. 

               “Please,” Lena replied. 

               Kara fiddled with the ground coffee beans, and water as she turned the coffee pot on, as Lena watched. She walked over to the washing machine, and opened the door. She placed her hand on top of the pile, noting the clothes she had thrown in earlier were still damp. She took them and placed them into the tumble dryer, with a floral dryer sheet that always made the clothes smell of rich lavender. “How was your day?” Kara asked, walking back to the light wooden table, leaning on it as she waited for Lena’s response. 

               Lena paused, having been caught off guard by someone genuinely caring about her day. “Fine. I broke up with James.” 

               Kara walked back to the kitchen counters and poured milk into both cups and set one down in front of Lena. She waited for Lena to continue and tell her more about breaking up with James but she didn’t. Instead, Kara thought it best to ask for herself, “So how did it go?” 

               Lena looked up, “How did what go?” 

               “Breaking up with James?” 

               “D- did you want me to?” 

               “Wait, what?” In a way, Kara was glad she had. More than anything, she wanted her friend to be happy, and for a time, whilst she was with James, Lena became virtually unrecognisable. She had changed from the strong woman who always knew her self-worth to one who needed to be constantly reminded of it. Lena’s strength was impeccable, and Kara hoped she would find it again. 

               Lena wafted the air in front of her, she could barely contain the joy in her voice that escaped as she grinned, “It went great. I fired him,” 

               Kara ignored Lena’s small comments and questions toward her, feeling she had caught Lena off-guard. “You did?” 

               “James had no respect for me in a relationship or as a person alone. His kind of negativity doesn’t belong at CatCo, we’re a company that provides a reliable source of news, and we don’t need someone with such hatred. I care about CatCo and the people who work there, they deserve better.” Kara smiled at Lena’s words, she knew Lena would do what was best for her business. “Really, we had no actual connection, I don’t know what I was thinking; we weren’t even friends...” Lena’s words trailed off, keeping Kara’s attention with her, “I had never told him I loved him, not once, and he only said it when I was breaking up with him.” 

               Kara remembered when Sam and herself had encouraged Lena’s relationship with James. Lena had responded to the lack of chemistry, but took their suggestion anyway. They had seemed like a great match at the time, and Kara hated herself for not realising how unhappy Lena was, and for not giving her the opportunity to share her problems with her. “So… how are you after all that?” 

               “I feel free,” Kara smiled at Lena’s content appearance, “it’s like there’s this weight that’s suddenly gone, you know?” 

               “Yeah,” Kara nodded. 

               Lena brought the coffee cup to her lips, “I’m ready to be independent again, I don’t need to be defined by a relationship.” She had always thought of what it was like to love and be loved in return, the kind of love that people talk about and write endless songs about. It didn’t matter, it was just another thought that passed Lena’s mind, she would rather have a fulfilling life and career than depend on love alone. 

               “I’m happy for you,” Kara gave Lena a searching look, “it’s nice to see the Lena I know again.” 

               “Yeah, I want to be by myself, and be able to go out with my friends and drink until the room sways and not care about how I get home,” Lena’s smile radiated the room, “and make plans on a whim and stop for ice-cream on the side of a road wearing a dress made for some extravagant party, and I want to see the sun set over the ocean and watch the sky fade to black and see the stars shine-” 

               Lena’s words sounded fantastic, and so terribly normal. To Kara, it seemed she had craved the simple existence that the world had to offer, and it was so simple but seemed so exciting. “So, you want something fun?” 

               “Absolutely and some sort of normality. James was draining,” Lena tilted her head, “Sam’s taking care of L-Corp, so,” she thought to herself, “maybe even a vacation.” 

               Kara’s eyebrows rose, she hadn’t expected to hear Lena mention taking an actual vacation when she would rarely take the morning off. “Where would you go?” 

               “Somewhere small,” her hands clung tighter to the coffee cup she was given, “where the name ‘Lena Luthor’ means nothing.” 

               “You should definitely go to a beach resort somewhere warm, with a spa and free cocktails and all the food you could possibly eat,” 

               Lena thought of all of the different places she could go, and dreamt of the furthest places from National City, maybe Hamilton Island, or even Bora Bora. In National City’s winter, it was their summer so Lena reminded herself that there was no time like the present, she wasn’t too fond of the sun, but she wanted somewhere far and beautiful. She could easily pack her bags and go tomorrow if she wanted, but a nagging voice told her to wait. “That sounds heavenly,” 

               Kara leaned toward Lena, and looked her directly in the eye which momentarily unnerved the smaller brunette, until her mouth curved into a smile, “but absolutely no kale,” 

               Lena protested, “Kale is healthy, self-love and all that-” 

               Kara looked directly at Lena, “please tell me you’re not defending kale.” Kara leaned back in her chair, eagerly correcting Lena with her own definition, “Self-love is eating a family-sized portion of food when you’re all by yourself, and then eating your favourite ice cream.” 

               Lena’s laugh filled the apartment, and Kara saw the familiar sparkle she would often see in her eyes fight its way to the surface. It was a small moment but it made Kara all the happier to see Lena’s genuine content in her company, “I’ll take your word for that too.” 

               “Well then,” Kara raised her coffee cup, “here’s to two single women learning all about self-love,” 

               Lena met Kara’s cup with an audible cling, “cheers” she smiled, as they both took a warming sip, feeling the temporary effect of drinking the caffeine so late in the night. 

               Lena set her cup back down, concentrating on the remaining coffee that sat inside. Kara pushed up her glasses, as she wrinkled her nose, gesturing to Lena’s hands. “What happened to your hands?” 

               Lena’s attention immediately shot to Kara, “Did you realise your elevator was out of service?” 

               “It’s- it wasn’t when I left this morning,” 

               “Let’s just say heels and concrete stairs don’t mix.” Lena laughed, and received a giggle from Kara in return. Her hands had hurt more than she would have allowed Kara to know, and were briefly relieved by the warmth of the coffee cup. 

               Kara’s eyes darted around the apartment, “I’ve got a first aid kit around here somewhere,” Lena watched as Kara stood and padded along to the kitchen, standing on the tip of her toes to look in each of the cabinets. She heard Kara mumble something to herself, and saw her go into the bathroom, to return holding a small red first aid kit. “Here!” Kara smiled as she walked back to Lena, a triumphant tone encompassing her voice. Kara sat and opened the first aid kit, gesturing for Lena to bring her hands closer, which she reluctantly did. She tore open a packet of the antiseptic wipes, and gingerly cradled Lena’s right hand, delicately cleaning her palms that began to bleed at Kara’s interruption. Lena winced at the sting of the antiseptic, jolting her hand from Kara. “Sorry,” Kara smiled, reassuring Lena. 

               “I’m good.” Lena replied, watching Kara carefully work, the crinkle above her nose appearing as her face became flustered with concentration. 

               After cleaning Lena’s left hand, Kara applied a small gauze with antiseptic cream to both, taking strands of the medical tape from the kit to keep the gauze in place. “How did you get so good at this?” Lena asked. 

               “Eliza mainly. I was always so worried about people that were hurting, I heard everything when I was younger; the cries, the laughter, you name it.” Kara packed the kit away, zipping it closed as she pushed it to one side of the table, “So, one day, she took me to the hospital she worked at and following that, it was every couple of days during the summer when she was working. Alex often had some science camp when we were younger, so for a few weeks I just followed the nurses around, really.” 

               Lena smiled, “you never told me that.” She had remembered being told of Kara’s summers in Midvale, the days her and Alex would spend at the beach, wandering through the small red-bricked streets, but she was grateful to hear more of Midvale, and silently willed Kara to continue. 

               “There was no reason for it,” Kara quickly replied, hating to have Lena's pain be a reason to talk about how she had spent one summer. 

               There was a slight lull in their conversation, with each woman concentrating on the drinks in front of them. For a moment it had seemed like no time had passed, there was laughter and genuine smiles, and for a single fleeting second, they both had the ability to forget what had happened. Lena had forcefully reminded herself of the real reason she was here to see Kara. “So...” Lena started. 

               “So,” Kara repeated, meeting Lena’s eyes. 

               “Tell me everything,” Lena breathed, reminding herself that she didn’t want to pry completely into Kara’s past, “everything I _need_ to know.” 

               Kara inhaled a sharp breath, now was the time she had continuously braced herself for, “My name is- was- Kara Zor-El," she fiddled with her hands, “as you know, I was born on Krypton... in what would have been 1966 here.” She looked up to Lena, who was studying her intently, “Krypton was dying, it was becoming uninhabitable and completely unstable.” Kara continued, “I was thirteen when I was sent away by my parents,” she sighed, “They sent me off in a pod, toward Earth, to look after my younger cousin, Kal-El, and they told me I’d have all of these abilities due to the yellow sun-” 

               “Did you have a different one on Krypton?” 

               “It was red, we called it Rao. Honestly, I was pretty much like any normal person when I lived on Krypton.” She took her eyes away from Lena, remembering how content she had been, and how much she missed it. Kara quickly reminded herself that she wouldn’t be here without Krypton’s past, she certainly wouldn’t have met Alex or Eliza, and definitely not Lena. It was difficult to remember what her life was like, but her life now was too important to dwell on the past. “When Krypton virtually exploded, debris hit the pod I was in and I ended up in the Phantom Zone, virtually asleep for twenty-four years, where no time passes and nothing moves.” Kara sat upright, and whispered to herself, “Twenty-four years completely alone.” Lena wasn’t quite sure if Kara had intended for her to hear that, to hear her voice break when she remembered that she was alone, to hear and see a fall in Kara’s usually optimistic behaviour, but Lena quickly thought of what Kara needed to hear. 

               “They only wanted to keep you safe,” Lena interrupted. 

               Kara let out a deep breath she had been holding, “Yeah. Well anyway, the pod eventually made it to Earth and Clark-” 

               “Clark _Kent_?” Lena asked, making no attempt to hide the surprise in her voice from Kara. 

               “Clark Kent.” Kara nodded. 

               “He’s Superman?” 

               Kara made a note in her mind to tell Lena about Clark one day. “His name was Kal-El, but he prefers Clark,” Lena nodded allowing Kara’s words to fill gaps in the story she had lived, “it all adds up, doesn’t it?” Kara asked. 

               Lena thought of the first time she had met Kara, in her new office in what would be renamed L-Corp when she had arrived in National City. She smiled to herself remembering how the woman had immediately understood her ambitions to stand alone and not be tied to her last name. She remembered the words Clark had spoken, to hear him insist on the ‘Luthor’ name as he spoke to her. The first time she had first been saved by Supergirl - Kara. “It really does- sorry for interrupting you.” 

               “No, don’t apologise to me...” the ghost of a smile appeared on Kara’s lips, “He found me and took me to live with the Danvers’, they had helped him when he was younger, to become used to his powers and all that and that’s when I met Alex, too.” 

               Lena’s voice was near a whisper, she had so many questions, but most importantly, she cared about Kara’s wellbeing, “How did you- how did you possibly manage to live with all of that?” 

               “I was terrified, it wasn’t easy, but-” Kara paused, remembering the hardships she had faced, including the death of her friend Kenny, that had ultimately brought her and Alex closer. She had decided that Lena didn’t need to know _everything_ , and Lena had subtly reminded her of that earlier on for which she was immensely grateful for. Maybe one day, she thought, one day she could tell Lena everything but today, only the important things really mattered. “I owe everything to Eliza, Jeremiah and Alex,” Lena nodded, “they gave me a family when I needed one, and didn’t turn me away.” Kara’s eyes began to prick with tears, “My parents left me,” her breathing hitched, “I always felt kind of... kind of guilty, you know?” she pushed a strand of her blonde hair behind her ear, “My entire life I thought it was just me but-” Kara’s voice lowered, “yeah, whatever.” She took a small sip of her coffee, “I started to have panic attacks, and I became claustrophobic, it was hard,” Kara’s attention stayed with her coffee, “I lost everything that day.” Lena nodded, knowing too well what it was like to lose people she loved. “My whole perception of my family changed, and the lies that surrounded them were-” Kara sniffled, fighting back tears. 

               Lena was eager to take Kara’s mind away from her thoughts, and decided that small questions could pull her back, “Do you still have panic attacks?” 

               Kara corrected herself where she sat, remembering her recent panic attack, she hated the feeling of complete vulnerability that she had associated with them, “Not often-” 

               “Do you still see yourself as Kara Zor-El?” 

               “She’ll always be a part of me but I’m Kara Danvers.” 

               “Do you miss it?-” Lena gave Kara a searching look, “Krypton, I mean.” 

               “Krypton’s a whole other life. Home is here. Home is where my loved ones are… my friends, my family. Earth is home, and I can only do as much as I can to protect it and everyone here,” she smiled, realising what Lena was doing, “I wouldn’t be Kara Danvers without Earth.” Kara rose, picking both of the mugs up to Lena’s surprise, “Come on, it’s more comfortable here,” walking toward the sofa, with Lena following. Kara placed both of the mugs on respective coasters in front of each of them. They settled on separate sides of the sofa, with Kara sitting with her legs crossed, and Lena bringing one of the cushions to her lap to rest her hands. 

               “What about your mom?” Lena asked, “She was here, wasn’t she?” 

               “She lives on Argo City, the last remaining city of Krypton. That was where our family lived, too.” Her eyes narrowed at her own thoughts, “Seeing her… knowing she was alive was terrifying. I mean- I was elated, of course, but after everything, there was a sort of resentment, I felt like I had to...” Kara’s words trailed off, she didn’t know herself where her words were leading, and she was unsure of whether she wanted to say everything that was there. 

               Lena eagerly changed the subject, “and your father?” 

               “Our parents are rarely the people we think they are,” 

               Lena didn’t pry into Kara’s riddle, “I guess you’re right.” She looked down at her hands, “Reign,” Kara looked at Lena, “did you know Sam was Reign?” 

               ”Only when you did... If you want to tell her, I’m more than happy for you to do that.” Kara responded. 

               “No, that’s not my place, and she’s just about getting back to normal after everything that happened,” Lena’s hand went to her neck, rubbing the skin that was exposed by the shirt she was wearing, “When I saw you fall from that building, I thought you had died,” her voice was near a whisper, “well, Supergirl,” Lena corrected herself, “which is kind of the same-” 

               Kara smiled, “I’m still here.” 

               Lena reached her hand towards Kara’s, “I’m glad.” 

               Lena didn’t say anything else and her face was unreadable. “D- do you hate me?” Kara asked. 

               “I-” she inhaled a sharp breath, it was a sobering question from Kara, “I hate what you’ve done. I hate how you’ve lied to me. I hate how you would do it again in a heartbeat...” Kara allowed her to continue, “you could’ve killed Sam,” She thought, Lena didn’t know what she would have done without Sam, and Kara all the same, but they were both here, and for now, that was enough, “and I hate how you could think I would ever hurt you.” 

               “And me?” Kara interrupted, desperate to know where she stood. 

               “It’s the lies, Kara.” Lena shook her head, “People have lied to me my entire life, I don’t need that from my friends too.” 

               “I understand.” Kara responded, her voice devoid of any tone. 

               Lena turned toward her friend, “Kara- you could’ve told me,” 

               “I thought- I thought I was keeping you safe, people would’ve used it against you if you had known.” _Lex_ , Kara thought, he could have easily tried to hurt Lena again, to try and end her life and Kara knew the world would be a darker place if that were to happen. 

               “I would never let anyone use that against me.” She looked up, her own eyes burning with tears, “You thought I would really use kryptonite against you?” 

               “I- I don’t know what I was thinking.” Lena was deep in thought, running Kara’s words through her mind, it was a lot to hear. She could have never predicted such awful circumstances for Kara, and she wanted more than anything to pull her friend into a hug. Kara interrupted Lena’s overwhelmingly loud thoughts, “Where do we go from here?” 

               “I don’t know if... if I want anything to do with you,” Lena mindlessly replied, momentarily shocked at her own honesty. 

               Kara retracted her gaze from Lena, “right-” 

               “I can’t be friends with someone who doesn’t trust me, and someone who’s lied to me... two years, Kara. You’ve had _two years_.” 

               “I know, but-” Kara cut her own words, realising any type of explanation would be unjustified, “I trust you with my life, Lena.” 

               “I trust you too... But-” Lena thought to herself, her eyes finding their way to the blonde woman and for a moment she saw Kara fold in on herself, thinking the worst, “But, I’ve lost so many people and I don’t want to lose you.” 

               Kara’s eyes sparkled, as she released the breath she was holding, “You never would,” 

               “Why didn’t you tell me?” It was a simple question, and one Lena needed an answer to more than any of the other questions she had asked. She knew there was more to what she had thought, and she didn’t want to be told that it was because her friend couldn’t trust her, or that there was something worse behind it. 

               “Almost all of our friends knew, and then there was you. There was no barrier with them, it was Supergirl and Kara Danvers, not one or the other.” She let out a sigh, “You never asked me to be anyone else other than Kara Danvers... for once I didn’t have to be the hero, and that mattered more to me than anything else.” 

               Lena leaned closer to the blonde who sat on the opposite side of the sofa, “That’s where you’re wrong,” Kara met Lena’s eyes with a quizzical look, “I’ve told you before, Kara Danvers is _my_ hero.” 

               Kara’s face turned a bright shade of pink, and she could barely hide her huge smile from Lena. She had often been praised for being Supergirl and saving others on a regular basis, but Kara Danvers had rarely been called a hero. She remembered the day Lena had first said it, and it meant more than she could explain to hear Lena repeat those words. “Let’s start again,” a determined smile danced on her lips, “Kara Danvers- part time reporter, part time superhero, best friend of Lena Luthor.” she held out her hand to Lena. 

               Lena shook Kara’s hand. “Lena Luthor, CEO and scientist...” she paused and chewed on her lower lip, looking at Kara’s expectant eyes, “best friend of Kara Danvers.” 

               Lena placed the cushion she had on her lap onto the floor and moved closer to Kara. She held her recently bandaged hands out and reached toward Kara’s face, “Can I?” Lena retracted her hands almost immediately as Kara took her glasses off; hearing Lena’s rhythmic heartbeat skip a beat. Lena smiled, Kara often had a certain light in her eyes when she would look at Lena, and it had taken that look alone for Lena to know she could trust her when they were becoming friends, _I should have known_ , she thought. “There’s that look,” 

               “What look?” Kara's eyes met Lena's. 

               “The look that screams Kara Danvers, a million stories waiting to be told and her complete trust and belief in me... a pair of glasses can’t hide that look.” Lena had momentarily cursed herself for not realising it sooner. 

               Kara’s hand had gone to fiddle with the glasses on her face that weren’t there, to which she brought her hands back and folded them in her lap, “You’re my friend, I can’t look at you any other way.” 

               Lena smiled, “Do you keep your suit with you? I always thought it was kept in a bag or-” 

               Kara quickly took off her sweater and unbuttoned her shirt, revealing the El crest on her chest. 

               “Ah, so that’s how you do it,” Lena pointed to the slightly exposed crest on Kara’s chest, “what does it stand for?” 

               “It’s the House of El crest, a sort of coat of arms. It means El mayarah in Kryptonian, which translates to stronger together; our family phrase” she buttoned up her shirt, “The ‘S’ shape also means hope.” 

               “Hope,” Lena repeated, allowing the word to dance in her mind, “I like that,” Lena folded the legs of Kara’s glasses and handed her the glasses back, “You don’t need them, do you?” 

               “They’re lined with lead,” Kara put the glasses back on, “Jeremiah got them for me when I was younger, I can’t see through it, so it helps me have some sort of normality.” 

               “I didn’t know that,” Lena had felt grateful to hear more of Kara’s past, it didn’t change the way she had thought of her, she still saw her as her best friend, except she understood her and the reasons behind her actions a little more. She reached to her coffee cup, to take a sip of what was left. 

               Kara peered over the top of her glasses at Lena, “Can I ask you something?” 

               “Of course,” Lena replied, sitting upright, as she wondered where Kara’s question would lead. 

               “What’s going on at L-Corp?” 

               “I really have no idea, there was no planned announcement from me, especially nothing regarding you,” she spun her empty ceramic cup between her hands, “were you worried about something?” Lena was slightly worried too, she had always been ahead of everything at work, and to have to hand control over to someone else terrified her. She trusted Sam but she reminded herself that when she was back to work after the holidays, she needed to know where L-Corp stood, and ultimately her own standing as CEO of the company. 

               “When you found out-“ Kara picked at the blue knitted blanket draped over the sofa, “cards on the table, I thought you were going to-“ 

               “To tell everyone who Supergirl was?” Lena finished, slightly taking the sting away if she were to hear it from Kara. 

               Kara hated that she had thought it, even just for a moment, “Part of me-“ 

               Lena’s brow furrowed. It hurt her again to hear that Kara could have believed or even thought she would really go out of her way to hurt Kara and ultimately ruin the life she had built for herself as Kara Danvers. “I would never do anything like that, even if I hated you, I could never hurt you.” 

               “I know.” Kara felt grateful to have been able to be open with Lena, to look her in the eye and tell her the truth, to finally have the opportunity to explain herself. It wasn’t enough, she thought. It would take a lot more for her and Lena to reach a place where they had been but it didn’t matter. Lena had given Kara another chance, and more than anything, Kara promised herself to keep hold of that chance and not let Lena regret her decision. 

               “Thank you for talking with me,” Lena smiled. 

               “Thank _you_ for listening,” Kara smiled back. 

               Lena yawned, a small sound escaping her mouth as she tried to cover it with the palm of her hand. “Tired?” Kara asked, following Lena’s gaze to the door. 

               “A little,” Lena sat upright, “I better go.” 

               A part of Kara didn’t want Lena to leave, and she could see that her friend didn’t want to go home either, “You can stay if you want, it’s pretty late.” 

               Lena smiled, grateful for Kara’s suggestion, “I’ll take the sofa,” 

               Kara stood, taking the empty coffee cups to the sink, she gestured with one of them as she spoke, “I’ll take the sofa, or you’re on the roof.” 

               Lena protested, “But this is your apartment-” 

               “Exactly, so the bed’s all yours,” Kara padded along to the tumble dryer, removing the clothes she had recently thrown in. She handed them to Lena, “here, they’re still warm.” Lena smiled, and wandered off to the bathroom to change out of the clothes she was wearing into the comfier ones Kara had given her. They had the same smell as the clothes she had taken from Kara’s apartment earlier in the day, reminding herself she needed to return them, and the warmth of them felt incredibly relaxing. After Kara had changed into her pyjamas too, and placed fresh sheets onto the sofa, each of them settled into their respective places in the apartment to sleep. 

               It had taken weeks to reach a place where Lena was somewhat content with her life again, a removal of a certain someone from her life and a much-needed honest conversation with an old friend leading to the return of someone she actually needed. Part of Lena wanted to share some of her own history with Kara, but it could wait, she told herself. Lena reached to turn the light off, “Goodnight, Kara,” she called into the darkness. 

               There was so much more to say, but the night wouldn’t allow them to talk any longer. Kara snuggled into the blankets she had placed on the sofa. She smiled to herself in the night, for now it was enough, and she felt the weight Lena had spoken of leave her too, “Goodnight, Lena.” she called back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you saw what I meant in terms of needing a real conversation between Kara and Lena, I certainly needed to write it more than you could possibly know. Let me know what you thought!  
> Come say hi on twitter, I'm @outislanders


	6. And The Snow Fell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I hope you all had a fantastic Christmas, if you celebrate it, and if not, I hope you had a fantastic day either way!

              Kara woke, blinking the sleep from her eyes as she threw back the blankets, and stretched her aching neck. She reached for the glasses she had left on the coffee table, and placed them on her face, tying her blonde hair into a messy ponytail. The kitchen had been lit by the late winter sun, and Kara fussed over a pot of coffee, leaving it to brew as she fluttered around her kitchen, making breakfast. After cracking eggs into an already hot skillet, she allowed the eggs to fry whilst setting the bread to toast. 

              Lena woke to the smell of coffee and fresh toast, the sound of frying eggs that spat and crackled with hot oil made her hungry. The morning and new beginnings welcomed her to another day. For once, it was a day she craved, she didn’t have to go to work and she felt incredibly grateful for it, which was odd for Lena, but a welcome feeling regardless. 

              Lena sat at the dining table closest to the large square window that allowed the sunlight to be strewn around the room. “Good morning,” Kara placed a plate with two fried eggs in front of Lena, receiving a tired smile in return, “so it’s almost Christmas,” Kara began, walking back to the kitchen. 

              “Yeah...” Lena replied, her smile faltered. She didn’t like the holidays, or the feeling of being alone, which didn’t go hand-in-hand. To Lena, not liking the holidays meant preferring loneliness, but she didn’t like to be alone and couldn’t understand why she would hide away during the festivities. She surmised it was due to being a holiday meant for families, which she lacked. 

              Kara brought the toast and coffee to the table, “What are you doing on Christmas Day?” 

              “I was...” she remembered Sam’s offer to spend Christmas Day at her home, “I have a lot of work.” Lena finished, she preferred to work during the holidays, and more than anything a nagging voice willed her to be alone, despite her own reservations. 

              Kara could barely hide the surprise in her voice, “You’re seriously not going to take Christmas off?” She had expected Lena to join them all at Sam’s. 

              Lena set her fork down, resting her head on her hand, “Well what was your plan?” Kara smiled, “Whatever yours was. I’m not letting you be alone on Christmas.” 

              Lena thought to herself, “Then I guess it’s an early morning, paperwork, pens and an empty building; how does that sound?” 

              Kara paused, she let out a small laugh, “that sounds fantastic,” it didn’t, but she wouldn’t allow Lena to be alone, and if that meant working on a day when everyone else was celebrating with their families, Kara would happily take it, without asking any questions. 

              “I’m kidding, Kara.” Lena laughed along. She smiled, realising Kara would’ve easily missed out on a holiday so she wasn’t alone, it was a small gesture, but it meant so much to Lena. 

              After they had finished breakfast and Kara was cleaning up the dishes, she turned her attention to Lena, raising her eyebrows as she spoke, “I haven’t put my tree up, if you haven’t already realised.” 

              Lena’s eyes narrowed toward Kara as she dried one of the dishes, “Are you suggesting what I think you’re suggesting?” 

              Kara smiled, “You bet I am,” 

              Lena groaned at Kara’s determined smile, and she quickly matched her facial expression with the roll of eyes, “let’s get to work,” 

              “Well…” Kara’s words trailed off. 

              “Where’s the tree?” Lena craned her neck to look around the apartment, she hadn’t noticed a tree the day before and there still wasn’t one where Kara had often kept it in the middle of the apartment. 

              “Funny story…” Kara leaned on the counter as her eyes roamed the apartment, quickly returning to meet Lena’s gaze, “I need to buy it.” Lena nodded, “Okay, I can go home and-“ 

              “No chance, you’re with me.” Kara interrupted, eager to show Lena her favourite Christmas market in National City.

\---

              They had taken Lena’s car to her penthouse, allowing her to change into some warmer clothes whilst Kara waited outside. The car took them to the market which was much closer to Kara’s apartment than Lena’s, and despite the cold, they had decided to walk back to Kara’s once they had chosen the tree. 

              Leaving the warmth of the car, they pulled their coats a little tighter and placed their hands in their pockets to stave off the cold. They walked to the market, the different trees with their varying heights sat in the middle of the square, surrounded by stalls resembling log cabins selling various Christmas themed food and drinks and the some of the most beautiful decorations. The smell of fresh pine filled the air, children wandered around with their families looking for different trees, the sea of red cheeks bitten with cold and bright laughs reminded each of them of the nearing holiday. In the small area that the market was in, it felt less like National City and more like a small town in the middle of the countryside. 

              It was Lena’s first time visiting any type of Christmas market, the usual excuse of work that often overwhelmed her and allowed her to avoid the holidays had gone for a little while, and she was silently grateful Kara had encouraged her to go with her. Even as a child, the choosing and decorating of the trees had always been done by someone else, and was less like a family holiday, and more like a corporate get-together. Kara hadn’t been able to enjoy the holidays last year after Reign had almost taken her life, and she wanted to experience every festive themed activity she could. The air was fresh and the cold burned their lungs with every breath, but it was a welcome cold that burned with joy. 

              Walking next to Kara, Lena noticed the white of her warm breath that fell into step behind them, “I wonder if it will snow,” she mumbled, looking to the grey sky above. 

              “It will be nice if it did.” Kara replied, glancing at the sky too. It hadn’t snowed on Christmas for the past five years in either National City or Midvale, and it was always a welcome sight. She loved being able to watch the snow fall from the sky whilst being wrapped in a blanket as the fire roared. It was a simple moment, but Kara loved it more than anything, and her usual hot chocolate topped with little pink and white marshmallows always made it so much better. 

              “What about this one?” Lena asked, pointing to a tree that was far too tall to fit in Kara’s apartment. 

              “I couldn’t carry that,” Kara laughed. 

              “Of course, you could,” Lena raised an eyebrow, wondering if Kara had caught onto her small joke, she looked around at the trees, “this is more difficult than I thought.” 

              Kara looked around at the stalls, “Peppermint hot chocolate!” Lena followed Kara’s gaze, “Have you had that before?” 

              “Never,” she paused, she hadn’t even tried normal hot chocolate, “do you want some?” 

              “Do you?” Kara asked 

              “Why not?” her voice brightened, “I’ll go get them!” Before Kara could protest, Lena had already left, leaving Kara to choose a Christmas tree but she quickly returned bringing two peppermint hot chocolates with her. They were in red paper cups adorned with large white snowflakes and screamed Christmas. She returned to Kara and handed her one of them, receiving a delighted thank you in return, whilst they got lost in a forest of tall green pine trees. The stall was also selling flavoured spiced tea which Lena bought, swinging a small red bag between her fingers as they walked. 

              Kara let out an elated breath as she took a few sips of the peppermint flavoured hot chocolate, the hint of the peppermint lingering with every sip. “What do you think?” she asked, her expectant eyes peering over the top of her glasses. 

              “It’s nice,” Lena smiled, taking another sip, slightly burning her mouth on the hot liquid. It was much sweeter than she had thought it would be, but the warmth and richness of the overall drink was perfect for Christmas, and she realised why people would often talk about it and eagerly anticipate the holidays for the festive drinks. A wave of warmth surged through Lena as children ran past her whilst she walked by Kara’s side, apologising with wide lopsided smiles, each one missing teeth, to which both women eagerly returned a grin. Her attention quickly shifted back to her friend as she clasped the drink a little tighter. 

              “I’ve got my own recipe for hot chocolate,” Kara smirked, “you’ll have to try it sometime,” she leaned closer to Lena, “it’s _world famous_.” She would forgo the usual cocoa-powder and milk that would be used to speed up the process, and would instead use freshly chopped chocolate, with whole milk and a splash of either vanilla or hazelnut extract, topped with freshly whipped cream and little marshmallows with chocolate shavings, which Kara surmised made all the difference. 

              “World famous?” Lena quizzed. 

              Kara’s own recipe was one of the things she had often brought with her at Christmas, often failing to contribute when her family had needed an extra hand with the dinner, and it was always a welcome sight during the day. “Absolutely.” 

              “This one!” Lena ran over to a tree that looked perfect, placing a hand on her hip. “It looks like the ones you see in movies!” 

              “It’s perfect,” Kara smiled. They had walked in circles looking at the same trees for what seemed like hours, and only seemingly now noticing this one. She quickly paid for the tree and carried it under her arm as Lena admired the other stalls whilst they left the market and headed straight for Kara’s, only now remembering that they were in National City when they had become surrounded by skyscrapers and glass buildings.

\---

              Whilst Kara untied the tree, Lena had put the kettle on, opting to use the spiced orange tea she had found at one of the stalls. Whilst the kettle boiled, she turned the heating up, eager to stave off the ever intrusive cold. Kara placed the tree in between the living room and kitchen. It was one of the main focus points of the room, and it looked perfect in the apartment. “I love it,” Lena smiled, “it looks so beautiful.” 

              “It really does,” Kara agreed. 

              Lena’s eyes narrowed, realising how empty the tree looked, “Have you got any decor-” 

              “I have plenty,” Kara smiled. She walked to her wardrobe and reached to the top shelf to bring a large cardboard box with ‘Christmas Decorations’ written in black marker on the front of the box. It rattled as Kara set it on the floor. She looked up, seeing the box adorned with a blue and green striped ribbon that Alex had tucked away. 

              “Any luck?” Lena called from the kitchen, making the tea for them both. Kara’s attention quickly shifted, for a moment, she thought of taking it the box with her and giving it to Lena, but she forcefully placed that thought in the back of her mind. 

              “Here!” Kara padded back to the living room and placed the box on the floor in front of Lena who was currently fanning out the tree branches to make it easier to place the decorations on the tree. 

              Lena’s attention drifted straight to the box, opening it, “This is great.” she smiled. With Kara’s help, Lena unfurled the endless lengths of lights that Kara had placed in the box, another tangle seeming to appear with each one they had undone. 

              Leaving to switch on a Christmas soundtrack whilst they decorated the tree, Kara smiled, hearing the familiar songs that an unspoken rule had said was reserved for winter. It was another tradition of hers, to play Christmas music when she decorated the tree, something she had always done with Eliza and Alex. 

              “Multi-coloured or gold?” Lena asked, grateful that she had managed to untangle the lights. 

              Kara thought to herself and debated on how she had wanted the tree to look, “Gold,” she replied, opting for a traditional Christmas tree this year. 

              “Gold it is,” Lena smiled, placing the newly untangled string of multi-coloured lights into the box. 

              Kara had brought one of the taller chairs from the kitchen and placed it to the side of the tree, she carefully stepped onto it. Lena passed her the beginning of the wires so that Kara could wrap the top portion of the tree with the golden lights. Once she had done that, Lena walked around the bottom of the tree, carefully laying the lights between the branches, each with an even space for symmetry. Kara sang quietly to the soundtrack she had played, catching Lena’s attention as she sang each part of the duet to _Baby, It’s Cold Outside_ with perfect timing, and Kara’s singing was wonderful as Lena listened to her voice. In the box of Christmas decorations, Kara had varying baubles, different colours and shapes, all relating to Christmas. They had quickly chosen gold and red baubles to match the lights that had been placed onto the tree, the baubles differed between matte and gloss, some with a frosted look. 

              “The star,” Kara began searching in the box of decorations, “here,” she handed it to Lena, “you do it.” 

              “I- no, you do it,” she looked up to the top of the tree, “I won’t be able to reach up there,” 

              Kara shrugged slightly, looking around the apartment and debating whether to offer Lena a boost or the kitchen chair she had used to hang the lights. She quickly brought Lena the chair they had moved to place the baubles onto the tree, and settled it to the side, “You can now!” 

              Lena chewed on her lip, glaring at the top of the tree, “Okay...” she stood on the chair and on the tip of her toes as she leaned forward to fix the star to the top of the tree. Kara’s arm hovered at the base of Lena’s calves, ready to catch her if she had stumbled or needed an extra hand to reach the top. 

              Lena stood upright on the chair, admiring the star she had placed on the tree. Kara offered her hand to a grinning Lena as she stepped off the tall chair, “I think this looks fantastic,” Kara smiled. 

              “It’s great,” she leaned forward to adjust one of the baubles, “I love it.” It was the first tree Lena had decorated and she beamed with pride. 

              “Yeah” Kara smiled, it looked beautiful, and so much better than when she would decorate it alone.

\---

              Once they had finished decorating the tree, they sat on the sofa as Kara switched on the television, hoping to find one of her favourite holiday films. Instead of finding _The Holiday_ or _Love Actually_ , which often played on repeat throughout the holiday season, on almost every channel, she found _Peter Pan_. 

              “Have you seen this before?” Kara asked, secretly hoping Lena hadn’t so that they could watch it together. 

              “Yeah,” Lena smiled, “it was one of the first movies I watched when I arrived at the Luthor’s.” 

              “Really?” Kara asked. 

              “The animated one,” Lena’s eyes lit up, “and I remember Lex was always so welcoming, and he had said that my mother had gone to Neverland to live with the Lost Boys and look after them,” her eyes pricked with tears as she remembered, “he had said that she was doing what she did best and as always, doing good.” It was one of the reasons she had immediately felt so close to Lex, he had the ability to make people feel much better, and in an attempt to ease Lena into the family, he had known exactly what to say to her, following the death of her mother. In Lena’s child-like innocence, she had easily believed him, and both the book and movie held a special place in her heart because of Lex, always having the ability to remind her of her mother. 

              Kara’s arm wrapped around Lena’s shoulder, and for a moment when her posture straightened, she thought Lena would move away. She hadn’t heard much of Lena’s birth mother before, and Lena had always said that her mother had left her when she was younger, to which Kara nodded and understood Lena’s constant hesitations with people throughout their friendship. There was more behind Lena’s story, as there was so much depth to Lena as a person, but Kara surmised it wasn’t her place to pry, and if Lena had wanted to tell her something, she would, and she could only hope to be there when she was needed. “He’s right,” she whispered. 

              “I hope so,” Lena smiled, subtly wiping the tears away that she thought Kara hadn’t seen whilst attempting to lighten her voice, “have you seen it?” 

              Kara quickly answered Lena’s question, eager to change the subject for her benefit, “A few times, this version was released when I actually met the Danvers’ and it was the first cinema here I had visited.” In an attempt to make Kara feel more welcome into their family, Eliza and Jeremiah had taken her and Alex to see Peter Pan, which quickly managed to make her feel happier, allowing a younger Kara to become lost in Disney movies, and the books that had inspired them. 

              Lena quietly sniffled, finding more and more similarities to herself and Kara each time they spoke, “Lex took me to see this version when it was released!” 

              Kara smiled, “Alex showed me the Disney version the following day and I immediately fell in love with all of the movies,” 

              “There’s nothing better than Disney,” Lena agreed. 

              Once the movie had finished, Kara stretched as Lena sat typing away on her phone, “You’re meant to be off work, remember?” Kara interrupted. 

              “No, it’s not work,” she smiled, “I have some Christmas shopping to attend to.” 

              “I was thinking the same thing,” Kara stood, “last minute is always the best.” Lena hovered awkwardly at the door, and for a moment, she wondered whether to hug Kara as she always did before leaving, she quickly decided against it, “I’ll see you later, Kara.” 

              “Bye, Lena.” Kara smiled as she saw Lena out of the apartment. It was the happiest she had seen her friend in a long time, and Kara reminded herself that if she were able to spend Christmas with her friends and Lena again, they would have to celebrate in Midvale. Seeing Lena brighten amongst the festive market reminded Kara of her home and how the whole town hosted large celebrations for the holidays, with markets, and ice-rinks, and Midvale was always covered with festive decorations which she knew Lena would love.

\---

              A few days had passed, and the nearing holiday was quickly approaching, Kara had managed to convince Lena to join her and all of their friends at Sam’s for Christmas Day. Lena went back to Kara’s on Christmas Eve, after receiving a vague text saying she needed help with something for Christmas. After knocking on the door, Kara quickly pulled Lena into her home, her eyes growing wide at the ingredients spread on the counters and Kara dressed in her dark pink apron. 

              Kara grinned, “Sam’s got me on dessert duty, fancy helping?” 

              Lena hesitated, she was not the best at cooking, and wondered if she would have been able to help Kara properly, “If I must.” 

              “How are you with gingerbread?” Kara’s eyes sparkled, hoping Lena would be able to help her with the biscuits as she had already correctly doubted her own ability. 

              “Terrible,” Lena’s eyes followed Kara’s as her face fell, “worse than terrible. I’m horrendous,” her voice lowered to a whisper, “I’ve never even tried it.” 

              “Great. We can be horrendous together.” Kara walked back to the kitchen counters, rearranging the ingredients she had taken out of the cupboard and fridge, “I’ve been watching some shows, and this seems like the easiest option,” her hand rested on the bag of flour, “cake and everything else looks virtually impossible.” 

              After being handed an extra apron from her friend, Lena tied the white apron Kara had given her around her waist, purposely ignoring the questions in her mind regarding the burn marks that had stained it. “I’m ready to get to work,” 

              Kara measured the ingredients out, carefully following the recipe and double-checking everything she had measured, as Lena set the oven to preheat and cracked the eggs into a bowl. After they had created the dough and allowed it to chill, they used varying cookie-cutters to cut the festive shapes for the biscuits, opting for candy canes, stockings, trees, mitts and snowmen. They placed the biscuits onto a tray and into the oven, whilst Lena set the timer. 

              They left the cookies to bake whilst they retreated to the sofa to talk. “What’s that smell?” Lena asked, the smoke from the biscuits began hazing the kitchen. 

              “Not again!” Kara rushed to the oven, pulling the tray of biscuits out and placing it onto one of the counters. 

              Lena followed Kara, laughing as she saw the biscuits, “You don’t think the icing will just cover it up, do you?” 

              Kara examined the biscuits, they had spread and become unrecognisable from the shapes they had originally placed onto the tray, each one had turned a charcoal black. “I don’t think it will,” she picked up one of the biscuits, which looked like a hockey puck, “unless you like to play ice-hockey.” 

              “Let’s try again!” Lena exclaimed, a determined smile encompassing her face. She was pretty sure the next batch would have ended up with the same fate, as neither of them actually knew how to make the biscuits and Kara’s constant watching of holiday cooking shows didn’t help their attempt, and likely wouldn’t help with the next one. 

              Kara nodded, reminding herself it was the first time they had attempted the biscuits, and wasn't going to be completely perfect, “Okay, but we are not leaving this oven, deal?” 

              “Deal.” Lena agreed. 

              They made another batch, following the same recipe they had before, and quickly placed it into the oven. The counters had ended up covered in flour, as did the two women. Kara sat on the floor, carefully watching for the gingerbread to turn into its famous dark golden colour. Lena joined her, studying Kara intensely. She thought of how much time she had spent and lost being angry at Kara. To say she had forgiven her would be untrue, but to say she hated her would be a complete lie. “There’s flour on your face,” she whispered. 

              Kara turned, narrowing her eyes at Lena, the speckles of flour in her dark hair resembled the stars on a clear night. “Well, there’s flour in your hair.” 

              Lena gave a mock gasp, stretching her legs, “Wouldn’t it have been easier to buy these?” 

              “Easier, yes. But nowhere near as fun.” Kara playfully nudged her. 

              Lena thought of what Kara would have told her, and she repeated the first phrase that had entered her mind, “I wonder if us watching them is making them nervous-” 

              Kara turned to Lena, her brow furrowed, “I’ve never thought of that.” 

              Lena crossed her legs and rested her face on her hands “This is more intense than _The Great British Bake Off_ ,” she continued, attempting a British accent, “will it burn? Will the biscuits have a ‘soggy bottom’? Tune in later to find out,” 

              Kara giggled, “I didn’t know you watched that show!” 

              Lena laughed along, “I’ve only seen it a few times!” 

              “Are you kidding me?!” Kara’s voice rose as she turned her attention back to the biscuits. They had burned again, Kara stood taking them out of the oven, “It’s not even a difficult recipe!” 

              “At least they’re done,” Lena interrupted, peeking over Kara’s shoulder. 

              Kara sighed at Lena’s attempt to lighten the mood. “Is there something we’re missing?” She had gone over the recipe again, it had been followed exactly, so Kara examined the oven, “What temperature did it say?” 

              Lena checked the recipe, “three-hundred and fifty degrees,” she nodded seemingly pleased with herself, as she had set the oven. 

              Kara leaned on the kitchen counter, “and it’s been turned up to the highest heat, five-hundred degrees.” 

              Lena’s brow furrowed, “Well how do you actually set the oven? I just turned the dial-“ Lena thought to herself, “I thought it would bake quicker-” 

              Kara giggled, “Lena-” 

              Lena’s eyes widened, realising it was her fault that the biscuits had burned, “I’m so sorry-” 

              “Come here,” Kara placed her thumb in the discarded flour which was strewn on one of the benches and ran a line on both of Lena’s cheeks, subtly resembling war paint. Lena followed suit, and drew the same lines on Kara’s face, both of their laughs filling the quiet apartment. “ _Now_ , we're ready! Okay, let’s try this again.” Kara checked the recipe and read each line, “eggs?” 

              “Check.” 

              “Sugar and flour?” Kara’s neck craned toward Lena who stood on the opposite side of the kitchen bench. 

              Lena poured the carefully measured ingredients into the bowl, “Check, check.” 

              After making sure the spices had been added as well as the baking powder, and butter, they allowed the dough to chill a little longer than they were meant to, getting lost in each other’s words again. They cut the shapes once more, evenly placing them onto the baking tray. 

              “Third times the charm, right?” Kara placed them in the oven, leaving Lena to set the timer once more. 

              They sat on the floor again, not daring to talk to each other in case they had missed the biscuits baking, and Lena’s question about making the biscuits nervous made Kara more nervous than the biscuits. They had used up all of the eggs that Kara had bought, and the store close to Kara’s apartment would have been closed already, so the last batch was their last attempt. 

              Making the icing was the easiest part, and only took two attempts, icing powder and water, creating a perfect icing ready to be coloured and decorated on the cooled biscuits. After placing each in separate bowls and adding drops of food colouring that quickly resembled a rainbow on the kitchen counter, both Kara and Lena rotated colours and piping bags to finish the biscuits. Kara had iced the red on the candy canes whilst Lena followed and iced the white diagonal stripes, and Kara iced the green of the Christmas trees as Lena placed the small red and gold coloured sugar balls that Kara had bought which resembled baubles. Around an hour passed and they had _almost_ thirty-six biscuits after Kara had told Lena that it was necessary for them to run a ‘taste test’ on the gingerbread to make sure they were fully edible, quickly resulting in the loss of two of biscuits.

\---

              Alex and Lena had met outside Kara’s to take Lena’s car to Sam’s for Christmas Day. After receiving a text saying they were downstairs, Kara rushed out of her apartment, carrying the tray of biscuits she had made with Lena the day before. She passed them to Lena as she took a seat next to Alex and shrugged her coat off as she brandished her bright red Christmas sweater with a huge Christmas tree on the front, receiving a groan from the other women which only made her smile more. 

              Once the driver had pulled into Sam’s street, they quickly left the car, and eagerly knocked on the door. “Hi!” Sam’s voice was bright, grateful to see her friends, she pulled each of them into a hug as she welcomed them into her home. Each of them had brought a bottle of wine each, handing it to Sam as they stepped out of their shoes, and placed them to the side of the entryway. 

              “Merry Christmas!” they said in perfect unison, bringing a smile to Sam’s lips. She had heard Lena would come to her home on Christmas Day from Alex, but she didn’t expect her and Kara to arrive together. Sam had thought the fight that Lena had briefly mentioned had been sorted, and she didn’t dwell on it, the overwhelming happiness of the holidays overwriting her thoughts. 

              Eliza sat at one of the kitchen counters, standing at the sight of the three women, “Hi girls,” she pulled Alex and Kara into a hug. “Hi Lena, it’s nice to see you again!” Lena beamed, slightly surprised as Eliza pulled her into a hug too. 

              “It’s nice to see you too, Eliza, merry Christmas.” Lena smiled, there was always a familiar and welcoming quality to Eliza that Lena loved, and seeing her again made her incredibly happy. 

              Sam’s home had been decorated beautifully for Christmas, her tree glittered in the corner of the room, with an angel at the top of the tree that Ruby had made when she was younger, the fire roared, and the fairy lights she had hung up had tied it all together. It felt comfortable, and most importantly, it felt like Christmas. 

              Ruby ran into the kitchen, hugging each of them, as she received a quick high-five from Kara, as she was also dressed in one of her Christmas sweaters. The doorbell rang, and Sam ran out of the kitchen to attend to it. Brainy and J’onn walked in, with a bottle of scotch and wine each. The smiles illuminated the room as they greeted each of the women. 

              They all sat in the living room, as Sam and Eliza attended to the Christmas dinner, declining the help they had been offered as they didn’t the trust the other women enough to help with the food. After removing the food from the oven, Sam placed the turkey onto one of the counters to rest whilst Eliza had placed the vegetables into the ceramic dishes that sat on the benches. 

              “Hey!” Sam scolded Kara and Ruby who had left the living room and were picking at the crispy golden roast potatoes that had recently left the oven, stopping each of them mid-bite. “There won’t be any left if you two keep eating them!” Kara looked at Ruby and the pair immediately burst into laughter, as Kara stole another roast potato and subtly handed it to Ruby with a small smirk as they had been excluded from the kitchen. 

              After loud laughs at terrible Christmas cracker jokes, at some point during lunch everyone had seemed to relax more. Perhaps it was the mix of eggnog and wine that they had drank, or the joy the food had brought them. Whatever it was, the feeling of joy was especially welcomed by every person who sat at the table. 

              “So, Mary Berry, how did dessert go?” Alex asked turning to Kara. 

              “You’ll see,” Kara quipped, walking to the kitchen with Lena. Lena brandished the tray of gingerbread cookies, perfectly iced in multiple colours and shapes, receiving an approving smile from everyone at the table. “Lena helped!” Kara grinned, choosing to ignore that it had taken them two attempts before this and numerous attempts at making the icing to get anywhere near the quality that they had on the tray. 

              “I think these are an excellent example of the gingerbread biscuit variety,” Brainy interrupted, taking a snowflake shaped biscuit adorned with white and light blue icing. 

              “Thanks, Brainy.” Lena replied, attempting to hide her triumphant smile. 

              Kara followed Lena to the kitchen, and gave her a high-five as she helped clean the dishes, after everyone had ate the biscuits “I think that’s one dessert we can cross of our list!” 

              After everyone had helped with the cleaning and drying of the other dishes, they all returned and sat around the dining table, pulling chairs up as Sam lay out a game of Monopoly. Brainy, having never played a game of Monopoly before, had managed quickly managed to buy the most expensive side of the board, and already owned the majority of the utilities, much to Lena and Alex’s disappointment as they lost money in paying Brainy rent each time they travelled around the board. At some point during the game, Kara, who had been given the position of banker, and in turn, was in charge of the money, had been accused of cheating to which she unwillingly stepped down from her role and handed the money to J’onn. 

              “It’s snowing!” Ruby called, taking everyone’s attention away from the board game, as they all rushed to the window. 

              “It’s beautiful. I can’t remember the last time it snowed on Christmas.” J’onn gushed, his eyes roaming the window watching the flakes fall. 

              Once everyone had realised Brainy had won, they had set up a game of Jenga on the dining table, dividing into teams with one being Sam, J’onn, Eliza and Lena, and the other team Kara, Alex, Ruby and Brainy. 

              The tower was close to falling, and had too many blocks on the top compared to the bottom, where gaps quickly appeared, and most definitely required a delicate approach. It was Kara’s turn, and she slowly walked around the dining table, stopping to extend her hand toward the tower, “Don’t you _dare_.” Alex warned Kara, watching as she decided on which piece to remove from the tower. Ignoring Alex, Kara pulled one of the blocks, resulting in the rapid destruction of the tower, much to the other teams' cheers and Alex’s glare. 

              A few more rounds of Jenga followed, and the scores had ended in Sam, J’onn, Eliza and Lena’s favour, which ended with them being able to have the first round of mince pies that Alex had warmed in the oven for the winners. They sat around the living room, whilst the fireplace warmed them, and the wood cracked, talking and laughing as the snow fell. 

              Lena caught Kara’s gaze, gesturing with her head toward the kitchen. She got up from the sofa and walked to the kitchen, with Kara quickly following behind her, fiddling with her glasses as she stood. After Lena had poured them a cup of warming mulled wine, her voice lowered, “Can I talk to you for a minute, Kara?” 

              Kara nodded, and followed Lena out onto the deck of Sam’s home, each with a cup of warming mulled wine. 

              “What’s up?” Kara asked, attempting to hide the worry in her voice. 

              Lena turned, unable to hide her smile, “I wanted to give you something,” 

              “We said no presents-” Kara attempted to protest, remembering that they had all decided against presents, surmising that the presence on each of them on Christmas Day was more than enough. 

              “It’s not a big thing,” Lena handed a small box to Kara, which was wrapped in white paper, adorned with a small red ribbon. 

              Kara’s face lit up, attempting to hide her joy, “You didn’t need to-” 

              “Open it,” Lena smiled, gesturing to the box. 

              Kara carefully unwrapped the gift, delicately untying the ribbon as she did so. She opened the box and inside was a small golden thimble on a thin golden chain. It resembled the thimble from the movie they had watched together earlier in the week. “Lena! Thank you, How did you-” 

              “I had a little help... from Alex,” Lena replied, her face telling Kara what she needed to know. Kara quickly realised who Lena had been texting after they had finished watching the movie, and whose present Lena had rushed to buy. 

              “Wait here,” Kara quickly walked back into the kitchen, momentarily grateful for the warmth inside, and took her gift from her coat pocket to bring to Lena. She walked back onto the patio, handing Lena the present she had bought for her, “I got you something too,” 

              Lena smiled, knowing there was no point in protesting with Kara like she had already tried. “Thank you,” she unwrapped the gift, and opened the box, which was a white gold acorn charm on a thin white gold chain. “How did you know?” 

              “Alex,” Kara smiled. 

              Each one was reminiscent of the _Peter Pan_ movie they had watched together earlier in the week. In the movie it resembled the kiss that Wendy had tried to give Peter, and instead had given him a thimble, to which she naively received an acorn in return and kept around her neck to remind her of the kiss. To some, it resembles the beginning of ‘true-love’ and hidden kisses, to others, a friendship and the love that surrounds that friendship entirely, which is the reason they had bought each other the physical manifestations of the metaphor. Despite their previous reservations, their friendships had meant more to each of them than they were able to say. 

              “Here,” Lena took the necklace she had given out of the box, placing it on Kara’s neck and standing on the tip of her toes as she secured the necklace with the catch. 

              Kara followed suit and placed the necklace she had given Lena on her neck, as Lena held her hair up to allow Kara to secure it. “I love them both,” she smiled. It was one of her favourite Disney movies, and reminded her of how her life began with the Danvers’, and now, her best friend, Lena. 

              “I do, too.” Lena smiled in return, it reminded her of Kara, and much more, it meant so much that Kara had thought to ask Alex’s help to buy her the necklace too after seeing the movie. It reminded her of the beginnings of her life with the Luthor’s when all was seemingly well, and in turn, reminded her of her mother. Lena leaned on the patio fence, clutching her warm cup of mulled wine, “I forgot how much I loved Christmas,” 

              “Really?” Kara asked, barely hiding the surprise in her voice, she had always loved Christmas and it had always seemed like one of the best holidays to her. 

              “When my mom d- without my mom, I just stopped caring for the holidays.” Kara stood and walked over to Lena, “Lillian always had these extravagant parties, loads of people all dressed to the nines but I always craved something more intimate, with people I loved and people who loved me.” 

              Kara made a wide gesture with her cup of mulled wine, “Look around, Lena. Everyone here loves you.” Lena smiled, Kara’s words reminded her of what James had told her, that he was the only one who cared for her, but again he was wrong. The people on the other side of the wall cared for her and the friend she stood with cared for her too. 

              “I’ve had a great week,” Lena smiled as she delicately brushed the fresh powdered snow from the top of the fence, watching it fall and gather on the grass below. Her dark hair fell about her face when she looked out onto the yard of Sam’s home, seeing the remnants of stars littering the sky that had become obscured by the near city. It was true, she had, the moments had been filled with laughter and the silences filled with smiles. It was only in the silence that her mind had wandered to her friendship with Kara. 

              It had been a while since Supergirl had been needed by National City, and a small part of Kara dreaded the day she would have to wear the suit again, and either fly past Lena’s office or be seen by her like that. Even with her friend knowing the truth, she had only seen Kara as Kara since she had been told. “I’m glad.” the corner of Kara’s mouth turned into a smile, for now, it was Christmas, and she reminded herself that reality could wait another day. 

              After a quick hug, they walked back into the living room, taking their places by the warming fire. For a moment they thought of what they had missed, but each of them was quickly welcomed by the laughs of their friends, catching each other’s gaze every so often and smiling at the sight of the necklace that fell perfectly on each of their necks. Whatever the feeling that Christmas had always brought, the feeling of love and happiness that was so often talked about, on that day, it had definitely found its way into Sam’s home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This holds a really special place in my heart, it was how I spent Christmas with one of my best friends (who became my first gf and let’s say it didn’t end well lmao, teenage me was living the dream ://) and her family so it really means a lot to me!  
> Let me know what you thought and how you've spent the holidays (if you want) I love Christmas!!  
> Come say hi on twitter, I'm @outislanders


	7. Whilst The Bells Rung Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!! I've been ridiculously busy with university but Happy (really late) New Year!
> 
> I wrote this back in January and then ended up on a field trip abroad and full of summative assignments and I've been updating it ever since. There was also a little note to you guys too that I've had so here's that - although it was meant for January, so please ignore the late timing!
> 
> I hope you've all had a fantastic New Years. If you’ve had a tough year, welcome to midnight, new beginnings, new opportunities and new people await you. I know it can be daunting seeing everyone talk about their happiness with the closing year and their hopes for the new one, but remember you’re doing great. Everyday you wake up in the morning or evenings is a day that you’re doing enough. Waking up is enough and being here is enough. So to you, I say welcome to 2019, whatever you’re searching for, I promise you’ll find it. If not, just keep going, as Miss Katie McGrath once said, “hold on, your life is gonna be golden”.

               Christmas had ended abruptly, much too early for any of Sam’s guests to leave the comfortable silence that had mingled with the warmth from the fireplace. In the wake of the holiday, the snow that had fallen had quickly become a distant memory, turning into slush on the side of the road that would soak into the shoes of people hurrying to work, whose minds had already forgotten the holidays and now focused back onto their versions of normality. The speeding lives passing by as many filled their time working whilst waiting for the next holiday, they could lose themselves in. Storms had followed the light fall of the snow they had experienced on Christmas, bringing heavier snow and howling winds that broke through the sounds of rain hitting pavements and buildings throughout National City.

               Kara had spent the majority of the time working, she had gone straight back to CatCo on Boxing Day, knowing Lena would be doing the same. Although there wasn’t much or any news that needed full media coverage, it was an excuse for Kara to be out of the house, with the hope that Lena might stop by before the new year. Her duties as Supergirl had been keeping her occupied during the time she had to herself too. With the storms and endless movement of people, there had been more accidents on the road, as well as people going out in their cars and becoming stranded due to the unexpected road conditions; all of which Kara was somewhat grateful for, giving her more of an opportunity to keep busy.

               Much like Kara, Lena’s work was unnecessary yet time consuming. She had filled in the time up until the new year finalising the paperwork that would be needed for the incoming tax year, as well as organising the current year’s financial papers into a chronological order to be shelved. Lena had phoned Sam following the Christmas Day that they had all spent together and told her that she had broken up with James. It seemed to Lena to be a big step that she was taking, as she had truly thought that she loved him, and he loved her. She reminded herself that she didn’t _need_ to be in a relationship, and if she were to genuinely fall in love with another person, it would have to be _real_ , and it would be something she wanted to last. Sam was more than supportive, as Lena had expected her to be, and she still suggested that her friend take a break, which Lena craved more than anything.

\---

               Returning to her apartment to catch up on writing, Kara unceremoniously dumped her bag on the wooden table in the kitchen and opened her laptop. Kara loved writing, she would make small stories in her head, sometimes poems and lyrics to match songs she had listened to played on the piano, or she would create whole lives for people passing the large window as she drank coffee in her favourite café. _Wild stories_ , she remembered them being called. On Krypton, Kara loved to share her stories with anyone who would listen but once she had arrived on Earth, a teacher had called them _wild stories_ , she stopped sharing and wrote for herself. It was a way to write the good that she wanted to remember or a way for her to work through what was troubling her.

               Kara’s phone lit up on the table next to her laptop, the dull screen showing the face of her friend, allowing her to know who was calling. “Hey, Sam.”

               _Sam’s usual upbeat voice was a welcome sound. “Hi, Kara. How are you?”_  
“I’m good, thanks, I’m just catching up on some work. What about you?”

               _“Good,” Sam paused as Kara waited for her to continue her trailing words, “and I’m good too, thanks.”_

               Kara briefly waited for Sam to continue the conversation, wondering if there was anything that she was able to do for her friend, or if she wanted to stop by. Kara’s mind was still in the holiday spirit, feeling somewhat nostalgic for the Christmas Day that had only just passed and she wanted to thank Sam again, “I was wanting to thank you for having us over at Christmas. I had a great time.”

               _“I’m glad,” the smile in Sam’s voice was evident through the phone, “I was wondering what you were doing on New Year’s Eve.”_

               “I’m seeing Alex, and we have a date with pizza and a pint of ice cream,” Kara replied proudly, she hadn’t had the opportunity to spend the kind of time with her sister as she would have had liked, with life easily getting in the way when she wanted it to slow down the most.

               _“How does a party sound?”_

Kara shook her head, stopping to realise that she was actually talking on the phone and Sam couldn’t see her, “You’ve just had all of us over a few days ago, there’s no way I’m-“

               _“Not at mine, at Lena’s.”_

Kara’s brows furrowed, Lena had said she would spend New Year’s Eve working, as she often did; filing the year’s expenses and planning for another year. “I thought she didn’t celebrate New Year’s?” ****

_“I have a key,” Sam bit the bottom of her lip, the mischievous tone of her voice finding its way effortlessly through the phone._  


               “Are you suggesting we break into her penthouse?”

               _“Wait, what?” Sam giggled, “No! I was thinking a small get-together; pyjamas, all the food you can eat, and let’s not forget all the alcohol you can drink!” she continued, “Besides, it’s not breaking and entering if you have a key, it’s only entering.”_

               “I don’t know…” Kara’s words trailed off as she thought, “Won’t Lena be upset at us just turning up there?”

               _“We’ll have it all decorated, trust me; seeing her smile so much at Christmas really made me think about how much she’s missed out on.”_

               Kara hesitated slightly, but what Sam was saying was right. Lena hadn’t smiled like that in a while, and she hadn’t allowed herself to genuinely be Lena, and the friend that everyone knew her to be. After listening a little more to Sam’s plan, and agreeing a time and place to buy decorations, they hung up.

\---

               Kara had met up with Sam early the next day to look for decorations at the large supermarket in the heart of the city. It had one of the largest party sections, full of any decorations that they could think of, as well as the opportunity to have some personalised if time allowed.

__

               Sam looked around, “I haven’t bought anything for these before- usually it’s a corporate party that someone else organises.”

               Kara turned to Sam taking her attention away from the endless shelves they passed, “Really? I didn’t know L-Corp did that,”

               Sam shrugged, and leaned onto the handles of the empty trolley that she was pushing, “they haven’t for a really long time, and besides, Lena was rarely there anyway.”

               “Well at least we know she’s going to turn up to this one-“

               “Yeah! It’s at her home” Sam giggled.

               After walking up varying aisles of the store, seeing discounted Christmas decorations, and leftover chocolates, Kara’s mind wandered to the type of parties that she had seen in the movies. “What about a banner?”

               “Good idea! Let’s get a really classy one.” Sam thought aloud.

               Kara gestured wildly with her hands, as she thought, “I’m thinking a 1920’s style banner – and silver, gold and black and white balloons to match.”

               Sam’s eyes widened as she raced to the party section of the store, quickly followed by Kara who wore a matching excited grin.  


               Once they had found the type of decorations that they knew Lena would like, each of them waited for the other to think of something else they would need for the party. “Food!” Kara exclaimed, “We’re going to need food,”

               Sam giggled, “and that’s why you’re here to help”

               “Do you think we should order something in or cook-“

               “if someone else is cooking then definitely.”

               Kara shrugged, “It’s your loss,” her eyes lit up as she thought, “I can get Lena that pizza she likes from Naples-“

               “Naples?” Sam quizzed.

               “Uh, yeah-“ Kara thought quickly, trying to create an appropriate excuse, “th- that new pizzeria from the other side of the city.”

               Sam narrowed her eyes, and shrugged, knowing Kara would be more than aware of any new pizzerias or just about anything to do with food opening and or existing, “Sounds great to me!”

Kara released the breath she was holding, “Well it depends if they’re open on New Year’s Eve, we might have to order from somewhere a little closer”

               “You’re the food expert.” Sam smiled, as she continued, “Alcohol- we definitely need alcohol,”

               “I guess you should’ve brought Alex to help instead.”

              "She would’ve just suggested her favourite brand of beer or whiskey,” Sam pushed the trolley into the furthest aisle of the supermarket, “vodka, gin, whiskey” she continued reeling off the contents of the shelves as she placed them into the trolley, “and for Alex, beer.”

               “Champagne too!” Kara smiled, placing a few bottles into the trolley. Kara was silently grateful that Sam hadn’t asked her which one she would’ve preferred, reminding herself to stop by the bar to pick herself up some alcohol too. “What about mixers?”

               “Yeah we need them too!”

               After they had chosen the rest of the drinks, they went to the checkout where Kara had practically tackled Sam to pay. They loaded the bottles and decorations into the car and Sam had dropped Kara off at her apartment building, as they agreed to meet on New Year’s Eve with everyone else to set-up together. 

\---

               Eliza had been unable to visit National City for New Year’s, due to her commitments at the hospital, but she had promised that she would more than make up for it when she could; and Alex and Kara, although slightly disappointed, knew Eliza would follow through with her promises as she always had. Ruby was at a friend’s home for New Year’s. Sam and Ruby’s friends’ mother had agreed to alternate between the homes during the holiday, and although it would’ve been nice to have Ruby with her during New Year’s Eve, Sam wanted her daughter to be able to enjoy herself, instead of being surrounded by people who weren’t her age.

               Knowing Lena would be leaving for work at around nine in the morning, Sam called everyone and told them to meet at ten. Kara and Sam had bought everyone different types of animal onesies when they went to the store together, a lion for J’onn, a green dinosaur for Brainy, a giraffe for Sam, a kangaroo for Alex, and a light brown puppy one for Kara, as well as a blue unicorn onesie for Lena. Much to Alex’s disappointment and everyone else’s amusement, they were given the onesies once they arrived, and as they unpacked the decorations from Sam’s car, some of them had gotten changed in between.

               Once all of the decorations were unpacked and spread throughout Lena’s penthouse, Sam had called Lena earlier in the day to find out what time she would likely be heading home, using an excuse that she wanted to wish her well for the New Year, as well as an invitation to spend the holiday with her, which Lena politely declined.

               After hearing it would be some time after five, everyone fluttered around the living room, hanging dark banners embroidered with gold saying, ‘Happy New Year’, surrounded by bunches of balloons of every shade of silver, gold, and black and white. The banner was printed in all capital letters, with a golden line-patterned border that screamed _The Great Gatsby_ , which everyone knew Lena would immediately love.

               It was nearing three o’clock and Kara had bought bags of ice from the nearby local market that was practically one of the only stores open, surrounded by a city of closed shutters that told of anticipation and excitement for a fresh start.

               Back in Lena’s penthouse, the final banner was placed, with Sam giving it her stamp of approval. “Okay, bring the left side of the banner down a bit, Brainy,” Sam considered for a moment as both J’onn and Brainy who were stood on chairs, waited for her instruction, “actually raise the right side, J’onn.”

               Alex quickly caught J’onn’s exasperated expression and gave him a quick thumbs up and slight smirk. After taking a break much to Sam’s dismay, they gathered in the living room admiring the decorations they had all helped put up. Bottles of champagne were placed into containers awaiting the ice that they would fill the buckets with once it edged closer to five o’clock, and Kara had hidden her own alcohol from the alien bar in one of the spare bedrooms.

               “When Lena comes in, we need to be hiding, okay?” Sam said, examining the faces of each of the friends that sat in front of her.

               “And then what?” Brainy asked.

               “And then we jump out!” Sam exclaimed.

               Brainy furrowed his brow, “I’m slightly confused. Is the aim of our mission to frighten her?”

               “We’re surprising her, Brainy!” J’onn gleefully explained.

               Sam smirked as she stood, “Everybody behind the furniture-“

               “what- why?” Alex asked

               “We’re doing a test run.” Sam smiled.

               “You’re kidding?!” Alex groaned

               “No. It has to be perfect,” Sam extended her hand to Alex, who took it with rolled eyes as the corners of her mouth curved into a smile that matched Sam’s, “come on.”

               “I’ll pretend to be Lena, and everyone has to jump out when I switch the lights on, everyone got that?” Sam was out of the penthouse before anyone could object or ask any questions.

               After exchanging confused glances and nods, they were spread throughout the living room, hiding behind the large white leather sofas.

               Sam unlocked the door and reached for the light switch, stopping once she heard Kara’s laughs echo through the apartment, “Kara!” Sam exclaimed.

               “She’s going to make us keep doing this, be quiet Kara.” Alex scolded.

               “Okay!” Kara replied sheepishly, giggling to herself as Alex turned away, “I will.”

               Sam went back outside to try again. When she opened the door, the lights were off and the penthouse was perfectly still, and it seemed as if everyone would jump up at the same time, a part of Sam was grateful for the opportunity that they had, to give Lena a great New Year’s Eve party and contribute to what’s been a great winter holiday.

               After Sam had switched the lights on, illuminating the penthouse, Alex, Kara and J’onn jumped up, exclaiming “Surprise!”, followed by Brainy a few seconds later, with a huge toothy grin as he followed suit.

               “The only surprise is that Kara didn’t laugh that time!” J’onn quipped.

               The irritation was visible on Sam’s face, as Alex and Kara let out a small giggle, “Once more-”

               When they were crouching behind the sofa waiting for Sam to walk back into the penthouse, Kara immediately thought of something funny to say, “H-“ she began, and quickly quietened at a nudge from Alex.

               “One, two, three” Alex counted down for each of them when she heard the click from the lock.  


               “Surprise!” They jumped up in perfect unison, once the lights had been switched on, and the joy and relief was evident on Sam’s face.

               “Perfect.” Sam beamed, quickly interrupted by her phone, “Lena says she’ll be home soon, and she’ll call me when she gets there.” She quickly looked at the time on her phone, “It’s almost five- stations everyone!”

               “I’m gonna put my onesie on!” Kara called out, walking out of the living room.

               “Be quick, Lena will be here soon!” Sam called back.

               Kara had rushed into one of the bedrooms towards the back of the penthouse. It matched the rest of Lena’s home, a stark white floor with a similar coloured bedding. She had spent a few nights in Lena’s penthouse before, each of them usually falling asleep on the sofa during a movie, for Kara to leave early in the morning once the sun had risen, with a quick text once she had returned home. The window was what caught most of the blonde woman’s attention, floor to ceiling glass that would’ve captured every part of the sun’s light and warmth as it would pass during the day. Kara gleefully wriggled her toes on the marble floors that felt like there had been underfloor heating installed because of the sun.

               “Kara!” Her attention was quickly snapped away as she heard her name being called, and immediately replied, telling Alex she was almost ready. There wasn’t many, or any personal mementos in the room or the rest of the penthouse, just small pieces of artwork that didn’t seem to match Lena’s personality, and only added a small break from the overbearing white throughout the whole home. A part of Kara wondered if there were items or photos that Lena had kept in some far-off storage container or if she really didn’t have anything like that. After zipping up her onesie and folding her clothes, Kara placed them neatly on the side of the bed.

               When she went to open the door to go back to the living room to see her friends, she noticed a small photo frame on the top of the drawers. Kara allowed her curiosity to get the better of her and picked up the frame to quickly see the photo. It was a little faded, but the beaming smile of a young Lena was so clear to Kara. The corners of her bright green eyes were crinkling because of her smile, and her dark hair was parted into two braids. In the photo, she held one of her many chess trophies that Kara had helped her place into boxes earlier in the year, and the blonde woman’s mind wandered to their whereabouts, she shook her head, it didn’t matter; as she noticed Lena standing next to a younger version of Lex with a matching smile. Kara gave a weak smile, it was the way Lena had obviously wanted to remember both her childhood and her brother. She carefully placed the frame back onto the top of the drawers and closed the door behind her. 

\---

               Lena left the elevator, her heels clicking along the tiles as she made her way to the door of her penthouse. She hated the echoes and the temporary loneliness that she had grown to associate it with. A New Year, the dark-haired woman thought, the possibility of something else, something more, or the possibility that her year would be the same as the last few years; constant work overwhelming her life. It wouldn’t be like that, she told herself; this year she was single of her own choosing, she had her friends who were her family, and that’s what she reminded herself of. Things were different now, and they had to be, Lena _needed_ them to be.

               She unlocked the door, instinctively reaching for the lights to stave off the overbearing darkness of the empty penthouse.

               “Surprise!” All of her friends had leaped from their hiding places, each of their faces beaming as J’onn and Brainy had been given gold and silver party hats respectively. Before Lena could even react, they all rushed out into the entrance to greet her. “Happy New Year!” They all exclaimed in perfect unison, with shared grins, seeming as if they had magically done it themselves as if Sam didn’t have them practicing this at least ten times.

               Lena stood still for what seemed like the longest time, her huge grin encompassed her face, her eyes wrinkling at the corners as she smiled. It was the first time anyone had thought to really include her in any type of party to welcome in the New Year. To say that she had never been invited would be a lie, but she had often told herself of a harsh reality; that it wouldn’t have mattered if she were to pass on the invitation, as people would enjoy themselves just as much if she weren’t there than if she was. Lena was wrong, she told herself, reminding herself that this was probably one of the first times she had ever been truly wrong, and it felt wonderful. As her eyes roamed the room, meeting the gazes of each friend, they began to water as she blinked back the tears that threatened to overspill and for once, it was the tears of happiness. Lena let out a laugh of surprise, “Happy New Year!” She kicked her heels off and ran along the marble tiles to greet each of them, pulling them all into a hug that required her to stand on the tip of her toes.

               “This was Sam’s doing,” Alex leaned in.

               “I’ll have you know the decorations and food,” Sam smirked, “ _and_ alcohol was with Kara’s help.”

               “I was just there,” Kara laughed, “it was all of us really, with Sam’s idea and _dictatorship_ shall I say.”

               “Kara,” Lena smiled with her head tilting to the side, “it’s good to see you.”

               “Lena,” Kara mimicked, and smiled, she let out a small gasp as Lena pulled her into a hug catching her completely off guard.

               “I love those hats! I hope you have one for me too!” Lena exclaimed.

               “Better,” J’onn started, “we’ve got you one of these too.” He held out a light blue onesie with the face of a unicorn embroidered into the hood, and a rainbow horn.

               Lena smiled, taking the onesie from J’onn, “I love it, you guys look great by the way! I’ll go change so I’m not the odd one out!”

               They spent the majority of time catching up and sharing their hopes for the new year, once they had admired each other’s onesies, they gathered in the living room. At some point, someone had ordered pizza from the only restaurant that was open on New Year’s Eve. “Pizza’s here!” Alex called, bringing five boxes into the kitchen and laying them onto the white marble counter tops.

               Kara’s eyes lit up as she followed the rest of her friends into the kitchen, desperate for any type of food, as she always was. Alex quickly slapped her hand as Kara reached for the first piece of pizza, “Wait!” Alex scolded.

               Sam laughed, “You should know better than to get between Kara and her food,”

J’onn smiled, “even I know that!”

               After they had eaten the majority of pizza, J’onn opened a few bottles of champagne, and handed out the glass flutes before they went outside onto the balcony of the penthouse. Brainy and Kara quickly followed with pizza and champagne in hand, exchanging a quick ‘cheers’ with the pizza, much to the amusement of the rest of their friends.

               It was the last sunset of the year, which would eventually welcome them into the night that thrived on the anticipation of a new year. There was something so different about sunsets compared to sunrises. On cold winter nights, the sky would be embraced by the fading radiance of a winter sun as it fell effortlessly behind the skyscrapers of National City. Tinges of raspberry red and blackcurrant violet chasing one another into the night. A silence had fell amongst the friends that gathered on Lena’s balcony, feeling as if they were the luckiest people in the world to be surrounded by so much love and the beauty of the sky. The gentle winter breeze that existed so high up made their cheeks cold, but their hearts remained warm, or maybe it was the alcohol that they were drinking. Once the sun had given way to a sky of midnight blue and hazy stars, they each returned to the living room, with the presence of a grateful and welcome warmth that swept over them all.

               They had broken out the alcohol earlier in the night once they had eaten, each of them with glasses and bottles of amber liquid, even Kara had her own, that had been hidden in one of the spare bedrooms. The conversation flowed just as easily with liquor, as laughs echoed throughout the penthouse.

               Kara had brought the Polaroid camera from the shelf in her room with her. There was a momentary feeling of nostalgia when she picked it up and collected the packs of film to take with her. She had often found solace in photography, much like the other mediums of art; such as writing, and painting. For Kara, photography had the innate ability to be completely permanent. There was no hiding behind the truths that photos would convey, and equally, the moments they would capture; the happiness that could be evoked from a simple look, a tilt of the head, and a slight smirk, they were able to tell much more than the words that left a person’s mouth ever could. She hadn’t used the camera since she had taken the photo of herself and Lena so many months ago, with life getting in the way, and she was ecstatic to be able to use it again.

               Kara had placed the camera on one of the marble counters and ushered everyone into the living room as she set the timer. She ran back to the laughing group of friends to Lena’s side who giggled and stumbled slightly at Kara placing a gentle hand around her waist to steady herself. They raised their glasses as the flash went off taking a photo of the group of friends.

               Once the photo had been taken, they all huddled around the small Polaroid, patiently waiting for the photo to develop. The photo had been passed around as they laughed at the expressions of each other, some of them mid-conversation, and the others with beaming smiles and glasses held high.

               Alex had taken the camera from Kara, “your turn!” she exclaimed, ushering her younger sister and her best friend together.

               In the photo, Kara and Lena were looking at each other with huge grins.

               Lena stood on the tip of her toes and scrutinised the small polaroid over Kara’s shoulder, “We’re not looking at the camera! Can you take it again, Alex?”

               “Absolutely-” Alex began.

               “No, no, it’s perfect,” Kara looked back down at the photo between her hands, and back to Lena who looked at her with expectant eyes, “okay, one more, but I’m keeping this one!” It was the type of photo Kara loved the most – with a need for perfect expressions, as the feeling that radiated from the small Polaroid was enough.

               After more pictures were taken of each of the friends, they gathered in the living room, talking and drinking, whilst music played in the background.

               “Sam!” J’onn exclaimed, “Brainy was just telling me the origins of the electric light,” Sam walked over, smiling, “he’s all yours,” J’onn whispered in a light tone as he placed a hand on Sam’s shoulder, “good luck!”

               “Have you heard of the theory of human relations?” Brainy began.

               “Wait- J’onn-“ The corner of Sam’s mouth rose in a smirk, as she turned and nodded as Brainy spoke, his words slurring, allowing Sam to know that even drunk, Brainy was most definitely one of the smartest people in the room, not to mention Lena, of course.

               Lena’s balcony, much like her office window, had a beautiful view of National City, and it was the perfect place to watch the fireworks. It was nearing midnight and the alcohol coursing through everyone’s body was keeping them much warmer as they returned to stand outside, bracing the chill of winter.

               “Five,” a quick glance with beaming smiles between friends, “four,” a look down to make sure that there was enough alcohol in the glass that was still being held tightly, “three,” a slight nauseous feeling in the pit of the stomach, “two,” a wonder into what the next year will hold, “one,” a reminder that it didn’t matter, what mattered was right in front of everyone. It was the friendships they had and the endless possibilities that a new year brought. “Happy New Year!” Their voices rang loud into the night as they cheered from Lena’s balcony, and tapped champagne flutes together. Fireworks of every shade of red, gold, purple, green and blue, interrupted them and illuminated the night sky like shooting stars on a clear night. The loud bangs that accompanied them lit up each of their faces as they watched and pointed to the colours that effortlessly illuminated National City.

               Once they had rung in the new year together, more alcohol was poured, and more laughs were shared. There had been a small dance battle between Kara and Alex, with the younger Danvers sister claiming to be the victor, that was deemed cheating due to an unfair advantage by the rest of their friends who were judging, as Kara’s dance moves involved ‘the robot’ and pirouettes she had learned when she was younger. During the early hours of the Monday morning in a city that would usually be asleep, it was only then that everyone had found their respective places throughout the penthouse to fall asleep. Some in the living room, and a few dotted around the spare bedrooms, and one or more in even further obscure places. 

\---

               Lena woke early, the varying strengths of the mix of alcohol she had drank threatening to retrace itself with a fiery path. Her face buried back into the pillow as she pulled the quilt above her head attempting to block the sunlight, that she knew would soon filter throughout the room. She groaned and threw the quilt back, carefully sitting up in an attempt to alleviate the throbbing in her head. It was still dark, the night sky starting to resemble the sea on a day full of storms, with heavy clouds that only parted slightly to allow for an insight into the sky speckled with the remnants of the only stars that were visible in the city.

               Lena reached for the clothes that were still folded perfectly undisturbed on the bed due to its size. She put the lilac knitted cardigan on and pulled it closed, tightly crossing her arms. Lena allowed her dark hair to fall about her shoulders as she walked to the kitchen, seeing her friends asleep on the sofa, she let out a small laugh, and just as quietly, Lena left the penthouse, gently closing the door behind her.

\---

               The blonde woman blinked the sleep from her eyes waking on the white leather sofa in Lena’s living room. She could tell by the ache in her back that it still hadn’t be used very often, with the leather remaining stiff and uncomfortable. A small voice told her Lena had probably bought it because the room would have been somewhat barren without it, and the echoes as she walked around would have been too much for her. Loneliness she thought. The feeling Lena had often attempted to bypass and would pretend didn’t bother her, would ultimately end up drowning her. Kara sat up, and reached for her glasses, stretching her back with an arch and twisting her neck to alleviate the ache, silently promising herself again that she would never leave Lena alone.

               Kara padded along the huge white marble tiles to the kitchen. Filling a glass with the filtered water that Lena had, she admired the view from the window. Dawn had begun to wake the city, with the darkness filtering into light, it’s small glow illuminating the horizon before the sun had appeared, welcoming them into a new year.

               Kara listened for any noise that would allow her to know that someone else was awake, she quickly heard the familiar rhythm of Lena’s heartbeat in a different part of the building and followed the sound to the roof of the penthouse. “Hey,” Kara whispered.

               Lena jumped slightly, tightening her grip on the edge of the wall where she sat. She laughed the small feeling of fear off as she looked to Kara; turning back towards the view of National City, “You scared me for a second,”

               “Nice jumper,” Kara quipped, at the sight of Lena in her purple knitted cardigan and one of her own white t-shirts.

               Lena smiled sheepishly, fiddling with the sleeve of the sweater, reminding herself that she needs to stop taking Kara’s clothes that were more comfortable than her own, “it was on the side of the bed when I woke up-“

               “it suits you.” Kara smiled, leaning onto the stone wall, “It’s beautiful here,”

               Lena nodded and turned toward the blonde woman, the corners of her mouth turning into a smile at the sight of Kara still in her puppy onesie, “I haven’t seen a sunrise in so long.”

               “You’re normally up most nights working though, aren’t you?”

               Lena shrugged, “Blackout curtains tend to throw off any sense of time.”

               Kara sighed, reminding herself that Lena worked too much, and more than anything, needed the time off that she had spoken so lovingly of a few weeks ago. It was all anyone seemed to think of, that Lena needed rest, but each of them knew she couldn’t give herself the opportunity to relax. “Do you want something to drink?”

               “In a minute,” Lena patted the cold stone wall, “sit with me for a while,”

               Ignoring Lena’s refusal, Kara called back as she headed for the door that left the roof, “I’ll go get you one, I’ll be quick!”

               Kara returned to the kitchen, quickly rummaging through the drawers after she had poured another glass of filtered water, finding some aspirin for Lena, that she knew she’d more than likely need. When she returned to both the roof and Lena, Kara handed the cold glass of water to the dark haired woman along with two Advils.

               Lena gratefully took the water and aspirin, “Thank you,” she giggled, “I don’t suppose you need some,”

               “I’ll be fine once the Sun’s up.” Kara told Lena proudly.

               “Well come and wait with me, _Miss solar lantern_.” Lena replied, receiving a giggle from Kara.

               Kara nodded, sitting beside Lena on the edge of the roof, the legs of both women hanging over the side, as Kara swung her legs mindlessly. “Here it is!” Kara gestured with her glass of water, pointing to the sunrise.

               Lena looked out onto the city. For a moment, it seemed like they were the only two people awake in all of National City. The golden light softly caressed the city with a gently ‘good morning’ as the birds ignited into a melodic chorus which filled the silence, there was no beeping from cars with people rushing to work, it was the perfect stillness of a morning.

               As the Sun began to slowly rise, Kara briefly looked at Lena, seeing the illumination brighten her skin, bathing her in a golden hue. For a moment, Lena’s eyes resembled the colour of the sea outside of Kara’s home in Midvale on her favoured summer mornings; a pale green with an icy blue dancing throughout. The kind of colour you would swim out into open water to see and end up drowning in all the same. “Sunrises and sunsets are always so much more beautiful when there’s clouds.” Kara whispered, more to herself than to Lena.

               “Yeah, it’s as if an artist had just taken a paintbrush and managed to throw all these shades of pink and orange together. It always reminds me of cotton candy… and a feeling of hope and endless promise that this new day doesn’t have to be like the last,” Lena smiled toward the city, receiving a look of awe from Kara, as if she had managed to magically place Kara’s thoughts into words. It reminded the blonde woman of a quote she once read – that sunrises could only be fully appreciated by those that have waited in darkness. It was a perfect way, she thought, to describe Lena in that very moment; stepping out of the darkness into the light of a new year, and Kara hoped more than anything that this year could keep up with the light that was Lena.

               The penthouse and its roof had belonged to Lena for two years, and it was only in the first few months of her moving to National City that she had used the roof. She would pace around indefinitely, wondering if she were able to shake off the name that had been cruelly tied to her. The wall of the roof was somewhat short, being a little lower than Lena’s waist. In the beginning, she would walk the wall in circles, barefoot and challenging herself with each step she took. She had found a small comfort in the danger of her actions and in pushing both herself and the idea of self control to the limits. Being on the roof again reminded her of the time she had spent waiting and worrying about what would happen next but for once, she didn’t think of anything else but the sunrise and the moment in front of her.

               “Guess what,” Kara leaned in, interrupting the comfortable, familiar silence that had fallen between them.

               Lena blinked back her thoughts, her attention quickly shifting to Kara, “what?”

               “I-“ Kara tried to suppress her laugh behind a smile where her teeth began to show, “I haven’t even showered since last year,” her laughter once she had delivered the punchline to a joke she said every year was contagious and lyrical.

               The corner of Lena’s mouth rose in a slight smirk, “You are _so_ lucky I haven’t pushed you off this roof.”

               Kara gave a mock gasp, bringing her hand to her chest, “What would happen if I pushed _you_ instead?”

               Lena shrugged, and took a swig of the cold water she had been given, “It’s not a problem, you would follow and catch me anyway.” She thought, _it wouldn't be the first time_.

               Kara nodded, her gaze fixed on Lena whose eyes were closed as she soaked in the warmth of the early winter sun, “Damn right, I would.”

               They appreciated the silence of one another for a little longer. The shadows created by the surrounding skyscrapers were alleviated by the early sun. “Come on,” Lena whispered, “I think everyone will be starting to wake up”

               “Searching for water you mean,” Kara laughed as she swung her legs around to meet the paved floors of the roof.

               Lena took Kara’s extended hands to help herself off the ledge, laughing. “That too!”

               Kara and Lena returned to the inside of the penthouse, the fun and memories of last night speckled throughout the home. Gold and silver glitter littered the floors and stood out clearly against the stark white marble floors that had usually been pristine. It was a reminder of the fun of the past few hours, and the mess didn’t bother Lena, it was sort of nice for her to have a home that needed cleaning, and for once, looked like anyone else’s home in the city. The Polaroid photos that were taken were spread on the kitchen counters and they momentarily looked at them when they passed the marble counters, each of them smiling at the faces of their friends that smiled back through the photographs. As they walked around the apartment, picking glass bottles that clinked together as they put them into the black bin liners, another of their friends woke. Kara and Lena took their respective places at the white marble island in the kitchen, greeting a disheveled looking Sam who was searching for water. The attention of the three women quickly snapped to the corridor, hearing what could only be described as a squeal of surprise.

               Sam groaned, rubbing her temples, “I can’t believe it’s already morning – I need an aspirin, fast.”

               Alex walked out from the hall, rubbing both sleep and surprise from her eyes. She giggled, “Brainy is in the bath,”

               “What?” Sam asked, she let out a small gasp, “Did you see him-“

               “No!” Alex shook her head, “Let’s stop there,” she rubbed the top of her brow, “he’s asleep in the bath.”

               Kara laughed, getting up to get a glass of water for Sam and Alex, as well as some aspirin for each of them.

               “You look so much better than we do,” Sam laughed, thanking Kara for the water.

               Kara shrugged, “I’m a little more tolerant to alcohol, I guess. Way more tolerant than Alex,”

               Alex playfully snorted, “yeah, right!”

               As they sat in different places around Lena’s kitchen and living room, the feeling and promise of a new year began to sink in. It was less about continuing the last year, with previous problems and more about beginning a new chapter of your life. A clean slate.

               “Who wants pancakes?” J’onn asked, striding into the kitchen and tying an apron around his waist.

               “Me!” Kara exclaimed, silently surprised at J’onn’s lack of a hangover, “It’ll be the best meal that’s come out of that kitchen.”

               Lena playfully nudged Kara, a look of mock surprise on her face, “Hey, it’s not like you can complain,”

               “I don’t _claim_ to be good at cooking!” Kara playfully teased.

               Lena’s eyes narrowed as she watched Kara get up and head to the kitchen to help J’onn, with the blonde woman briefly turning back to smirk at Lena. Once the pancakes were ready, they had moved to the table, the smell of morning coffee easily mingled with the voices and laughs of everyone in the penthouse.

               “Oh, pancakes,” Brainy walked into the kitchen, breathing a sigh of relief, “I am so famished all of a sudden,”

               “That’ll be the alcohol, best get used to it.” Alex quipped, gesturing with her mug of coffee.

               “So, you’re telling me I have to have a headache _and_ be hungry after enjoying myself last night?” Brainy quizzed.

               After a subtle glance between them all, the table burst out in hysterical laughter.

               “That’s kind of the deal you make,” Sam giggled.

               “I don’t remember making that deal.” Brainy whispered to himself.

               “Eat your pancakes, you’ll feel better soon,” J’onn reassured, placing a plate in front of him.

               They gathered in the kitchen, each one with dark circles surrounding their eyes, their hair a mess of morning tangles; but today it didn’t matter. The laughs and stories they told of last night warmed the penthouse with the sounds of friends and love. It didn’t matter that it would take a while for them to clean, because the bittersweet feelings of moments gone, and memories made was much more important and prevalent. They had only been into the new year for a matter of hours, and it was innately obvious that this one was going to be so much better than the last. Lena looked at each of their faces, with a coffee cup in hand; _I am home_ , she thought, _I am home_. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got nothing to do for the next two months, because I'm on Easter break, so I'm very fic orientated right now, and we've been fed so well with Supergirl content so we're really winning, huh?
> 
> Come say hi on twitter! I'm @outislanders


	8. For Me And For You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!! Hope you're all doing well, here's a new chapter, which was almost going to be 13,000 words until I split it up ://
> 
> Congrats on the Hugo award nomination y'all, AO3 really is _that_ iconic, huh?

              The feeling and excitement of the new year disappeared into wispy nothings, and the reality of work had set in. January was spent trying to accustom oneself to the idea that the holidays had passed, and it would be a difficult few months until the next holiday could be celebrated.

              As to be expected, Lena had taken residence inside her office at L-Corp, and whilst she checked the applications for a new CEO for CatCo, she was interrupted by a light knock at the door and the appearance of Jess.

              “More mail has arrived for you, Miss Luthor,” Jess handed Lena the extra letters.

              “Thank you, Jess.”

              As Jess swiftly turned on her heels to leave the office, Lena had stopped her, “Would you be able to send me some of the copies of the files about L-Corp’s announcement?” Lena’s hand wafted the air in front of her, as she sported a sheepish smile, “What with the excitement of the winter holidays, I seem to have misplaced them,” she didn’t have the ability to admit that she was not even aware of _what_ exactly she needed, but she knew Jess would be able to help.

              With a small nod, her secretary had gone straight to room where every file was held. Jess had quickly returned with the files, as Lena was sifting through the mail, after a quick thank you to her secretary, the dark-haired woman was left alone in her office with the sound of turning paper filling the silences in between the taps of her pen.

              After Lena had finished looking through the applications, she relaxed in her office chair and peered at the next pile of papers that demanded her attention. The files could wait, she told herself, the mail was more important. Once she had sorted through bills, and payments that required her attention, there was a letter at the bottom of the pile that immediately caught Lena’s eyes.

 

\---

 

              At CatCo, nothing much had happened. Kara had written a quick report on a recent snowstorm, as well as interviewed some of the residents on the outskirts of National City, as to how they were affected. It was slightly mundane, but she enjoyed it all the same. For now, the weather began to pick up which was somewhat odd for the time of year; not necessarily spring, and no longer in the grasps of winter, but the days filled with sunshine were more welcome when Kara was able to enjoy lunch on the balcony of CatCo. Whilst she was in the middle of her second tuna and cucumber sandwich, one of the only things she was able to make, she received a quick visit from Eve who had taken her lunch break earlier in the day. Looking up to see the short blonde woman and her usual loose curls as she rounded the corner, Kara immediately stopped eating and gave her a welcome smile.

              Eve returned the smile, and skipped past their usual pleasantries, “There’s a call for you on line two, Kara.”

              Kara’s brow furrowed, no one had ever really called her specifically whilst she was at work. Usually she received her information or job description from someone higher up, and now that CatCo was currently searching for a new CEO, as Snapper Carr temporarily took over, it made the idea of a direct call all the stranger. “Thanks, Eve.”

              Helping Kara pack away, Eve tried to hurry her along, “It’s Miss Luthor, it sounds urgent.”

              Kara nodded, and returned to her desk, unceremoniously dumping the contents of her lunch on the side.

              “Hi, L-“ she cleared her throat, as she quickly remembered she was at work, “Miss Luthor.”

               _“Kara, are you able to stop by L-Corp?” There was a desperation to Lena’s voice that Kara hadn’t heard before, without familiarities as Lena rushed straight to the point of her phone call, and it worried Kara a lot more than she was able to admit._

              It didn’t matter to Kara that she still had a few more hours of work at CatCo left, or that she probably had something that Carr needed her to do, Lena sounded like she needed her more and that’s what she focused on. “Of course, do you need something?”

               _“Bring Alex, if you can.” The blunt and business-like nature of Lena’s voice returned as if it had never left._

              “Are you okay?”

               _The dark-haired woman fiddled with the white gold acorn pendant that hung at her neck, “Fine.” Lena’s voice changed to a wary tone, as if she didn’t believe her own answer._

              Kara hung up the phone and called Alex as she rushed to L-Corp, leaving the mess on her desk that she knew Carr would heavily scrutinise, not to mention leaving work much earlier than she was meant to without a word to anyone.

 

\---

 

              Alex had quickly stopped the work that she was doing at the DEO and left to meet Kara and Lena at L-Corp as soon as she had received her younger sister’s call.

              They gathered in Lena’s office after being ushered in by Jess, her secretary. Sitting opposite Lena, the two sisters waited patiently for Lena to say something, or anything that would allow them to know what was so urgent.

              “Hi…” Lena finally spoke as she mindlessly tapped her fingers on the desk, “Do you remember that announcement you spoke of, Kara?”

              Noticing the brunette woman’s change in behaviour, the tone of Kara’s voice became gentle, “Of course, we were meant to do an interview-”

              “Exactly. I had no recollection of it, turns out someone had managed to fully organise it for Jess to sort the logistics, such as-” she gestured towards the blonde woman, “interviews, _and_ a legitimate budget.”

              “What’s the problem?” Alex quizzed, as she sat forward in her chair and studied Lena. It seemed to be a usual thing that L-Corp would do if they had created a new piece of technology, or were unveiling a new building, nothing seemed out of the ordinary, and Alex returned to relaxing in her chair as she waited to know why she was needed.

              “I think someone had managed to hack into L-Corp, all correspondence was supposedly sent from me, but it’s the nature of the announcement that’s the problem-“ Lena inhaled a sharp breath, “it’s to announce Lex’s death,” she continued, picking up the letter she had read earlier,“Lex is _dead_.” Lena blinked back her thoughts, she hadn’t said it aloud or thought of the actual possibility once she read the letter that Jess had given her. Sure, it was written in black and white, and the wording couldn’t have been plainer, but _really_? She thought of the brother she had grown up with, the one who always told her how much he cared for her, who taught her to play chess, who was the only person she could trust in the Luthor household. Lena shook her head. That wasn’t Lex, Lex was a monster.

              Kara walked over to the other side of the desk and placed a gentle hand on Lena’s shoulder. Part of her wanted to pull her friend into a hug. The other part didn’t know how to comfort her, or if the dark-haired woman wanted what she would have called, pity, “Lena- I’m so sorry,”

              Lena met the warmth of Kara’s hand with her own and immediately pulled it away as she furiously wiped away a small tear that had escaped from her eye, “no, he wasn’t important.”

              Alex stood, with the intention of following Kara, until she began pacing around Lena’s office, with the sound of her shoes clicking on the marble tiles, filling in the silence between each woman’s thoughts. “Something isn’t right about this-”

              “Alex!” Kara scolded.

              Ignoring her younger sister, Alex walked over to the other side of Lena, scrutinising the letter, “Did that come from the prison?”

              Lena looked up from the letter she was holding, “I- I think so, it’s written on their stationary and has their logo.”

              “Surely they would have contacted you through different means if he had d- passed away. They wouldn’t just send you a letter, maybe a call, at least.”

              Lena straightened in her chair, and narrowed her eyes, she rested the side of her face on her hand allowing her mind to sift through Alex’s words. “Considering this ‘announcement’ has been planned for a while,” she nodded, “someone would have needed to collect his body, and organise the funeral.”

              Kara looked between her sister and her best friend, they seemed to have reached both a conclusion and understanding before she was given the ability to catch up. “Aren’t we getting a little ahead of ourselves?” The blonde woman lowered her voice to a calming tone, “He’s just died-”

              “He’s not dead, Kara,” Lena met Kara’s confused gaze, “he’s playing us all.”

              “Are you sure? Shouldn’t you call the prison and… I don’t know, check?” Kara innocently wondered.

              Lena rolled her eyes at Kara’s suggestion, “And say what? ‘Oh hi, my psychopath of a brother might be dead, just calling to double check, let me know though!’”

              Kara clenched her jaw, “I just don’t want you to start thinking one thing when it might not be true.”

              Lena shook her head, her dark hair following her movements, “He’s one of the most dramatic people I know. If he’s going to die, it would have to be something ostentatious, with the most damage he can achieve.”

              “There could be something planned for this announcement,” Alex wondered aloud as her eyes roamed the office walls whilst she thought.

              “Lex wouldn’t. Not whilst I’m there, surely-” Lena replied, more so to hear the words for her own benefit than someone else’s.

              “We’re gonna have to find out then,” Alex said.

 

\---

 

              Whilst Alex and Lena ran past their theories with each other, and possible plans for L-Corp’s announcement, Kara had left to get coffee for them all. There was something sinister behind the whole idea and she couldn’t quite figure out what it was. She hated the idea of having to face the unknown, and with a potential enemy with an unknown agenda, it made it all the worse in her eyes. It was the possibility of someone outsmarting her or being one step ahead that she really feared. She feared the loss that could follow, and she didn’t want to lose again.

              Once she collected the coffee from Noonan’s, Kara had arrived back to the tall glass building, and immediately headed for the top floor where Lena’s office was. As she walked down the corridor, a part of her was curious to know what her sister and best friend were talking about, and she was hoping they had finished discussing what she found to be a ridiculous ‘jump first and ask questions later’ scenario.

               _“Do you think Jess is aware of this?” Alex asked hesitantly, secretly wishing that she had no knowledge of the situation and believed it to be from Lena._

               _“She’s just doing her job,” Lena replied, “I should’ve been more aware of what was going on-_ ”

               _“Why weren’t you?” Alex questioned. She could’ve easily asked her in the way a friend would, but as the Director of the DEO, she had a job to do and she couldn’t afford for her own emotions to get in the way of that._

               _Lena met Alex’s worried gaze, the pain etched onto her pale face, “Everything that happened with Kara, I let it- I let my guard down a little too much.”_

              Kara stopped walking once she had heard those words leave Lena’s mouth. Lena was right. Lena was _always_ right. She shook her head in an attempt to clear her thoughts and reached for the handle of the door, and opened it, letting them both know it was only her. Kara pretended not to notice the way that Lena had cleared her throat when she walked in, or the quick glance Alex had given her that told of a need to continue their conversation. Alex was aware of what had happened, of course, because Kara had told her what she knew, but she didn’t _really_ know the extent the secrets and lies had affected Lena, and realistically, neither did Kara. The blonde woman ignored those subtle moments because it didn’t matter, she had hurt Lena and there was no excuse or explanation that could’ve made either of them forget.

              “What’s the plan?” Kara asked, passing out the coffee she had brought. A hazelnut latte for Lena, which was her go to when she was overworking herself and acted as a change from her black coffee. Finally, a coffee with milk and one sugar for Alex, and a cappuccino for herself.

              Alex’s hands tightened around the coffee cup she had been given, grateful for the warmth of the caffeinated liquid. “We’re going to go ahead with L-Corp’s announcement,” There was a professional approach to her voice that had usually been reserved for the DEO, but this was a situation where her emotions couldn’t override the overall plan.

              “You’re kidding?” Kara stumbled over words, “Surely- can’t we think about this first?”

              “It’s the best course of action.” Lena agreed, nodding her head when she met Alex’s gaze.

              “Have you thought about a security detail? The DEO? _Anything_?” Kara asked.

              “All bases are going to be covered, don’t worry,” Alex reassured.

              Kara nodded and took a deep breath. Her faith in Alex was enough, regardless of how it made her feel, “Okay,” she replied.

              “What is it, Lena?” Alex asked, realising the CEO was staring blankly out of the window, seemingly lost in her thoughts.

              “I-” she turned back in her chair, “nothing,” Lena replied. She thought of the man who she had encountered on the street so many months ago. The voice of the man and the way he called _“Slow down, Luthor!”_ was familiar for a reason. It was Lex she had heard.  Lena shook her head, she hadn’t been in the position to be fully aware of what was going on around her with the amount she had drank that night, and to her, it wasn’t as if she remembered it clearly, not to mention that most people in National City were already aware of who she was and what she looked like. _It’s a cruel trick_. _He’s in prison on Stryker’s Island_ , she thought, _could it really have been him?_

 

\---

 

              It had taken a few days for Alex and Lena, along with the help of the DEO, to organise L-Corp’s announcement. A statement for Lena to address the crowd was prepared with the help of Alex and Kara, and strictly followed the business persona of the CEO.  Security had been arranged, and were filtered throughout the paved open space outside of L-Corp. There was a stage positioned at the back, as well as a glass  podium, brandishing L-Corp’s logo that housed microphones from the different media outlets that were aiming to report on what was L-Corp’s first announcement of the year. With the large cameras that were positioned near the front of the stage as well as toward the back of the paved area, it resembled any other day and any normal situation.

              Earlier, CatCo had taken the lead to announce that L-Corp had some important news regarding its future as a company, along with the time and place that Lena would discuss it with the press.

              As people began to filter in front of the stage, Kara remained in the middle of the audience, close enough to each corner so that she was fully aware of what was happening. Wearing her blue trench coat, and white sweater with dark jeans, and black flats, she looked like anyone else in the crowd as her blonde hair fell effortlessly about her shoulders.

              She had gone along equipped with her ‘press’ badge around her neck, as she convinced Carr to allow her to cover the company’s announcement, promising him an exclusive interview with Lena. Although she didn’t really expect any information from Lena as she was just as in the dark as everyone else, Kara knew she would have been his first choice, but she needed an excuse to be in the vicinity and if she could be there under the premise of work, then she would run with it regardless.

              Kara stood in the audience, waiting for Lena to give her announcement. She stood still, listening for any slight interruption, anything that didn’t feel right. There was nothing that was different to the last time she stood in the paved space, waiting for Lena to unveil L-Corp’s new name and agenda for good, which she remembered, resulted in Corben’s attack. She stretched her neck, hoping today wouldn’t result in that type of attack again.

              Alex was in a nearby building, positioned at a third-storey window, she had a view of the entire area, and if something were to happen, Alex concluded she would be the first to know about it. A few of the other DEO agents were dressed in plain clothes amongst the sea of people, and a small number were dotted in adjacent buildings like Alex. The two sisters had established a communication frequency on one of the DEO’s earpieces with each other, as well as Alex having constant contact with the other agents, on a different shared frequency.

              “Something still doesn’t feel right about this-” Kara began. She couldn’t explain what the feeling was, whether it was her excessive worry that was finding its way to the surface or something else entirely.

               _“It’s fine, Kara, trust me. It’s going to be okay,” Alex replied._

              “I don’t like the idea of using her as bait.”

               _“I know. But she’s okay,” Alex gently reminded her._

              Kara stood, clenching her fists at her side, as she spoke through gritted teeth, “If anything happens to Lena...”

               _Alex could understand her younger sister’s reservations and as best she could, she wanted to reassure her that they wouldn’t allow anything bad to happen to Lena. “We’ve got her covered, I promise.”_

              Kara nodded to herself once Alex had finished speaking, “She’ll be up soon, is everyone in position?”

               _“We’re exactly where we discussed.”_

              Kara let out a sigh of relief, “Okay, I’ll speak to you once this is over.”

              The communication between them stopped, and Alex changed the frequency of her transmission to the DEO as they both anticipated Lena’s appearance.

 

\---

 

              When Lena stood by the side of the stage, she was dressed in a black suede blazer, with a white button up shirt and dark slacks with her usual heels. Her hair was in a loose bun, and she looked more casual than she normally would during a workday. Kara watched her walk up to the podium and caught Lena’s gaze, for a moment the expression on her face could have been mistaken for fear if the brunette woman hadn’t quickly dismissed it as soon as it appeared. She wouldn’t have mentioned if she was scared and she wouldn’t have let the flicker of her face fall if she looked at anyone other than Kara, and both women knew it.

              “Good morning,” Lena said as she announced the crowd, with a tight-lipped smile, greeted with a light applause. Her hands tightened around the sides of the glass podium. “L-Corp, under my influence, has always been a company that prided itself on complete transparency to the citizens of National City.” She inhaled a sharp breath, reading the prepared statement to herself again, and whether she believed what she was saying or not didn’t matter. “Today is no different, I’m here to talk to you about Alexander, my brother, Lex-“

              Lena’s voice was cut off by the sound of an explosion behind her and the cries of the nearby people.

              Kara eyes darted around, trying to survey the situation that had unfolded in front of her as she heard the terror in the crowd. An explosion to the back of the stage, no sign of Lena, no injuries to the crowd.

               _Alex cleared her throat, “Supergirl?” She lowered her voice to a loud whisper, “Kara!”_

              “I’m here-” Kara helped a few other people to their feet, as others were rushed out of the area by security, “I didn’t see what happened properly, have you got eyes on Lena?”

               _Alex looked around, “An explosion. She’s on stage at the podium… She’s down.”_

              “I’ve got her, you go help-”

               _Alex began running down the corridor toward a nearby staircase, “On it”_

              Kara quickly changed into her Supergirl suit, with her golden hair falling to her shoulders, and Lena saw a blur of red and blue rush to her side, as she tried to focus her eyes.

              “Hey,” Kara quietly smiled.

              “K- Supergirl, hi.” Lena replied weakly, unsure of what had happened, but still extremely unsurprised it ended the way it had.

              Kara placed a gentle hand under the side of Lena’s cheek. When Lena took her hand away from her head, a wave of nausea flushed over Kara as her hand came away covered in blood. The Kryptonian wasn’t squeamish by any means but seeing Lena’s blood made the pit of her stomach turn; a small reminder of Lena’s mortality, even if it was just a cut on her forehead at the point where her dark hair began, “you’re bleeding,” she whispered.

              Lena touched her forehead again and winced, “It only hurts a little.”

              After a quick scan to make sure Lena had no internal injuries, Kara placed one hand at her lower back and another under her knees. It was highly unlikely that Lena would have any more injuries than what was visible, but Kara needed to be certain regardless. “Up, up and away,” she smiled, following a light scoff from Lena.

              Kara had taken Lena to her own office in L-Corp. She had thought of taking her elsewhere, but this was the closest place for them to go to and the most obvious when Alex would need to find them. Besides, Kara concluded, no one would be able to do anything whilst she was around, regardless of what had just happened. Kara had cleaned Lena’s hand and the thin trickles of blood that made their way below her eye with a damp paper towel, but she didn’t want to do anything else in case she made it worse, and even Lena’s wincing at that alone was enough to put her off. So, they sat, side by side, together on the sofa as they always used to and Kara’s right arm as well as the bottom of her red cape draped naturally around Lena’s shoulders. She remembered that whenever people were hurt – the aim was to keep them warm and it was all Kara could think of doing, whether her friend really needed it or not. Sitting so close to her she could smell Lena’s familiar vanilla perfume mingled with the smell of smoke following the recent explosion.

              “I’m fine, Kara.” Lena repeated, keeping a balled-up tissue that Kara had given to her once they got there tightly to the right-side of her head.

              Kara still looked flustered, with her hair unruly when she started to speak, “You don’t look fine-“ silenced by a look from Lena, that told her she was worrying for no reason, Kara’s jaw closed with an audible snap.

               _“Kara!” Alex refrained from shouting at her younger sister because of the fear that she felt when she hadn’t heard from her, “Are you guys okay?”_

              “Lena’s head is bleeding,”

               _The worry in Alex’s voice was evident through the earpiece Kara had, “Where are you both?”_

              “Lena’s office,” she took a breath, “L-Corp,” Kara replied.

 

\---

 

              After telling Alex where they were, Kara began pacing the tiles of the office, much to Lena’s silent annoyance. Kara momentarily stopped pacing to greet Alex at the office door and follow her in. “There’s a lot of blood, Alex,” she fussed.

              They had been holding tissues to Lena’s head in an attempt to stop the bleeding until Alex was able to take a closer look. “It’s just because it’s on my forehead. You know, more blood vessels and what not, it’s completely fine,” Lena replied, watching Alex as she walked towards her, “Kara’s just worrying too much.”

              ”I think you might need stitches-” Alex quickly examined.

              Lena looked worried, “it’s not going to scar, is it?”

              “Of course not. Once the stitches are removed, you’ll have a little mark for a week or two, then you’re good to go!” Alex smiled, “Plus, your hair will cover it until then.”

              “I think I may have hit my head on the side of the podium when the explosion happened,” Lena wondered aloud, remembering the loud bang and then the worry on Kara’s face once she was on the floor of the stage.

              “We’ll have you fixed in no time!” Alex exclaimed.

              Once Kara had cleared one side of Lena’s desk, and piled her papers to the other side, the brunette woman sat, with her ankles crossed and lightly swinging. At some point when she arrived, she had abandoned her heels, and the soles of her feet craved the cooling tiles once more. It was easier for Alex to check Lena’s wound there, with the excess of sunlight that filtered through the window when Lena had tilted her chin toward the ceiling. Kara had been told to stay on the sofa, so Alex was able to tend to Lena properly, without Kara’s constant pacing and nervous energy that seemed to fill the room more so when she hovered around.

              Alex opened the small first aid kit she had always kept with her. It was perfect to treat any wound, from gunshots to stab wounds, and the odd attack from aliens. After putting on a pair of disposable latex gloves, and tearing open one of the antiseptic wipes, Alex brought it to Lena’s head, with a small warning that it might sting.

              Hearing Lena’s slight hiss at the pain and mumbled curse under her breath, Kara’s eyes widened, “Are you-” she began, quickly silenced by a quick look from Alex.

              Once the blood and wound had been cleaned, Alex stitched up the cut on Lena’s forehead as gently as she could. Alex took a small light to Lena’s eyes, telling her to follow the movement of her finger whilst she watched for the way Lena’s pupils dilated in response to the brightness. With the intense colour of her green eyes, it was easier to see the movements of her pupils, and Alex quickly came to the conclusion that she didn’t have a concussion.

              “Thanks, Doc,” Lena smiled.

              “No problem,” Alex smiled, packing away the first aid kit.

              “Do I look like a pirate?” Lena asked when Kara walked over.

              There was a purple bruise beginning to form at the site of Lena’s stitches. “You look per- you look great,” Kara smiled, leaning closer to Lena, “matey,”

              Lena giggled, putting on her best pirate impersonation, “argh I thought I did, I’ll have to owe you ten doubloons for that compliment!”

              Alex gave them another silencing look, but the two women saw the way her mouth turned into a slight smile, quickly dismissed by her serious persona. “We have a few things to run through with you, Lena. J’onn’s on his way.” Alex said in her most professional manner.

              “Of course, whatever you need-” Lena started.

              “It’s not what _we_ need, it’s what we need to do for _you_.”

              Lena’s brow furrowed for a moment, stopping when it pulled on her stitches. “I don’t-” she shrugged, knowing her question would likely be answered later, “okay.”

              Alex took Kara aside, and spoke to her in a whispered tone, whether Lena was able to hear or not, she didn’t let on, “Kara if he managed to break out of prison, he’s a bigger threat than we realised-”

              “That means nothing,” Kara protested.

              “It means he has _someone_ helping him,” Alex said.

              “And she has so many more protecting her!” Kara replied matter of factly, her mind wandered to questions she was desperate for Alex to dismiss, but one was at the forefront of her thoughts. “Do you think there was a significance as to why CatCo was asked to interview Lena?” Kara asked.

              Alex thought for a moment, the possibilities were endless, Lex could be aware of Supergirl’s alter-ego as a reporter for CatCo, and planned to take her down too, it could be because Lex was aware of Lena purchasing the media company over a year ago. “I don’t know, we’ll have to look into it.”

              Kara nodded, for now, it was enough that Alex was aware of her sister’s questions.

              Despite Alex having been appointed as the Director of the DEO, J’onn was always on hand to help when he was needed. There were times when Alex wanted to call for his help more than she should have, but she would remind herself that he believed in her and put all of his trust in her. She deserved his confidence, because he wouldn’t have chosen someone who didn’t know what they were doing and his faith in her was enough until she really needed his advice.

              This was one of the times that Alex needed a second opinion, there was a personal stake in what could happen next, Lena was their friend and Alex wanted to take the safest option she could. Whilst they waited for J’onn’s arrival, Kara changed into the clothes she was wearing earlier in the day, returning with her blonde hair tied, and the familiar sight of her dark framed glasses.

              A few minutes later J’onn had arrived.

              “We have the building secured,” Alex informed him.

              “Great,” J’onn replied, despite the lack of a required status report from the one who was now in charge of the DEO, Alex, he was grateful all the same.

              The four of them sat on the sofa and chairs in Lena’s office. They waited for someone to ask a question or tell them what was expected of them next, but the wait lasted a little longer than expected as they fussed over their own hands and looked toward anything but each other.

              “We found another three bombs that didn’t go off due to some static interruptions, and they have since been disarmed…” Alex took a breath, breaking the uncomfortable silence, “One of which was under the podium where you were, Lena.”

              “And we’re sure it was Lex because of the logo that was found on the weapons,” J’onn continued, “Luthor Corp.”

              Lena’s brow furrowed, “We haven’t made weapons for years,”

              J’onn nodded, “Which explains why some of the bombs failed to detonate.”

              “He was going to _kill_ me?” There was a tone of disbelief in Lena’s voice, as if she believed Lex, despite being the monster everyone knew him to be, would never go out of his way to hurt her, let alone end her life.

              “Like you said, maximum damage,” Alex replied.

              “You’re going to have to leave National City, Lena,” J’onn spoke.

              Lena let out a humourless laugh, “there’s no way I’m running away from this.”

              “Staying puts your life in dangers as well as the lives of my agents,” J’onn calmly replied.

              A part of Lena hated the current business-like approach she had with J’onn and Alex, but she understood he was right and regardless of her feelings on the situation, it was for her benefit. “Fine,” Lena replied.

              “You’re sure?” Alex asked, as she had already planned a whole monologue as to why Lena would have to leave.

              “I don’t want anyone else to be to put in danger because of me,” Lena concluded.

              “It’s not because of you,” Kara reassured.

              “She’s right,” J’onn rubbed his temple, and the familiarity of his voice returned, “I’m sorry if it came across that way-”

              “No, it didn’t,” Lena sighed, “what’s the plan?”

              “Eliza,” Alex smiled, “and Midvale.”

              Kara’s eyes widened, “You’re going to love it!”

              “Wait,” Lena gestured with her hands, “slow down, I don’t know...” The idea of visiting Midvale for a few days sounded great, she had always wanted to see the place Kara had grown up and spoken so lovingly about, but she didn’t want to run.

 

\---

 

              Lena had managed to get J’onn and Alex to agree to let her go to her penthouse to collect some of her own clothes and personal items if Kara had gone with her, which didn’t trouble either of them. It was getting darker by the minute despite the many hours left in the day.

              Following Lena into her penthouse, Kara was still as surprised to see how pristine it was despite her many visits. It was Lena’s walk-in closet that surprised Kara the most.

              The closet was ginormous, and filled with grey carpets, and full-length mirrors with white walls and a little diamond encrusted chandelier that brightened and sparkled the closet in a way she didn’t expect. It was so different to the rest of the penthouse, but so meticulously curated all the same. Each item of clothing had its own place, and it resembled the inside of a designer store. The shelves housed shoes of the same style which were then organised by colour – _so many heels_ , Kara thought. The racks of clothing underneath followed the same pattern of organisation, from blouses to t-shirts, and thin jackets  in-between.

              It was so perfect, to Kara. Sitting on a grey chesterfield styled chair, that she assumed was for decoration, but Lena didn’t seem to mind; Kara rested her head on her hands as she watched Lena flutter around effortlessly, knowing exactly where everything had been placed. It made her think of how messy her own wardrobe was, the clean clothes that she would just place wherever there was space once they had been folded, and the shoes that were strewn throughout the apartment. The beginning of everything in Lena’s life had been controlled by someone else, and despite the lack of personal belongings in her home, it was clear Lena had exuded and needed to take back that control in anyway that she could, even if it was just the simple act organising her own closet. For a moment, the blonde woman wondered if her friend had ever truly ‘let her hair down’ and been content with the unknown, and whether the Lena Luthor that the public knew, and the woman Kara knew was someone else entirely.

              “You could fit my entire apartment in here!” Kara exclaimed, still gawking at how elegant and different the closet was to the rest of the penthouse. It was full of colour, and Kara couldn’t remember the last time Lena had worn anything that wasn’t a darker variation of the many items in her closet, not that she ever thought of what Lena wore, it was a mere observation.

              Lena caught Kara’s eyes in one of the full-length mirrors, “It’s a little… much,” she shrugged, “I’ll admit.”

              “No, it isn’t. If you’re going to have designer clothes, they may as well have somewhere nice to live, too!”

              Lena smiled. It was a genuine smile despite the fear coursing through her veins. Kara could always lighten any situation, and it was one of the reasons that she was glad to have her friend back. “Should I bring a jumper?” Lena asked, holding up a black cocktail dress still on the hanger.

              Kara suppressed a laugh, knowing Midvale was mainly full of small independent restaurants, and as far as she knew, no nearby places that Lena would be able to wear her elegant dresses. She hoped there would be, especially if Lena were to be staying for a while, as somewhere upmarket might be that little bit more familiar to her. “It’ll probably be needed since it’s colder by the beach.”

              Lena rifled through one of the many racks of her walk-in closet. She didn’t have many warm clothes, she had a ski outfit for some reason, even though she hadn’t gone skiing in years, and that most definitely wasn’t going with her. “I think the only warm piece of clothing I’ve got belongs to you from New Year’s Day,” she looked around, “everything else is cashmere and-”

              Kara ignored the mention of her favourite lilac cardigan that Eliza had knitted her as a gift, _and a little piece of home_ , when she first moved to National City. The cuffs and hem were becoming slightly frayed, as it was her go to jumper when she would spend time with a book and her usual cup of camomile tea to relax.  She had planned to ask Eliza if she wouldn’t mind fixing it for her, and of course, Eliza wouldn’t mind. Kara found it to have a comforting presence, even if it was just an item of clothing with the smell of lavender detergent that lingered for days once it had been washed. If Lena was able to find the same comfort in the cardigan as Kara often sought, then she was grateful for someone else to have it, especially if that person were Lena. “Doesn’t cashmere have a higher insulating capacity than wool?”

              Lena disregarded Kara’s question and subsequent knowledge, “I’ll take both.”

              “I’ve got plenty more jumpers that are normally left in Midvale and Alex does too,” Kara reassured.

              “I’ll just get some things from the bathroom, one second.” At Kara’s nod, Lena went into her bathroom and put her favourite moisturiser and perfume into a toiletry bag as well as the rest of the bottles that stayed on top of the countertop by the sink. She padded along the marble tiles into the entrance of her bedroom and repressed a snarl at the sight of the photo of her and Lex. _How could someone who was supposed to love you do that?_ She thought. Her hand instinctively reached for the frame before her mind could catch up, and without completely realising what she was doing, she smashed the frame on the side of the bureau where it normally stayed. Lena’s eyes widened at what she had done, with her hand still tightly gripping the frame, as she anticipated Kara’s appearance and questions.

              Kara, as if on cue, leaned against the doorframe and peered warily into the bedroom, the worried tone of her voice that Lena had noticed earlier in the day returning, “Is everything okay?” She saw the frame that she had noticed on New Year’s Eve in the dark-haired woman’s hand, with the glass of the frame littering the marble floors. She knew what Lena had done, but Kara didn’t ask questions because she told herself that she would’ve probably done the same.

              Lena straightened her posture and returned Kara’s concerned gaze with a blank expression. “Everything’s fine,” she stepped lightly around the glass as she walked into the corridor, leaving behind a confused Kara, “come on,” she called back, “they’ll be wondering where we are.”

              Kara followed, and the two left the penthouse, with the blonde woman making a mental note to tell Alex, in case she had thought there had been a burglary or someone else had been inside when they would complete their routine checks, and to ask if someone were able to clean it up since she didn’t get the opportunity to.

 

\---

 

              Once they had left Lena’s penthouse, after Kara insisted on Lena changing her shoes, each of them carried a few of her bags; to share the load between them despite Kara’s offer to carry them all, whilst Lena insisted on walking back to L-Corp. Their walk was completely silent as Kara fought the need to talk to Lena and ask her if she was alright, knowing she wasn’t but at least it would’ve started a conversation between them both. Neither complained of the cold when the warmth of their breath fell into step behind them into a haze of orange illuminated by the streetlights they passed. Returning to the warmth of L-Corp, with their cheeks bitten red with the cold, they placed Lena’s bags against the wall of her office. Maybe four full bags were too many, or not enough, but no one knew how much time she would spend in Midvale and she wanted to be prepared.

              “Okay,” Alex began, returning to both women, “we’ve got a rental car that will be picked up by one of our agents once you’ve arrived, so there’s no trace of you. For all he knows, he injured you gravely or fatally.”

              “He’s not stupid.” Lena mumbled, “I could go to Italy, _or_ a secluded Greek island.” She thought of a movie Kara had once dragged her to see, _Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again._ Donna Sheridan exploring Europe and ending up on a beautiful island in Greece sounded terrific; even though it was filmed in Croatia, there was no escaping the turquoise waters of the Mediterranean. Although she didn’t necessarily want the next few days, weeks or even months to be like a musical that Kara would lovingly fawn over, it was all she could think of.

              “We can’t risk you going to another country,” Alex said matter-of-factly, snapping Lena’s attention back to the present situation.

              “I could stay here-” Lena shrugged, trying to convince Alex again, as if this time she might change her mind.

              “It’s not an option, Lena.” Kara replied, her eyes roaming the brunette woman’s face, and landing on the stitched-up wound that seemingly added colour to her appearance.

              Lena jutted out her chin, and gestured with her hands as she always did, more so when she was annoyed, “Look, I adore Eliza too, but I can’t stay with your mom forever.”

              “It’s just until- until we figure out our next move that’s all,” Alex smiled, “we’ve got to be two steps ahead.”

              “Can’t someone go with me?” Lena asked.

              Kara opened her mouth to speak and quickly closed it as she thought. “I’ll go with you, I’m sure my boss won’t mind me missing work too much.” Lena smiled at the playful smirk on her face, “Besides, I was planning to go home a while ago.”

              J’onn exchanged a look with Alex and nodded, seemingly reaching an agreement between themselves, as if they had already anticipated this part of the conversation. “You could keep an eye on her from there-“

              Kara grinned, and looked at Lena from the corner of her eyes, with a mischievous smile dancing on her lips, “does this mean a road trip?”

              “Is it far?” Lena sounded wary, and already tired of the short trip that they were about to take.

              “A couple of hours, but we could take the long, scenic route-“ Kara smiled.

              “Absolutely not.” Alex scolded, “Straight there, and then call us once you arrive,”

              Kara leaned closer to Lena and whispered whilst J’onn and Alex discussed the logistics between themselves. “I could show you the coastal route another time,”

              Lena smiled, “you’re going to get us into trouble!”

              Kara’s mind wandered to one of the only two places she had ever truly called home, “It’s beautiful, and seeing the sun dip behind the water is probably the most incredible sight.”

 

\---

 

              Leaving Lena with J’onn and Alex at L-Corp, Kara had collected and packed her bags from her own apartment much quicker than Lena. She didn’t spend time debating which items would’ve gone together, or which colour scheme she wanted to stick to, instead the blonde woman chose clothes she felt comfortable with and much like Lena, threw in a few of her dresses as well as her favoured toiletries. Kara quickly returned to the office with two suitcases in hand, and placed them next to Lena’s.

              Lena had said her goodbyes to Sam on the phone, and she promised that she would visit within the next few weeks, much to Lena’s silent disappointment. She didn’t want to be away for a few weeks, or at all, but seeing the excitement on Kara’s face to finally show Lena the hometown she had always talked about and went to when she needed to clear her head was enough to keep her current disappointment at bay.

              “Are you ready to leave?” Kara asked, studying the intense look of concentration on the dark-haired woman’s face.

              “I’m ready,” Lena replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this where the story really begins, and a lot of it will take place in Midvale!  
> Hope you liked this sort of 'filler chapter' as I've been calling it!!  
> 
> 
> Come say hi on twitter, I'm @outislanders
> 
> P.S. I've also been reading way too much of Jazz's work (jazzfordshire - if you didn't know!!) than I care to admit so like I'm not saying I'll write a smut chapter at some point but I've had a few messages about it and I absolutely probably will... so there's that, although it won't be for a LONG time because this is a slow burn after all


	9. Then You Took Me By The Hand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I keep wanting to get into the full angst and drama of the story but knowing how it ends up makes me keep writing Kara and Lena in the softest way possible, and I can’t stop because I need to see them happy (which is lowkey selfish but whatever).
> 
> So here’s however many words of utter love because I lack any self-control over my emotions.

              Kara loaded Lena’s bags and her own in the boot of the car as Lena leaned against the door, after her help was quickly refused.

              “I don’t see the point in going- if he’s going to try something, let him. Or let him face me like the man he pretends to be.” Lena spat.

              “You’ll love Midvale,” Kara smiled, trying to direct Lena’s attention to something more positive, “it’s probably my favourite place in the world.”

              Lena’s brow furrowed, realising she hadn’t taken Kara into account, “I’m looking forward to it-”

              “But you just said-” Kara began.

              “If it means something to you, then it means something to me too.” Lena nodded to herself, “I want to see the place in all your photos.”

              Kara smiled, “Great,” she unzipped one of her own bags, “I’ve got a jumper, if you want it, it’s more comfortable,”

              Lena smiled, “thank you.” She removed her blazer and pulled the grey jumper over her head, noticing the royal blue ‘National City University’ logo, motto and crest, and she got into the passenger side of the car, removing her hair from the loose bun. Kara shut the boot and opened the door to the driver’s side, following Lena into the car.

              They settled into the cold cream leather of the black Land Rover. Kara started the engine, silently surprised she was the one driving, although Lena wasn’t aware of how against Kara’s driving her older sister was, and she certainly wasn’t going to tell her. The streets were somewhat busy with traffic, it was just after rush-hour, the time when the people leaving work later than others were about to go home. Lena and Kara had also been encouraged to leave their phones behind in National City, in case either of the phones could be traced. It was a precaution that both women were quietly against, but they agreed all the same, especially when Kara had told Lena they can get new ones once they arrive in Midvale.

              The low volume of the radio quietly hummed in the background of each of the women’s thoughts as Kara’s eyes were focused on the road, and Lena watched the people and cars they passed. She wondered which words were floating in each of the citizen’s minds, if they were heading home to their families, or going out to meet friends, or even walking endlessly trying to escape something in their lives.

              Kara took a deep breath as she saw National City fade into the distance in the rear-view mirror, it’s bright lights and tall buildings becoming smaller by the second. She told herself that for now, the city didn’t need her, the DEO could handle any problem that they encountered, and she knew Alex would contact her if there were any situations where Kara would be useful. Besides, the woman in the passenger seat needed her more and that’s what her own heart knew.

              “How long until we’re there?” Lena spoke, breaking the silence between them.

              “A couple of hours, get some rest if you can,”

              Lena spoke through gritted teeth, “I can’t sleep, my mind is racing, I want him gone.”

              The blonde woman thought to herself, wondering what normally made her feel better when heading home after an awful time in National City, “Do you want to stop for coffee or something to eat?”

              Lena shrugged, “If you do-”

              Kara grinned, “So that’s a yes.” Lena laughed, at the expression on her face, “There’s this twenty-four-hour diner that Alex and I always used to stop at when we’d go home,”

              Lena ran a hand through her dark hair, “sounds great to me!”

              “I meant to ask before, are you okay with sharing a bedroom? Because I’m more than happy to stay downstairs.” Kara asked.

              “The question is, are _you_ , since it is your room.”

              Kara dismissed Lena’s comments, “I don’t mind-”

              “I was in boarding school until I went to college, I’m cool with it.”

              Kara nodded, “I’ll take Alex’s bed, and-”

              “No”, Lena held her hands up, “I’m not taking your bed from you.”

              Kara shrugged, “Your choice, if you want to be in the least comfortable bed.”

 

\---

 

              The diner was full of chrome on the outside that reflected the blue and pink neon lights, telling of it being open for twenty-four hours. The similar neon sign read ‘Aunt Celia’s Kitchen’ but the letter _t_ in ‘Aunt’ was burned out long ago. However, the rest of the letters still shone brightly, and the missing _t_ was practically unimportant.

              Kara stood on the tip of her toes and stretched out her arms, “it’s nice to be out of the car.”

              “I’m alright, really, I don’t mind!”

              With the roll of her shoulders, Kara grinned, “That’s because you’re so little-”

              “I’m only a few inches shorter than you,” Lena scoffed.

              Surprisingly the car park was full, but there was only one classic American car near the entrance – a gleaming black 1963 Mercury Comet with the convertible top down, showcasing the bright red leather inside. Both women silently admired it as they passed by, the car could’ve easily been mistaken for being brand new, it was in such a perfect condition.

              The Four Seasons played on the jukebox towards the back of the diner, lit up in every colour of the rainbow. _December, 1963_ was always such an upbeat, relatable song for any young person, and the perfect soundtrack for a first love. Holding the door open, Kara smiled at Lena, “This is one of my favourite songs,”

              Lena grinned back, “I actually _know_ this song!”

              “I would ask if you wanted to dance-” Kara shrugged, “I don’t think we have a big enough audience, though,”

              Lena scoffed, “not to mention you’d be mainly dancing by yourself.”

              The diner simultaneously smelled of breakfast and dinner, morning and night, and both women were desperate to get something to eat. Its black chequered floor resembled a 1950’s movie, but 60’s music filled the diner, thankfully without the previous political agenda, and it was so perfectly retro. An older couple sat together over coffee, and towards the back of the diner, a group of young teenagers were laughing hysterically amongst themselves, sharing stories and hopes for the future.

              It was so comforting, for some reason, and that’s all Lena could think of; how content and familiar this place seemed to feel in the time that it had taken her to walk through the glass doors with their similar chromatic framing.

              Kara directed them to a booth by the window, with worn red and leather and a scratched silver table that easily reflected the lights from the rounded hanging lights with crimson metal shades. Practically every condiment known to man sat on the back of the table – mayonnaise, mustard, ketchup and brown sauce, although Lena knew they’d likely have more variations if someone were to ask.

              The two women sat opposite each other, with Kara’s outstretched legs lightly grazing the thin material of Lena’s dark slacks, which caused the brunette woman to change the way she was sitting. It wasn’t that it made her uncomfortable, it didn’t. The subtle feeling wasn’t familiar, and for a reason Lena couldn’t explain, the unfamiliarity of it made her wary.

              Kara’s legs absentmindedly followed Lena’s own movements, searching for the nearby human warmth, causing Lena’s eyes to dart to the blonde woman who was already preoccupied watching the people rushing past, completely unaware of the burning intensity of the emerald eyes opposite.

              To the other side of the diner were silver swivel chairs at the bar, with the same red leather as the booths, and a soda fountain behind, which seemed to have been bought at the same time the place was built – a _long_ time ago. Lena thumbed the huge menu with its fading photos and worn red fabric siding, from eggs to roast dinners, and burgers and pizzas in between. Looking up, she realised Kara hadn’t looked at the menu, “Don’t tell me _the_ Kara Danvers isn’t hungry,”

              Kara’s eyes widened at Lena’s suggestion, “I’ve already chosen!”

              “You haven’t even looked at the menu,” Lena said accusingly, handing Kara the one she was reading.

              Kara tapped her temple, “it’s all in here,” she bit her lip as she thought, then dug in the light brown leather tote bag at her side, pulling out her Polaroid camera, “do you mind?”

              Lena’s cheeks turned a light shade of pink, “Oh, I don’t look-”

              Kara averted her eyes from the woman opposite and rubbed the back of her neck with a sheepish grin, “I meant could you take one of me…”

              Lena’s mouth fell open, “um- yeah- of course,”

              Kara’s mouth turned into a smirk, “I’m kidding,” she placed the Polaroid at the side of the table, “I meant you.”

              “I look awful.” Lena responded, tugging at the excess fabric of the jumper Kara had given her.

              “You look like _Lena,_ ” Kara said. There was a tone to Kara’s voice that was so genuinely pure when Lena heard her name, people always said it, but there was a difference she caught when her name left Kara’s mouth. Her name sounded sure and honey-sweet in a way no one had ever said it, from the way the blonde woman lengthened the first vowel, to the innocent look on Kara’s face. For a moment it was as if she was hearing her name for the first time.

              Lena smiled, more so to herself, “okay, but only if I can take one of you, _and_ we’ll have to get one together before we leave.”

              “Deal,” Kara brought the Polaroid’s viewfinder to her eye, and the shutter went off with an audible click. The photo came from the bottom of the camera, and Kara gave it to Lena before it could develop, “here.”

              Instead of insisting that she wasn’t ready for the photo, Lena waited patiently for it to develop. “Why Polaroid’s all of the time?”

              Kara shrugged, “I’ve always loved the idea of film, you know, a complete and utter permanence.”

              “Why not get a film camera?” Lena quizzed, it seemed to be the most obvious choice, and a film camera was slimmer and easier to carry around than a Polaroid.

              “I’m saving for a Leica, both digital and the old film version,” Kara made a sweeping gesture in the air with her hand, “one day, hopefully,”

              “and you’d definitely need a dark room in your home!” Lena quickly exclaimed.

              Kara smiled, “It’s all a part of the ‘one day’ plan,”

              Lena allowed the hopeful atmosphere between the women to settle, “your turn,” Lena’s hands brushed the blonde woman’s as she was handed the camera.

              Kara’s hands hovered awkwardly, “Hair up or down?”

              Lena gazed at Kara in awe, to her, it didn’t matter which way her hair fell, or even if it didn’t. “Either way is perfect,”

              Kara’s eyes narrowed, as she made the decision for herself by pulling at the elastic of her hairband, and placing the black band around her wrist, “we can match.”

              “Okay. Three, two, one,” Lena’s finger pressed the trigger and she handed the small square from the Polaroid to the blonde woman in the same way she had given it to her first.

              Once Kara’s had developed, she lay hers next to Lena’s and both of their eyes sparkled just as much in person as they did through the photo, “They’re great, aren’t they?”

              “Who knew you were _so_ photogenic, Miss Danvers?” Lena smirked, a playful smile dancing on her lips.

              Kara shrugged, “You can talk!”

              “I’m barely smiling,” Lena ran a hand through her hair.

              “That’s the thing- you don’t have to be,” Kara pointed to Lena’s photo, “there’s a slight smile there, see? And you can clearly see the secret joy in your face at getting your photo taken.”

              Lena’s eyes narrowed, “I’ll take your word for it,” Kara, as if forgetting an important detail, immediately took out a black biro from the bottom of her bag, “you’re not going to date them too, are you?”

              “You bet I am!” The blonde woman wrote the date, the name of the diner, adorned with ‘road trip #1’ and each of their names on the bottom of the separate images. Kara put the pen back in her bag and pushed the camera back to the wall of the booth, nearest the windowsill, “I’ll be right back, I’m just gonna go to the bathroom.”

              The Supremes started playing in the background once Lena had watched Kara wander off to the bathroom. She smiled, knowing the lyrics of _You Can’t Hurry Love_ , and her mind hummed the melody when the chorus began, with her foot mindlessly tapping along;

               _You can't hurry love,_

               _No, you just have to wait._

               _She said trust, give it time,_

               _No matter how long it takes_.

 

\---

 

              “Kara!” The old, familiar woman with her short grey hair and huge black jam-jar like glasses walked over with an equally sizeable grin, “How are you, honey? I haven’t seen you in forever!”

              “Hi, Celia! I’m great, thank you. How are you? How’s your grandkids?” Kara asked excitedly.

              “They’re fantastic. Cameron has just started high school, so it’s all go at the minute, and things have been pretty much the same – always busy!”

              Kara grinned, “I remember when he was just this tall,” she gestured toward the floor. Once when her and Alex has stopped by the diner, it was busier than normal, and one of Celia’s grandchildren was sat in a booth alone. Both women had stayed with him and bought him ice cream when Celia had introduced them, this then turned into a usual occurrence when they would be on their way home, and as the time progressed, they would often help him with his homework.

              “He’s practically the height of a basketball player now.” Celia replied.

              “That’s so great,” Kara smiled.

              “How’s Alex doing? I noticed you weren’t here with her.” Celia quizzed.

              “She’s good, I’m hoping she’ll be stopping in Midvale soon and I’ll tell her to stop here too!”

              “It’s tradition after all,” Celia exclaimed.

              “I’ve got someone I want you to meet-” they walked back to the table where Lena sat colouring in one of the pictures on the placemat, “Lena, this is Celia, and Celia, this is my best friend, Lena.”

              Lena stood, embarrassingly placing the crayons back down, the name of the diner made sense to her – it belonged to the woman she was standing in front of. “Hi,” she held out her hand, “it’s nice to meet-”

              Celia enveloped Lena in a bear-like hug, which allowed her to smell the heavy contrasting scents of cinnamon and peppermint that seemed to follow the older woman around, “and it’s nice to meet you too!”

              Kara smiled, “We’ve known Celia for as long as Alex has lived in National City.”

              “I’m practically their adopted grandma,” Celia smiled.

              Kara wrapped her arm around her, “she really is!”

              Kara scooted into the booth opposite Lena, and Celia sat next to her.

              “Are you originally from Midvale?” Lena asked.

              “I grew up there, then moved around a bit, but it’s always been home. You can’t beat a good day by the beach or a day inside listening to the sounds of nature whilst the rain hits the water.”

              “You sound just like Kara,” Lena smiled noticing Kara’s cheeks turn a light shade of pink, “she talks about Midvale with so much love, and there’s all these photos she has of her and her family, and I’m just so excited to finally see it!”

              “You’ll love it, my mother always said that if you swam out far enough into the water, you could touch the sun,” Celia smiled sheepishly, “although it isn’t _really_ possible, that’s always what I tell people.” Her eyes glistened in a way that most people of a certain age would have usually already lost. It was a look of youth and certainty despite the wrinkles at her eyes and mouth that told of a life well lived.

              “No, I like that,” the corner of Lena’s mouth rose, “my mom used to tell me the same things.”

              “Do you like to swim?” Celia asked.

              “I’m not too fond of the water,” Lena straightened her posture, and gave a sharp nod, “it’s nice to look at, but I’d rather not be in it.”

              “You could always warm your toes in the sand with a good book,” Kara interrupted, noticing the defensive tone that appeared in Lena’s voice which always seemed to whenever she was trying to hide something from herself.

              “She’s right!” Celia smiled, “So, Lena, what’s a city girl like you going to Midvale for?” the older woman quizzed.

              “Kara’s showing me her hometown-“ Lena replied.

              Celia’s face lit up, as her eyes darted between the two younger women, “ _is_ she now?”

              “I- uh- well Lena is my best friend and it’s a little boring in the city at this time of year,” Kara said.

              Celia nodded, “what’s just happened to that poor Luthor girl is awful.”

              “Yeah, I saw it on the news.” Kara slowly nodded, lying, meeting the worry of Lena’s eyes. She wondered if Celia was aware of who she was sitting opposite, but Lena looked different. Her bruise was covered by her dark hair and Kara’s grey jumper was a little baggy on Lena, but she didn’t seem to mind. Lena could’ve been any other young woman in the world that someone would pass on the street and take another look back for any other reason that wasn’t her family name – her intense sea glass green eyes, her dark hair, and how each feature of her face enhanced her eyes in such an unassuming way.

              “Well, it’s best to be away from the trouble and at least you have each other!” There was a mischievous tone to Celia’s words, as if she knew something they didn’t, “I hope you guys have a great time _together._ ”

              “Thank you,” Lena smiled.

              Celia stood, eager to get back to work, she had barely left the table when she quickly turned around, “Food! What I can get you guys?”

              “I’ll have a double cheeseburger and fries please,” Kara smiled, barely missing a beat.

              “Ketchup on one side of the bun and mayo on the other,” Celia smirked, pointing the tip of her pencil at the blonde woman, “and a Vanilla shake?”

              “The good old usual, it still gets me how you always remember, thank you.” Kara smiled.

              “What about you, darling?” Celia asked, directing her attention to Lena.

              “Just coffee please,” Lena said.

              “Any milk or sugar?” Celia queried.

              “A little bit of milk, please.” Lena nodded.

              “Got it!” Celia wrote the orders down on a small notepad with an even smaller pencil.

              “Thank you so much,” Lena smiled, and Celia disappeared to the back of the diner. Lena leaned forward and rested an elbow on the table, and her chin on top of a small fist. “She’s nice,” she smiled, “is everyone this nice in Midvale?”

              “Most people,” Kara beamed, with her eyes toward the table. She turned over what Lena was colouring before they arrived – a scene from a safari with animals such as elephants, giraffes and lions, “nice work, Picasso.”

              Lena blushed, fiddling with one of the white paper napkins, “I mean, I prefer Frida Kahlo, Georgia O’Keeffe and Edith Somerville, but I’ll take it.”

              Kara relaxed into the worn red leather of the booth, remembering how stiff the leather sofa of Lena’s penthouse was, and she crossed her arms. “I bet you do – I didn’t have you down for a lover of paintings.”

              “I used to love it all, and I loved to paint.” Lena dismissed the idea, “I haven’t had much time for it so-” she shrugged at the memory. “It’s kind of like you and your photographs; it’s still the capturing of a feeling and a moment, just in a different way.”

              “That’s beautiful, maybe you should take up writing,” at Lena’s light scoff, Kara took the two other placemats from the other side of the booth and turned them over to reveal identical mazes. “I’ll race you?”

              “Bold of you to assume it’ll even be a race since I’ll be the one winning.”

              “Careful Luthor, that’s fighting talk. You better be able to back it up.”

              “We’ll see who wins, _Super_.”

              Kara held out two crayons, one red, and the other blue. “Choose your weapon,”

              Lena took the red one, “blue’s more your colour-”

              Kara smiled, as both women positioned the crayons at the starting line of each of the mazes, “three, two, one!”

              Lena finished the maze before Kara had made it past the first blocked corner. There was a slight look of satisfaction written on Lena’s face, from the way the right corner of her mouth upturned into a curve, whilst her eyes watched Kara’s furrowed brow and pursed lips try to complete a maze for children. Looking up to see Lena’s smug face, the blonde woman frowned again, “You totally cheated!”

              The dark-haired woman’s signature left eyebrow rose, “You mean I _won_?”

              Kara pouted, “We’ll see who wins next time,”

              Celia rounded the corner with the tray of food, laying their drinks in front of them, as well as Kara’s food, and a plate of fries for Lena.

              “Oh, Celia, I didn’t-” Lena began.

              “It’s on the house, kid.” Celia interrupted, “I thought about bringing you pie and ice cream, but I knew she’d probably steal it.”

              “In my defence, that was _one_ time-” Kara quickly clarified.

              Celia raised an eyebrow to her, scoffing, “yeah, right!”

              “Thank you so much,” Lena smiled. Once Celia had left, her attention quickly shifted back to Kara, “So, pie thief, huh?”

              The blonde woman took a sip of her milkshake and let out an exasperated sigh, “Alex went outside, and it was practically criminal to let the pie cool whilst the ice cream melted, so-” she shrugged, “someone had to eat it.”

              Lena laughed, “I agree with you there,”

              “I knew you would.”

              “Well you make perfect sense,” Lena added, stirring the milk into her coffee.

              Kara’s eyes sparkled, “I knew there was a reason I liked you. Please, tell me more.”

              Lena shrugged, “I’ll tell you that you were right to choose this diner,” she smirked, picking at the fries, silently grateful that Celia had given them to her.

              Kara took two of the empty paper sauce pots and laid them in front of her, “Okay, then you’re going to love this,” she met Lena’s confused gaze, “I promise.” She layered ketchup and mayonnaise in each of the tubs, and pushed one towards Lena, “Now, just mix it with one of your fries and you’ve got yourself a perfect dip for any occasion, specifically fries.”

              Lena’s eyes narrowed toward the odd concoction, “I’ll try it.” After dipping one of her fries in the sauce Kara created, she tried to cover both her surprise and glee from the blonde woman’s hopeful ocean-like eyes. “Okay so you’re clearly the Ina Garten of sauces”

              Kara let out a hearty laugh, “keep that in mind next time I cook,”

              “I said _sauce_ , not food.” Lena dipped another fry into the sauce, that she silently thought of as another crazy invention by Kara.

              “You’re just upset I was right again.” Lena rolled her eyes at Kara’s suggestion.

              Kara took another photo with the Polaroid. She wilfully stopped eating and positioned her food for the photo. Once it developed, she quickly glanced at it, seeing the top of Lena’s head cut from the photo, but her huge grin had managed to sneak into the image, and when Kara placed it back into her bag, she smiled to herself.

              The two women talked whilst they finished their food and shared more laughs with each other. When they were about to leave the diner, Lena paid despite Kara’s desperate plea against it. Whether the cashier noticed her last name on her credit card or not, wasn’t obvious and she was internally grateful for that, especially after Celia had spoken of the trouble in National City. By this time, the diner was almost empty, and Kara, the lover of photos, asked if the cashier could take their photo with Celia, which he immediately did. Celia then made sure to usher the two younger women together for a photo by themselves, and once the two developed, Kara wrote on the space at the bottom of the square images again. So, they eventually left the diner, and Kara left with barely any film in the camera, but her bag full of developed photos, and to her, it was always the sign of a good time.

 

\---

 

              They quickly climbed back into the car and headed for Midvale. Lena was quiet, and since they had a little over an hour and a half left, Kara didn’t want to spend the time in silence with the dark-haired woman staring blankly out of the window.

              “What is it?” Kara asked.

              “Wha- nothing. Just admiring the view,” Lena said, her voice devoid of any tone.

              “It’s pitch black outside,” Kara responded. “There’s nothing to see.”

              “It’s just-” Lena sighed, “I still feel so betrayed.”

              Kara nodded, she knew there was no way that she would be able to make it up to her friend, and a part of her wanted to try regardless, “I’m so sorry for my part, Lena.”

              “Time after time, people have taken what they wanted from me, and used me and I still-” the brunette woman shrugged off her honesty, “I don’t know anymore.” Lena inhaled a sharp breath, gesturing with her hands as she spoke, “It’s just all of this with Lex and I want to be okay with you Kara, I really do. Every time I talk to you, you make me laugh and it’s just like normal... The holidays have been fantastic and you’re still the same person I knew but every time I think about the lies, there’s this nagging feeling that tells me it was all a ploy.”

              “I can promise you it wasn’t.” That was all Kara could think of saying, Lena’s feelings were beyond expected and valid, and there was no real way around the situation, “I’ve never wanted to hurt you.” She thought to herself, _I could never intentionally hurt you_.

              “I’m trying my best, but after experiencing it for a lifetime-” Kara opened her mouth to speak, and Lena quickly silenced her before she could say anything, “I think I’ll try and sleep for a bit.” Lena turned toward the window again and rested her head in the crook of her elbow.

              Kara wondered if what Lena had said earlier was true, she mentioned that she had let her guard down because of her best friend, and for a moment, Kara wondered if this was her fault. If Lena’s attention was on L-Corp, she would’ve noticed the problem sooner, she wouldn’t have gotten hurt and ultimately, they wouldn’t have had to leave National City, with Lena acting like a fugitive. Kara’s hands tightened around the steering wheel. “ _You’ve broke me,_ ” Kara remembered. Those were the simplest words that had left Lena’s mouth on the day in Kara’s apartment, and Lena’s candour still haunted the blonde woman. Something had to be done about Lex, and she concluded that she was going to be the person who brought him down, even if it killed her, she owed Lena that much, at the very least.

              It was quiet whilst Kara drove, and she thought of putting the radio on for a little while on the lowest volume, but she thought that Lena might wake up and she was sleeping so peacefully that she didn’t want to disturb her. As the car passed the streetlights overhead, their orange hue illuminated the car and the white gold acorn necklace on Lena’s neck, and Kara couldn’t stop looking at how perfect the orange tone seemed to be on her skin.

 

              Until she reached an intersection with traffic lights in every direction.

 

              Kara hadn’t been paying too much attention to the road, as she told herself she knew it like the back of her hand, and as such, didn’t require her _full_ attention. Her mind was too preoccupied sifting through buried thoughts, and future plans, and her eyes kept darting back to Lena.

              So, instead of bringing the car to a gentle stop at the red light, she slammed her foot on the brake pedal once she noticed that the light had changed. It was lucky she did stop, as a few cars quickly sped past in the opposite direction they were travelling in.

              Lena was jolted awake immediately by the heavy braking and steadied herself with a hand on the dashboard. After a few worried glances out of the window, she gently placed her hand on Kara’s knee, “Oh my god, Kara, are you okay?” Her eyes searched the woman in the driver’s seat who was staring blankly ahead, “Are you tired? Do you want coffee?” Lena thought for a moment, and patted Kara’s knee in an absentminded matter, “we should get coffee.”

              Kara let out the breath she had been holding, and lightly shook her head, “I’m fine, coffee. Coffee would be good.”

              Keeping her eyes firmly fixed on Kara as they left the highway, Lena saw how she started to fiddle with the golden thimble necklace that she had given her at Christmas, and she thought of asking what was on _her_ mind. After going through the drive-through instead of having to leave the warmth of the car, they parked in front of the fast food restaurant, both with coffee in hand. Neither spoke whilst they sipped the hot caffeinated liquid.

              “Do you need to rest? Do you want to switch? I can drive.” Lena offered.

              Although Kara wasn’t the _best_ driver by any means, she didn’t know if Lena was attentive enough, or if she was any worse than herself, if it was somewhat possible. “I’m good, really. There isn’t much of the drive left.”

              Lena nodded, “Okay.”

              Caffeine didn’t affect Lena in the way she had hoped, which was the intention of watching the road for Kara too and being an extra pair of eyes. Instead, she drifted back to sleep whilst the sweet warmth of the coffee warmed her body. Luckily Kara kept her eyes fixed on the road as she drove the rest of the way.

 

\---

 

              It was a grateful and welcoming sight when Kara passed what she knew to be the long road lined with pine trees. They had stopped twice making the drive a little longer than normal, but the trees allowed her to know she was almost there. When she pulled off the main road toward the home, she breathed a sigh of relief. Then the car finally made its way onto the paved driveway. The light slate grey panelled home with its white siding looked even better than she already knew it to look for some reason, despite being dark outside. The porch lights had been switched on, and there were lights illuminating the windows at the front of the home, and all Kara thought of was how the small details were Eliza’s own subtle way of saying _welcome home._

              Kara looked to Lena wondering if she had noticed it too, but her head was towards the inside of the car, resting on the armrest in the middle with one arm clutching her legs toward her chest. She looked so content in sleep, and completely unaware of the world around her. The blonde woman put the car in park, and gently closed the car door, she went to the boot to take out the many bags that had been loaded perfectly like a game of Tetris. Her eyes caught the familiar silhouette of Eliza, waving, in the front doorway, with the welcoming lights of home behind her.

              Kara placed the bags at the entrance hall of the front door and gave Eliza a quick hug. “Alex said you were bringing-“ Eliza began, as she surveyed the number of bags, confusion written on her face.

              “Lena,” Kara breathed, “she fell asleep on the way here, I thought I’d drop the bags off first.”

              “I’ll take them upstairs” Eliza offered, going to grab one of the handles.

              “I’ll do it,” Kara insisted, “I’ll go get Lena first.” The young blonde woman turned to the direction of the car, and her head quickly turned back to Eliza, “Alex – I need to tell Alex we’re here-”

              “I’ll call her,” Eliza said, and Kara nodded, heading for the front door.

              Kara quickly went back outside after Eliza had greeted her. She opened the door on the passenger side of the car and leaned over Lena as she slowly unbuckled her seatbelt. For a moment, she was glad Lena wasn’t resting against the door anymore, as she feared waking her up. The blonde woman placed a gentle hand around the small of Lena’s back, and another under her knees. She lifted her carefully out of the car, making sure not to disturb what seemed to be such a peaceful sleep. Following a small muffled groan from Lena as Kara held her outside of the car, she ran her thumb over Lena’s arm as the dark-haired woman’s head fell slowly into Kara’s chest, “You’re okay, I’ve got you,” she whispered into the mess of dark tangles. Kara lightly kicked the car door to close and she held Lena in her arms as she walked back up the drive of the home she was finally returning to.

              She carefully walked through the door and up the stairs, hearing the one middle step creak with her weight as it always did. When she entered her old bedroom, it was clear Eliza had just cleaned, with a strong scent of citrus throughout. Once Kara placed Lena on her old bed, the familiar lavender detergent that Kara had bought because of Eliza was like another welcome home. It didn’t matter that Lena had insisted on Alex’s old bed, to Kara, hers was the most comfortable anyway. She unlaced Lena’s trainers and took her shoes off, putting them onto the light hardwood floors next to the bed. The cream coloured knitted blanket that sat at the bottom of the bed caught Kara’s attention, and she unfolded the blanket and draped it over Lena.

              After quietly bringing their bags upstairs, and placing them by the window seat, she saw that Lena had turned over, gripping the blanket as she slept. Kara padded down the wooden stairs, and went to the kitchen to see Eliza, who had already put the kettle on. At the sight of her youngest daughter, Eliza immediately pulled her into a hug which Kara didn’t know she needed. Eliza held on to Kara a little longer than normal, as if she was completely aware of what Kara needed, and she always was, Eliza _always_ knew what her daughters needed.

              “Is she still asleep?” Eliza asked, pouring two cups of camomile tea for them both.

              They moved to sit together at the white wooden kitchen table. “Yeah,” Kara weakly smiled, “she hasn’t slept properly for weeks so I didn’t want to disturb her.” Her hands wrapped around the mug of tea, as she inhaled the floral aroma of camomile, “I’m hoping she can relax and the time away will... keep her safe. I hope this will be good for her.”

              Eliza took a sip of her tea, “and you.” There were thoughts behind Kara’s eyes that she couldn’t manage to decode, and an air of complete worry that she seemed to radiate, more so when her face would change when the young blonde woman would look anywhere else but her adopted mother.

              “Yeah, I don’t really know if she’s totally sold on the idea of me being here with her, but-”

              “I bet she’s secretly glad you’re here,” Eliza reassured. Her voice was so melodic and calming, and for a small moment, Kara couldn’t help but believe her.

              “She knows about me being Supergirl, Eliza, and she didn't take it well… but I hope so.” Kara stared off toward the window, watching the moonlight ripple along the water. She listened to it crashing against the shore and heard Lena’s indistinct snores in between; light and soft, allowing Kara to know she was still asleep. 

              “Kara-” Eliza snapped her attention back into the present.

              Kara cleared her throat, “Sorry I was just-”

              Eliza gave her daughter a searching look, “I know, honey, believe me, _I know_.”

              “I’m so worried about her. I don’t understand how anyone could want to hurt her, she never asked for this life,” Kara’s eyes began to prick with tears as Eliza moved toward her and pulled her into a hug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if you liked this!! My personal favourite bit was Kara taking Lena out of the car and into the house because it’s so soft and so endearingly Kara Danvers, but that's just me.
> 
> Also come say hi on Twitter!! I’m @outislanders
> 
> P.S. I won't be updating for a little over a week since I've got some uni revision to do which is supposedly 'important' so I hope you guys have a great week!!


	10. With Fervour In Your Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi lmao it's me hope y'all are doing well after that reveal (I'm not) but supercorp is endgame so we're really gonna win.  
> ALSO PLEASE REMEMBER: Lena said "Supergirl may have saved me, but Kara Danvers, _you_ are _my_ hero."  
>  Like that's actually canon so I can't wait for them to kiss and get married and rule National City together like the power couple they are whilst Lena wears three piece suits everyday and then Kara gets suits too so they can match and the suits will be variations of red and blue since that's literally their colours okay bye.

               Kara woke to the sunlight filtering through the thin curtains and she couldn’t help but feel completely refreshed. Despite the wish to close her eyes and sleep for a little longer, morning was here, and she was ready for it. Seeing Eliza had made her feel content, safe in a way knowing that she was within the same home as her. Maybe it was being in a different bed, the remnants of salt air in the room from previously opened windows, Kara didn’t know, all she knew was that she was going to make the most of the time she had back home, especially with Lena.

               The blonde woman threw her quilt back and sat up, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. She looked over to the bed to her right and Lena’s hair was slightly tangled but her face was completely smooth and even in sleep. One of her arms was under the pillow, and the other beneath her cheek, and she looked so peaceful, as if sleep was some sort of miraculous escape for her. Kara stood and gently pulled the quilt back over her own bed, patting it into place. The blanket that she had placed over the dark-haired woman the night before was barely covering her feet, and Kara knew how much Lena hated it when her feet were cold, so she pulled lightly on the excess knitted material, placing it back where her friend would be more comfortable. When she left the bedroom, she made sure not to close the door all of the way, in case the malevolent click of the door dared to disturb Lena. She padded downstairs barefoot, again savouring the small creak in the bottom step, making her way to the kitchen.

               “Hi,” Kara yawned, her eyes still hazy with sleep.

               Eliza’s smile was another relief for the younger blonde woman, “Hi sweetheart, how are you?”

               “I’m good,” Kara inhaled a slow breath, “I’m really happy to be back.”

               “Good. I’ve got to rush to work, but breakfast is in the oven, it’s still warm.” Eliza kissed the top of Kara’s head, “I’ll see you both when I come home, I’m desperate to speak to Lena.”

               “We’ll be right here,” Kara watched Eliza collect her things and when she looked up, she saw the faint worry in Eliza’s eyes, “love you.”

               Eliza smiled, and hugged her daughter before she left, “Love you more.”

               Kara would have happily waited for Lena to wake up before making a start on breakfast, but it was past eight in the morning, and there were no signs that she was going to wake up any time soon. The blonde woman opened the oven, her face beaming when she saw Eliza had made frittata for breakfast. Usually Kara would eat cereal, or bagels as she was normally rushing around trying to get to work on time, but now she could actually enjoy something that had been made carefully, and properly. She reached for the oven mitts, and took the dish out of the oven, not that she needed the mitts of course, but it was a habit, nonetheless. She took one of the corner pieces, and poured herself a glass of orange juice, the expensive type that Eliza knew Kara loved, and returned to the white wooden kitchen table to eat.

\---

               “Good morning,” Lena ran a hand through her knotted dark hair, still wearing Kara’s light grey ‘National City University’ jumper. She noticed the black framed glasses Kara always wore still perched on the end of her nose. Even at home, with no one around, she chose to wear to them, but Lena surmised it wasn’t her place to ask questions.

               “Morning,” Kara gestured with her almost empty glass of orange juice.

               “Where’s Eliza?” Lena asked.

               “She’s already left to go to work.”

               “I need to say hi to her,” she yawned, bringing her hand to meet her mouth a second too late, “I don’t even know how I got to bed,”

               Kara shrugged, a playful smile dancing on her lips, “magic.”

               Lena exhaled a deep breath through her nose, “seems like it.”

               “How did you sleep?”

               “Better than I expected. I must’ve really needed it.” Lena smiled, and Kara knew she was right when she insisted that her own bed was much more comfortable than Alex’s.

               “You can go back to bed if you want. I called Alex from the landline and the agent from the DEO isn’t coming to collect the car for another few hours, so we’re kind of stuck inside for a little bit.”

               “I’m alright, I don’t think I’ll need to sleep again for another week,” Lena nodded as her eyes roamed the kitchen, finding their way back to Kara, “did you have something planned?”

               “It’s been forever since I’ve been back in Midvale, and it is a lovely day,” the blonde gestured to the window, “so I thought we could take a walk on the beach.”

               Lena's eyebrow raised in question, “ _We_?”

               “I- if you want. There won’t be anyone around, most people are at work at this time of day.”

               Lena sighed, “You’re making me feel like I should be back at work. I’ll have to decide on a new person for CatCo, Sam will need a break, tax forms need to be filled out-” she stopped herself from rambling on. In a way, this was the vacation all of her friends had told Lena she needed, even if the circumstances that created the immediate need were less than favourable, she wanted to make the most of it.

               “Tell me about it,” Kara sighed, resting her head on her hands as her eyes met Lena’s, a playful smile forming on her lips, “my boss is gonna fire me.”

               “Mhm, well I don’t know about _your_ boss, but I would be okay with it.”

               Kara laughed, “yeah, I suppose I’d have to see what happens.”

               “Right,” Lena tapped her finger lightly on the table, “well we can’t stay here indoors all day.”

               “We’ll be careful, I promise.”

               “It’s just-” she massaged her temples, “after yesterday with Celia, I’m not entirely sure being here is the best course of action. People tend to talk, Kara.” Lena muttered in a professional manner.

               “It won’t be for long,” Kara gently reminded her.

               “I know, but surely it’s only a matter of time before-” the brunette shook her head and smiled, “no, you’re right.”

               “You’ll be back in the city in no time.”

               “Yeah, but I’m excited to see this place too!” Lena beamed.

               ”Are you hungry?” Kara asked.

               “That depends,” Lena’s head tilted to the side, “who made breakfast?”

               “Eliza-”

               “Then I guess I _am_ hungry, and it smells fantastic.”

               The blonde woman let out a hearty laugh, “Great. I’ll ignore the minor insult to my cooking, if you want to sit down for a bit.”

               The brunette shook her head, “I just woke up, I’ll do it.”

               Kara finished the remnants of her drink, “No, let me.”

               “It’s just heating it up and believe it or not I _can_ manage that much,” Lena quipped.

               “We can do it together,” Kara suggested.

               Although it would’ve taken a mere few minutes to heat the frittata and make whichever drink Lena favoured for breakfast, she was more than grateful at Kara’s slight insistence, “why not?”

               Kara walked into the kitchen, taking a mug from the cupboard, questioning as she gestured the mug toward Lena, “Coffee?”

               “Bl-” Lena began.

               “Black, I know,” Kara interrupted.

               They made the breakfast together, Kara on drinks whilst Lena set the frittata to heat in the oven. Kara switched the coffee pot on, and she poured herself another glass of orange juice whilst she waited for the caffeinated liquid to brew. After a few minutes, she returned to sit with Lena, placing the cup of coffee in front of her. Lena practically sprinted to the oven when the timer rang through the kitchen, quickly serving herself the food Eliza had made.

               The brunette returned with a full plate, grinning, immediately trying the food on her plate once she sat down. “This is fantastic, your mom should open a restaurant.” Lena satisfyingly hummed, taking another bite of the frittata.

               Kara took a sip of her orange juice, “Homemade food always wins.”

               “It really does.”

\---

               Once the agent from the DEO had come to collect the car, Kara reluctantly returned the keys to the black Land Rover. It was a new model, and she absolutely adored the new car smell that she could have sworn followed both her and Lena into the house. Regardless, a car wasn’t overly necessary in Midvale – most places could be accessed on foot, but it was nice to have the option even if it was only for a few hours. The blonde woman knew that if she were to ask to borrow Eliza’s car, she would be more than happy to allow Kara to drive it, even if she didn’t believe her driving was overly safe.

               Lena came back downstairs after showering, bundled in a black cashmere sweater, a little too long in the sleeves, making only the tips of her fingers visible, and a pair of midnight blue jeans that Kara was surprised she even owned. Her hair was still slightly damp after being dried with a towel, and fell about her shoulders, almost dark enough to blend into her sweater.

               Kara’s jumper along with a few of Lena’s other clothes and a towel were draped over the dark-haired woman’s right arm, “Can I put some of this in the laundry?”

               “Of course, I’ll take it,” the blonde woman stood, collecting the bundle of clothes from her friend, “I don’t think there’s enough for the washing machine just yet, but I’ll add it to the basket.”

               “Thank you,” Lena smiled in return, the gratitude from such a small act of kindness etched onto her face.

               Kara swiftly returned with her university jumper, “You don’t have to wash this, you’ve only worn it for a day,” she passed it back to Lena.

               Lena lightly scoffed and brought the sweater up to her face once Kara was back in the kitchen fiddling with the coffee pot, hoping to prove that it did need washing. Instead, she inhaled the faint scent she had often associated with Kara and the smell of her apartment still lingering in the cotton of the jumper – lavender detergent and _Kara_. The entirety of the childhood home they were in had traces of lavender and citrus, but this was lavender and Kara, to which there was no true way for Lena’s mind to describe it, and despite the inability to do so, it had its own essence which was just as distinct as the other scents.

               The brunette folded the sweater, and exchanged it for the mug of coffee that Kara had given her once she returned, “If you want to take it back upstairs-”

               Kara nodded, refraining herself from telling Lena she was right after all. Leaving her friend with another cup of hot coffee, Kara quickly ran upstairs to shower and get ready herself. After a very short deliberation, she opted for a cream sweater and dark jeans, throwing a royal blue trench coat over the top. She was tying her honey-like hair into a loose ponytail when she walked back to the living room to see Lena.

               “Is your hair dry yet?” Kara asked.

               Lena’s brow furrowed, “Yeah-”

               The blonde woman pushed her glasses up, “I just didn’t hear the hairdryer before, and I don’t want you to catch a cold.”

               “I won’t.”

               Even with Lena’s hair down, and the subtle accompanying curls, Kara could see the light pink skin surrounding the brunette’s recent wound, “How’s your stitches?”

               Lena tilted her head toward the ceiling and wrinkled her nose and eyebrows, feeling no intense pull of the stitches. “Fine, I’ll ask Eliza if she can check it out tomorrow.” The answer seemed to mollify Kara, and her shoulders dropped, as Lena followed her to the back of the home.

               Kara opened the doors onto the patio, locking them once Lena was standing by her side. The scent of the salt air immediately hit the dark-haired woman as she wrinkled her nose again to the unfamiliar and clean air which was such a difference to National City’s constant overwhelming fumes from car exhausts. Lena could get used to this, at least for a little while, she thought, despite the desire to be elsewhere and to face her brother herself, she was here in Midvale, and she too was safe. From what she had seen so far, the town was beautiful, even though she hadn’t necessarily seen the main part of Midvale, if the place where Kara’s childhood home was anything to go by, nestled between pine trees and a sand covered beach, the rest of the town would be just as perfect.

               They walked down the garden; trampling over the short grass that was still slightly damp with the morning dew that travelled in from the sea. Kara quickly led them towards the left of the garden, both women stepping onto the pier that stood between the ocean and the land. Lena’s bright emerald eyes continued to absorb her surroundings. The wooden pier was slightly slippery, leading both Kara and Lena to slow their steps. Walking along the pier, the small boats with their triangular shaped sails roamed the horizon, resembling small birds amongst the vast expanse of the ocean. The air was colder in Midvale, just as they had expected, with the mix of the breeze that drifted from the sea, and the cold winter that hadn’t yet given way for spring, and even the warmth from the low sun was unable to fully combat the frigid temperature. There were no skyscrapers to act as a barrier between people and the world, and in some ways that’s why Kara loved Midvale so much – she didn’t have to pretend to be anyone else other than who she was.

               Once the pier veered towards the right, Kara took a small jump as she stepped off onto the rocks that separated the car park from the beach. She turned around and extended a hand for Lena who took it and jumped next to her, with a small thank you. When they approached the beach, both women removed their shoes, wriggling their toes in the cool sand. They walked side by side, with shoes dangling from their hands and swaying along with their arms, whilst their bare feet left footprints along the shell strewn coastline.

               The beach was practically deserted, apart from the odd person and their dog, playing fetch with luminous tennis balls. As Kara had mentioned, no one would notice either of the women, and no one did. Lena was grateful to have the opportunity to be somewhere she wasn’t known, although if she were to come into contact with someone, a part of her knew they would immediately be aware of her name, and her family’s history, but for now, the anonymity was a comforting thought. They continued to walk in silence along the dry sand, with Lena avoiding the water and walking to the left of Kara, if the blonde woman was aware, she certainly didn’t mention it. Pieces of driftwood and seaweed lined the denser sand, closest to the water, whilst seashells covered the path where they walked.

               Kara slowly fell behind Lena with her eyes fixed firmly on the ground, lightly kicking the sand as she hoped a seashell would catch her eye. It was something she would often do with Alex when they were younger, often picking up discarded pieces of rubbish, and plastic bottles that had been carelessly thrown aside, whilst hoping to find both shells and sea glass as they roamed the coast. Lena paused, bringing her hand to shield her eyes from the sunlight that was now warming her back, whilst she waited for Kara to catch up.

               “This one’s beautiful!” Kara held out a peach coloured patterned shell to Lena in an outstretched hand that fit perfectly in her palm. Lena’s left eyebrow rose in question, “Here, take it.”

               Lena narrowed her eyes at the remnants of the shell, it was broken at the bottom where it should have had a triangular edge and somehow had a small hole in the centre. She met Kara’s expectant eyes that matched the crystalline sky above in the bright sunshine, “It’s broken.”

               Kara shrugged, waving off Lena’s words with her other hand, “it’s still beautiful, only a little different.”

               Lena frowned, taking the shell from Kara, and turning it over in her own hands, as if seeing it in a new light, “Yeah, I suppose it is. Thank you.”

               The brunette received a triumphant lopsided grin from Kara, her eyes crinkling at the corners as she turned on her heels hoping to find more shells. There was something about the way in which Kara’s complete love of the world confused Lena. She wasn’t _completely_ cynical by any means, but the dark-haired woman’s wonder manifested itself to such an extent that she was unsure of how a person who had been knocked down so many times managed to keep getting back up with so much more fervour in her heart than before. Kara had so many admirable qualities, and Lena noticed more with every moment she spent with her. Once the blonde woman decided that she had disturbed the sand enough, the two women continued their walk along Midvale’s coast. They walked up sloping sand dunes, whilst thin blades of grass that was almost as high as Lena’s hips blew in the wind. Lena’s feet began to ache with each step, the effort to walk in loose sand was a lot more than she expected, but when her eyes darted to Kara and away again, the blonde woman seemed too focused on what was going on under her feet to warrant a conversation.

               Kara paused once she reached the top of one of the sand dunes, her hands resting at her hips, waiting for Lena who was only a few steps behind. Once Lena had caught up, her cheeks flushed a light shade of pink from the walk, and her heart racing with the unexpected effort, the blonde woman let out a deep breath. “Do you want to stop here for a little while?”

               “If you do,” Lena quickly replied. She would’ve happily continued walking despite her tired legs if her friend wanted to continue, and she would’ve been just as content taking a rest.

               As the blonde noticed Lena’s quiet exhaustion, Kara shrugged off her coat and lay it on the ground for both of them to sit down. Lena lowered herself onto the coat next to Kara and ran her fingers absentmindedly through the sand. She began taking handfuls of the sand and letting the grains fall slowly through the gaps in her fingers, watching as the wind thwarted its path toward the ground. The dark-haired woman immediately realised the calming effects a timer with sand seemed to have, silently telling herself that she should buy one for her office.

               Kara turned her head towards Lena who was busy watching the small boats pass along the horizon, her hands still fiddling with the sand. Each time she felt like her friendship with Lena was starting to be like it used to, before she lied, before Lena found out in the only way Kara could think of, another silence, and another look would flicker over Lena’s face to make any progress seem minimal. Kara understood it would take time, and she was willing to spend each second of her life trying to be the person Lena knew her as. “Are you okay?” The blonde woman asked.

               “I’m okay.” Lena replied, convincing neither of them.

\---

               The walk back to Kara’s childhood home seemed longer than normal. They had taken their time walking back down the sand dunes, as the weight of their feet somehow managed to cause small avalanches with every step each woman took. After the first few steps, Kara had taken Lena’s arm and looped it between her own, noticing the way Lena’s grip immediately tightened around her upper arm to stop herself from falling. It was starting to get colder, with threatening grey clouds slowly moving across the ocean towards the town, that would eventually engulf and hide the comforting warmth that the sunlight had given them.

               Their cheeks were bitten red with the cold once they returned to the house and Kara rushed to turn the heating up, noting the way her glasses immediately steamed up when they walked through the patio doors. When she padded back into the kitchen, Lena had already set the kettle to boil, and the blonde quickly turned on her heels, heading for the sofa.

               “Would you be able to get some boxes of teabags out?” Lena called.

               “They’re in the cupboard just above the kettle,” Kara replied.

               Lena opened the cupboard door, as she leaned on the tip of her toes, she scoffed to herself, frustratingly realising she was unable to reach the boxes of tea. “Kara-”

               “This is your home too Lena- for however long you need it to be, and even after.”

               “Um- I appreciate that, a lot, but I can’t reach the-”

               Kara craned her neck to look to Lena and let out a hearty laugh, as she rose from the light grey corner sofa, “I’ve got it.” She reached for the boxes of camomile and English breakfast tea, placing them both on the counter in front of Lena, “Didn’t you say you weren’t _that_ short yesterday?”

               Lena narrowed her eyes, “I think you’re imagining things, Kara.”

\---

               After both women decided on camomile tea, they sat in the living room, watching the rain fall outside, listening to the almost rhythmic tapping sounds it made on the patio. They luckily made it back to the house before the weather had changed. It was comforting to think that they weren’t outside during the storm, instead they were wrapped in knitted blankets that had usually been draped over the back of the sofa, and Kara had added wood to the fire, adding to the sense of cosiness with their hands tightly gripping hot cups of tea. Once Lena took the cups back to the kitchen and cleaned them, she looked through the bookshelf that was filled with almost every book imaginable, all of which she knew Kara must have read from cover to cover. She quickly chose a copy of _The Great Gatsby_ , returning to sit next to Kara, pulling one of the blankets back over legs and bringing her knees to her chest.

               “Have you read that before?” Kara asked, her voice suddenly sounding desperate for sleep with her head resting on the sofa.

               “Once. I don’t really remember too much of it, but I remember it was good.”

               Kara nodded, “It’s one of my favourites.”

               Lena turned the book over in her hands. It looked well loved, with a fading cover, a few dog-eared pages, and a spine that had been broken. “In that case, if you’ve got such good taste, I’ll happily read whatever you suggest next.”

               “Are you a quick reader?”

               Lena shrugged, “I can be.”

               “Okay, I’ll keep you to that then.” Kara unwrapped herself from one of the blankets and went to collect her laptop, as if the sleep that radiated from her voice earlier was magically gone.

               “You’re not working, are you?” Lena asked, with one eyebrow raised, and a slight judgemental tone in her voice.

               “No, nothing like that.”

               The dark-haired woman’s attention quickly focused back to the book in her hands, with the intermittent sounds of Kara typing and Lena softly turning the pages filling the silences. When Eliza came home and greeted Lena with a hug, the immediate relief was evident on her face, but Kara noticed the way Lena’s eyes had somehow lost their shine, and the way that her smile didn’t quite manage to reach her eyes either. If Eliza had noticed, she didn’t allow either of them to know. After a quick agreement, they decided to make lasagne for dinner, and Eliza left Kara and Lena to chop onions, and grate cheese whilst she quickly showered and changed out of her white hospital scrubs.

               “So, how have you two been?” Eliza asked, peeking over Lena’s shoulder, who was busy browning onions in one of the pans.

               Kara added the minced beef to the pan and her eyes met Lena’s face with a slight frown, noticing an unreadable expression on the brunette’s face, “Good, we took a walk on the beach.”

               “Great!” Eliza placed a gentle hand on Lena’s shoulder, making her jump slightly, “You guys sit down, I’ve got this.”

               Lena nodded and moved to set the kitchen table after being directed to the cutlery draw by Kara. Kara poured them a glass of red Sicilian wine each and set them at the places Lena had laid out. Once Eliza had finished assembling the lasagne and placed it into the oven, she sat opposite the two other women, one of which was already making quick work of her wine. She spoke mainly to Lena, trying to ease the tension that was written on her face, despite Lena’s feeble attempt to hide it. The timer interrupted the three of them with the shrill sound announcing the food was ready. They all stood, taking their plates to the counter for generous servings of the lasagne that smelled much more divine than it did when it was cooking, and immediately gathered around the table again.

               “So, have you guys managed to talk to Sam, or Alex yet?”

               “I called Alex earlier on to find out when the DEO would collect the car, but since we had to leave our phones in National City, I don’t have Sam’s number memorised.” Kara scoffed to herself, “You kind of forget how reliant you are on phones without them.”

               Eliza exchanged a quick glance with her daughter, “What about you, Lena?"

               Lena took another sip of her red wine, “This lasagne is wonderful by the way!” She placed her glass down, meeting Eliza’s eyes, “Not yet, I was hoping to call Sam in the morning…” her words trailed off as she wondered when she would next see her friend. The brunette began mindlessly picking at the lasagne with her fork, she hadn’t eaten it since Sam had brought her some when she was at L-Corp, after deciding that throwing herself into work was the best solution to still her mind that thought about nothing but every moment spent with Supergirl, who she finally knew to be Kara. It wasn’t that the memory of the lie was inching its way back into Lena’s mind; in truth, that memory hadn’t completely left her, it was the weeks spent drinking, and the time spent in her self-imposed isolation.

               “I think she might visit when Alex does,” Kara interrupted, as if managing to read Lena’s thoughts.

               The brunette nodded, forcing herself to perk up slightly, “It’s absolutely beautiful here, Eliza, and so is your home. Thank you so much for allowing me to stay-”

               “This will always be your home too, Lena,” Eliza smiled, tapping Lena’s hand with her own. It was exactly what Kara had already told her and to hear it again made Lena relax a little more into her chair.

               After Eliza’s words had managed to soften Lena’s strange demeanour, the rest of the night passed with a joyful tone, and the homemade lasagne with its bubbling cheese on top made it all the better. Since neither of the woman had seen Eliza after Christmas, they spent the majority of the time together sharing stories from the surprise New Year’s Eve party they had thrown at Lena’s penthouse, and how busy work had been for the two of them. Kara did the dishes whilst Lena dried them and put each plate and piece of cutlery back in their respective places throughout the kitchen. No one mentioned the events that had led to them needing to be in Midvale, Eliza had seen the live coverage of L-Corp’s announcement on the news, and Alex had filled the gaps that weren’t covered, and besides, there was no actual necessity, at least not whilst laughs were being shared.

               After both women said goodnight to Eliza who was reading a medical journal in the living room, Kara trailed behind Lena up the dark wooden staircase, and as Lena carried on to the bedroom, Kara veered off to the bathroom to brush her teeth.

               The brunette reached for the light switch when she opened the door to the blonde’s old bedroom, her eyes slowly adjusting to the lowly lit room. Last night Lena had been unable to fully appreciate the old bedroom, somehow unaware of how she even made it upstairs. She noticed there was a slightly raised level to the right-hand side with a rainbow zigzag patterned rug and a window seat that spanned the entire length of the window, decorated with multi-coloured cushions and full bookshelves with the odd knickknack on both walls surrounding the largest source of natural light in the bedroom. Lena loved the way the room captured the nature of both Alex and Kara, with their different ornaments and photos above each bed, but it was the way the room seemed to relate back to the beach that she really appreciated. The shade of seafoam green walls and white wainscoting easily resembled the beach outside that Lena had seen out of the window when she woke up that morning. It was different to the starkness of her own bedroom in the penthouse where she had full authority in terms of decoration and pretty much everything else, and regardless, she left it in a way she was comfortable – neutral and blank. Being in a room that resembled someone she knew was a different feeling of comfort, an almost reassurance, and for a moment Lena wondered whether she would ever have personal items scattered throughout her own home, or if they really were just the inconvenience she had come to believe. When she made her way back to the bed furthest from the door, she noticed the small wooden ‘K’ on the white bookshelf by the octagonal shaped window which she knew stood for Kara, and Lena let out a small chuckle, her friend had told her that her old bed was the comfiest, and although the mandala patterned bedsheets were different variations of turquoise and lilac, Lena knew the blonde woman had given up her own bed. Not too surprisingly, Kara had also left her ‘National City University’ sweater by the foot of the bed for Lena, and she was grateful her friend didn’t want it back _just_ yet.

               Returning to her bedroom, Kara kept her back against the wall and lightly knocked on the white wooden door that was slightly ajar. She was immediately greeted by Lena who was already dressed in her pyjamas, midnight blue cotton shorts with small white and yellow stars, and a grey MIT t-shirt, with her toiletry bag in hand, and her signature raised eyebrow, “You know, this is _your_ bedroom, Kara.”

               Kara’s mouth fell open, her eyes fluttering, “I know but- I didn’t know if you were-”

               Lena laughed and shook her head, passing Kara as she headed for the bathroom. The blonde woman took her pyjamas from her wardrobe, opting for the flannel set she usually wore in summer – a light blue short-sleeved button-up with shorts, both adorned with cartoon versions of the sun wearing a pair of black sunglasses. She quickly noticed that Lena placed the shell that she had given her onto the glossy chalk-like nightstand next to her bed. The blonde woman had expected her to throw it to the other side of the ground, and let it be collected by someone else or even the tide if it were to become high enough, but instead, she kept it, which was a small caring gesture that Kara didn’t expect but adored all the same. She was already tucked in bed by the time Lena had returned.

               “Goodnight, Lena,” Kara said, her voice melodic in the silence, reaching for the light switch once her friend was in the adjacent twin bed.

               “Goodnight, Kara,” Lena whispered back, staring blankly at the ceiling as her eyes adjusted to the darkness.

               Kara woke to the muffled sounds of crying. She squinted at her alarm clock, telling her it was just after three in the morning. Immediately, she knew it was Lena. The blonde woman surmised that the brunette must have waited until she knew her friend was asleep before allowing herself to sob. For a moment Kara wondered if she should say something, anything. Instead, the ache in her chest grew larger, _Lena wouldn’t want you to notice_ , she told herself. In Kara’s mind, Lena waited for complete stillness for a reason, she once read that it was more noble to pretend that you didn’t notice someone’s cries when they tried to hide them than it was to voice a word of comfort.

               Lena, only in her early twenties, had experienced more pain in her life than anyone should have had to endure. For the time that Kara had known Lena, everything she did, every time she tried to show the world that she was so much more than they thought, she was knocked down. There always seemed to be a change in Lena once the day turned into night, as if her entire past somehow caught up with her in the hours of darkness. Kara’s own eyes began to fill with tears from the sounds of Lena’s, and her mind drifted back to the moment she heard Lena’s sobs when she left her apartment. Kara balled her hands into fists to restrain herself from turning around, from rushing to hug Lena whilst she cried in the same way she had done so many times before. She wondered if given the opportunity, her bones would shatter from the sheer force alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so my exams are almost done which means I have nothing to do and can update these like every 3-4 days because it's for my own sanity during this hiatus whilst we wait for the ICONIC content we'll get during SDCC, let's be real it'll be supercorp central, here's hoping miss McGrath wears that awesome rainbow sequined jacket she bought last year *initiates prayer circle*.
> 
> Come say hi on twitter if you like! I'm @outislanders


	11. And Even In Darkness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I have no idea how it's been almost a month since I've updated this but uhh here we go again  
> Happy Supercorp Sunday too! It's also been a month since the reveal episode so maybe that broke me more than I care to admit and what about it

               A few days passed, with the women completing the same walk through the beach and back again, and each night it was the same. Working at such a predictable rate which was like clockwork, Kara would wake to Lena’s muffled sobs at around three in morning. One night, it was the first time she had been unable to sleep, and she heard Lena walk from the bedroom to the bathroom instead, her cries coming from there until she padded back to the bedroom after what seemed like an hour, quietly drifting off to sleep, and waking again a few hours later.

               Kara’s back was toward the door of the bedroom, and she eased her eyes open, slowly focusing on Lena, who was clutching a photo in one hand. She pretended not to notice the way Lena had waited until she thought the blonde woman had fallen asleep _again_ , and the way Lena covered her mouth with her hand to suppress her cries, the way her heartbeat rose, and her breaths became short. Kara wondered how many other nights Lena had cried herself to sleep, how many nights she had spent awake wishing to be told it was going to be okay, the nights wishing someone would hold her whilst she cried and subsequently slept. _How many nights did Lena need more_? She thought. 

               The rustling of the bedsheets next to Lena made her suppress a sob, and she quickly placed the photo she was holding back under her pillow. Kara reached over for her glasses and placed them back onto her face where they belonged. She threw the quilt back and bridged the gap between the beds, by moving to sit with her legs crossed on the floor at the side of Lena’s bed.

               “Hey,” Kara whispered.

               “Hi,” Lena replied weakly, turning to face Kara, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand, “terrible allergies this time of year-”

               Kara rested her chin on her folded hands on the side of Lena’s bed. “Do you want some hot chocolate?” Food was often Kara’s answer to anything – if she needed time to focus on something else entirely, she’d choose to dedicate tasks to herself such as baking or cooking because it took all of her attention to be sure nothing burned, and if successful, she also had something to eat which was an added bonus. The love of hot chocolate was something Eliza and Alex had passed on to Kara, when she was younger. One day when she had first arrived on Earth and decided to stay outside on the porch late into the night when the sky was clear, she’d try her best to find Krypton; knowing the light would still reach Earth because it was so far, it hadn’t yet been destroyed. When Eliza had sat with her after respecting Kara’s wish to be alone, she brought two mugs of hot chocolate with her, which was a small gesture Kara loved, and she allowed her to ramble on about Krypton and she just _listened_. They didn’t have hot chocolate the way Eliza made it on Krypton, and it was one of the first times Kara remembered feeling as if eventually, things might be okay.

               The brunette shook her head, her loose dark hair following her movements. “No, not really. I think I’m just going to go to sleep.”

               “I’m going to get some,” Kara replied gently, “it would make sense to bring two cups ... and it really _is_ the best hot chocolate in the world.”

               Instead of asking why she would crave it at three in the morning, the brunette agreed, pulling her knees to her chest. “It’s a little late but okay.”

               “Hot chocolate is perfect any time of day or night!” The blonde beamed as she stood, “Do you mind if I put the small lamp on?” Lena shook her head, and Kara switched the lamp on and smiled before leaving the bedroom.

               Kara padded down to the kitchen as quietly as she could, trying not to disturb Eliza with her usual heavy footsteps. Once she was in the kitchen, she quickly took out everything she needed from the cupboards and the fridge. She heated whole milk in a pan, adding broken pieces of milk chocolate, and a few pieces of dark chocolate, and gently stirred it. She added a small amount of vanilla extract to the mixture, deciding hazelnut would be too overwhelming since she decided to add dark chocolate which had its own distinct richness. The blonde woman poured the hot chocolate into two tall glass cups, adding a layer of mini pink and white marshmallows to Lena’s, and a swirl of whipped cream on the top of them both. After she added shavings of milk and white chocolate, she added extra marshmallows to the whipped cream and rushed upstairs, with two silver spoons.

               Lena was busy fiddling with the collar of her t-shirt when Kara returned, her head peeking around the open door before she walked in. She handed Lena the mug and spoon and sat on the dark-haired woman’s bed with her legs crossed. “I told you I’d make it for you one day!”

               “It’s quite remarkable,” Lena giggled, turning the mug in her hands and admiring the way Kara had decided to decorate it, although lovely, looked as if a child had been left alone with a whole bag of mini marshmallows.

               Kara was making quick work of the whipped cream, having already eaten the marshmallows that had decorated the entire drink. “Did I ever tell you that my hot chocolate is world famous?”

               “World famous, huh? I remember a brief mention, but I dread to wonder what Noonan’s thinks about that.”

               “Well, do _you_ like it?”

               Lena thought for a moment, and tapped the glass mug, “I’ve had better-“

               The blonde woman’s mouth fell open, “You hadn’t even had it until Christmas!”

               “Exactly, so like I said… I’ve had better.”

               “Yeah right,” Kara scoffed, “did I accidentally say it was world famous?” She leaned in, “I meant the best in the _galaxy_ , by far, and I would know.”

               Lena took another sip of hot chocolate. “It’s okay, I guess. It could do with some more marshmallows,” She teased, her signature smirk returning to her face.

               “The best in the universe, you say?” A triumphant smile passed Kara’s lips, “I agree.”

               They both giggled. “You’ve got a little bit-” Lena began.

               “Hm?”

               Lena gestured to her own face, “A bit of whipped cream, just on your-”

               “Oh,” Kara pursed her lips and her eyes flickered down, trying to see where it was. When they failed, her tongue traced her own mouth, and she lightly chuckled to herself, “Thanks, that always seems to happen.” Her eyes flickered up to meet Lena’s, “How are you?”

               Lena free hand moved to her chest as she spoke, clenching it into a fist and flexing her fingers.“I don’t know whether it’s because of the constant feeling of the unknown with Lex and waiting for him to do something or-” she ran her hand through the ends of her hair, “but there’s just this heavy feeling on my chest that’s constantly weighing me down.” Lena shrugged off her candour and rested her head on the top of her knees. “I’m sorry, it’s kind of silly and I really didn’t mean to wake you-”

               “You didn’t... if there’s something you need to talk about, I’m always here to listen when you’re ready, or if you just want someone to be with.” _You can cry Lena_ , Kara thought, _you can let out a gut-wrenching sob for the next hour if you need_ ; _I’m here and I’m not going anywhere_.

               Lena’s eyes glittered from her remaining unshed tears and the low light of the bedroom, and for a brief moment, it was as if she had heard Kara’s thoughts, “I know,” she whispered.

               The blonde woman’s hand twitched with the urge to run her thumb under Lena’s emerald eyes and wipe the tears that were still escaping, but she tightened her vice-like grip around the mug instead. “I’m not going anywhere,” Kara finally whispered, allowing her thoughts to enter the silence that had fallen between them.

               Lena took another sip of her drink; _I hope you really mean that_.

               They sat in silence again as they finished their hot chocolate and at some point, Lena had lain down whilst Kara rambled more so to herself than her friend, telling her of other places they could visit in Midvale and her favourite bakery and pizzeria that was an absolute _must_. Lena’s dark hair lay at the base of her shoulders when she turned and began adjusting the pillow beneath her head. Earlier when Eliza has examined her stitches, she said they were healing well, but couldn’t be removed for another few days, and the way Lena’s head rested on the pillow as she looked at her friend whilst she spoke accentuated the small wound even more. Lena eventually succumbed to sleep listening to Kara speak, finding comfort in the pleasant, melodic nature of her voice. Her last thought before she fell drifted off was that maybe her friend should narrate audiobooks or talk on the radio, the world only really heard her speak when she was Supergirl, constant power and passion in her voice, they didn’t have the privilege of hearing her speak as _Kara_ , with a different tone of affection when she spoke about things she loved personally, and if the world were to hear it, they would know how lucky they really were. The blonde asked a question, and when she received no response, she laughed to herself, realising she had been speaking to herself for almost twenty minutes. Kara gingerly rose from the bed and pulled the quilt closer to her friend’s chin, which seemed to have become a constant pattern of repetition most night, but she didn’t mind.

 

\---

 

               The three women were sat together in the living room, all of them reading whilst the sounds of the fireplace filled the room with small crackles as it burned the dry wood. Despite the silence that Lena would’ve usually dreaded and dreamed to fill was somewhat comforting as she wasn’t alone for once. Lena finished the last page of _The Great Gatsby_ and closed the short book with a satisfying sigh. The brunette spoke of her need to call Sam and was directed to the landline in the kitchen. She padded across the wooden floors and placed the book back where it belonged in the bookcase, reminding herself to ask Kara for a recommendation on what to read next.

               Lena waited whilst the phone dialled, the tone seeming to match her own pulse. Sam swiftly answered on the third ring, _“Hello?”_

               “Sam,” the relief in Lena’s voice was evident through the phone, “how are you? How’s Ruby and Alex?”

               _“We’re good! How are you most importantly?”_

               “I’m okay. Is everything going well at L-Corp?” Lena hadn’t expected to ask about the company. In truth, somewhere inside her she was grateful to be away from it but the words left her mouth before she realised.

               Sam rolled her eyes on the other side of the phone, finding the slight humour in the way that her friend would ask of her company even though she had only been away for a short time and how it managed to come up in conversation in less than a minute. _“L-Corp is great, trust me.”_ Her voice softened, _“Are you really okay?”_

               “Kind of… I’m getting there,” Lena watched the ripples mingle with the sunlight that filtered through the clouds and danced along the ocean as she leaned on the kitchen counter, “it’s so beautiful here.”

               Sam smiled, _“Alex was telling me all about Midvale! She talks about it like it’s her favourite place in the world.”_

               “She was? That’s exactly how Kara talks about it too!”

               _“Yeah-”_

               “Kara said she was speaking to Alex a while ago, when are you guys gonna visit?”

               _“I hope it’ll be pretty soon. We’ve both taken next weekend off so I think we can visit then, and it’s one of Ruby’s friends’ birthdays so she’s having a sleepover.”_

               “Great! I can rent a bed and breakfast for myself and you, and Alex and Kara can have their old room back.”

               _“No, that’s okay… I was just going to stay elsewhere with Alex.”_ Sam chewed on her lower lip, waiting for Lena’s response, and hoping she would be able to know what she was hinting at rather than having to fully spell it out for her friend.

               Lena paused whilst she thought, wondering whether she had heard Sam correctly, “Oh-”

               _“Oh?”_ Sam parroted, somewhat expecting that response from Lena.

               “I just didn’t know that you guys were so _close-”_

               _“I mean we are both adults and we’ve been spending a lot of time together recently, and I really,_ really _like her, and she gets along so well with Ruby.”_

               “Sam, that’s so great! I’m so happy for you guys!”

               Sam giggled on the other side of the phone, sounding like a lovesick teenager, and Lena couldn’t help but beam at her friend’s happiness. _“Okay, enough about me! How have things been with Kara? I remember you said you guys had fought-”_

               “Fine, it wasn’t anything major. We’re sharing a room and she _does_ snore though.”

               _“You do too, unless I’m remembering the nights I’d walk past your office when you were working too late wrong.”_ Sam had always been kind to Lena when she would fall asleep at work, which began before the two had really established a friendship, when their relationship was more professional. She’d usually fall asleep with her head on the computer keyboard, leading to a range of letters showing up on the monitor and the indentation of small squares on one side of her face, and a mug of cold coffee by her side; whether she had intended to have the coffee iced or hot was completely forgotten. When Sam would walk past and see the other woman asleep at her desk, she would usher an exhausted Lena, who had already abandoned her heels hours ago, to the couch, propping her head up on one of the cushions, and draping the blanket she kept in one of the office drawers over her. It was a lot for Sam to do when she started out at the company, but even before they became friends, Sam had an immense respect for the youngest Luthor, realising her steely resolve was rooted in something completely different compared to the rest of the family’s.

               “Hey!”

               Sam giggled, _“I’m gonna have to go, I’ll see you guys next weekend!”_

               “I can’t wait to see you and Alex; I’ll tell Eliza and Kara!” After saying a quick goodbye, and placing the phone back onto the receiver, Lena returned to the living room and hovered for a brief moment before quickly returning to where she was sitting. “Everything seems pretty great with them,” she said, breaking the silence and quiet turning of pages.

               “Are they visiting soon?” Eliza asked placing her book on the coffee table in front of her. She hoped they were, it would be good to have them around, even for a little while.

               “Yeah, but they aren’t going to stay here- I offered to stay in a hotel so Alex could have her room back but-” Lena shrugged nonchalantly.

               “They’re staying in the hotel together instead?” Eliza asked, a knowing smile forming on her lips.

               “Wait a second,” Kara put her book down and grinned, perching on the edge of her seat, “are they like _together_?”

               Lena nodded, “More or less.”

               “That’s amazing! Eliza did you hear that?” Kara beamed, turning to her mother.

               “I did, it’s fantastic!”

               “You don’t sound very surprised, Sam _and_ Alex!” Kara repeated as if Eliza hadn’t properly realised.

               “You’ve obviously never noticed the way they look at each other.” Eliza smiled.

               “Did you know?!” Lena asked, her face a mix of happiness and lingering surprise.

               Eliza shrugged, “Not _officially_ , but I do know that Sam and Ruby would make a wonderful addition to the family!”

                “They really would.” Kara smiled.

 

\---

 

               The next day Eliza had left earlier for work, so by the time Kara and Lena had made their way downstairs in the morning, she had already made breakfast with a small handwritten note telling them how long to heat the English muffins for and at what temperature. Whilst Kara set the food to heat in the oven, Lena made them both coffee. Once they had finished their breakfast, they had agreed amongst themselves to make dinner for Eliza, as Lena mentioned feeling rather guilty that she had always been making breakfast for the two of them. Kara had joked that she was more than happy to try something from one of the many recipe books that her mother kept, as long as the recipe and overall meal did not include any type of kale, which received a more than familiar disapproving eye-roll from Lena.

               “Any other plans for today?” Lena asked.

               “I think I finally owe you a tour of the house,” Kara said.

               Lena’s brow furrowed; it seemed a little too late for formalities. “I’ve been here over a week-”  


               “But you only know the living room and kitchen!” Kara pouted.

               “That’s fine with me-”

               “Come on, you can find out all of the family secrets _and_ I’ll tell you about the ghost that lives upstairs.” Lena’s eyes widened and Kara giggled as she stood and adjusted her glasses. The taller woman cleared her throat, “Here we have the kitchen,” she walked with her hands folded behind her back, as Lena reluctantly fell into step behind her, “and the living room is to the left.” The blonde’s voice lowered, as if she were telling a dire secret, “If you look close enough you may even see some family photos.”

               Lena met Kara’s expectant eyes with a sarcastic tone, and her lips curled into a smirk, “ _Wow_.”

               Kara continued showing Lena more rooms downstairs, including the study that didn’t look as if it had been used in years but like the rest of the home, was spotless and carried the familiar scent of citrus. She pointed out the family photos which hung on the wall in thin silver frames that offered a glimpse into the family’s timeline as they walked up the wooden staircase. They began with Eliza, Jeremiah and Alex, to photos with the appearance of Kara easily creating a family of four, and then suddenly without Jeremiah, and finally photos of the three women, and a few separate ones of the sisters together once they reached the landing. The blonde offered no explanation to the pictures, surmising Lena knew the foundations of her history, and any other discussion was still something she wasn’t entirely ready for.

               Upstairs Kara gestured to guest rooms and showed one of the rooms to Lena, which had a beautiful view of the coastline that they had been walking along daily. Whilst Lena’s attention was solely focused on admiring the view, Kara told her that in the room they were standing in there was a ghost which sometimes folded clothes and acted as more of an air conditioning unit than the usual vents. Despite Lena’s rather vocal scepticism, and her mind trained to believe in what could be legitimately proven, Kara was determined that her story was true, attempting to convince Lena with tales of sounds when she was home alone and the odd, unexplained slamming of doors, to which she received a scoff from her friend in return. Neither women mentioned how it would’ve been much easier for Lena to stay in one of those spare rooms, as they quietly enjoyed the company of another person instead, even in sleep, despite the snoring that it entailed. When Lena left the guest room she quickly peered over her shoulder, as if something might appear behind her or an item in the room might move or fly across the floor. Whilst she was preoccupied, the dark-haired woman didn’t notice the way Kara smirked and watched her from the corner of her eyes, hearing the small raise in the speed of her heartbeat, whether she would’ve admitted to believing Kara’s story or not.

               Kara led them back downstairs and outside onto the porch that faced the beach, a high tide causing waves to crash against the rock-strewn coastline. At this time of the day, the sun was still facing the back of the home, allowing the warmth to filter throughout and made the idea of sitting outside much more welcome. They sat on the wooden bench, sinking into the blue and white striped cushions on either side of the seat.

               The blonde woman’s hand met her own knees, “Well that concludes today’s tour! Tips are appreciated, but not mandatory.”

               “I was pretty sure it said on TripAdvisor that drinks _and_ snacks would be provided, so I think you’ll have to lose two stars for that alone, sorry.”

               Kara gave Lena a mock gasp, “I’ll have you know that our rival company actually places false information online.”

               “I don’t believe it. It must be because of the story of the ghost who’s more like Casper than a poltergeist!”

               Kara’s eyes widened, “Shh!” She looked around, as if Lena had told her the launch codes for the nuclear weapons, which she couldn’t entirely say for sure that her friend wasn’t actually aware of. “I heard that you shouldn’t say that aloud!”

               The emerald of the brunette’s eyes followed her friend’s worrisome gaze, “What? Casper?”

               “No! The other word-”

               Lena rolled her eyes, and playfully prodded Kara’s shoulder, “God, you are _such_ a dork.”

               “So, no tips?”

               Lena held her fist out to Kara, “Here,”

               The blonde woman looked at Lena’s hand and back to her friend, wondering if she was going to do some type of sleight of hand magic trick. “What?”

               “It’s a fist bump, right?” Lena withdrew her hand, and kept it tightly fixed to her body. “Did I- did I do it wrong?”

               Kara laughed heartily, “No, you did great,” she held her own fist out to Lena, and their fists collided.

               Lena sharply nodded, a triumphant smile on her lips, “There’s your tip.”

               “Thanks, who knew a tour guide’s work could be _this_ rewarding.” Kara replied; the sarcastic tone evident in her voice.

               Lena rolled her eyes again and stood to lean on the white wooden railing next to the telescope. The exposed metal legs of the tripod were beginning to rust, but the rest of the dark metal body of the telescope was almost immaculate, including the two separate viewfinders. Kara watched as Lena ran her thumb over the silver engraved badge, “K. Li?” She asked, turning back to her friend.

               “It belonged to my best friend, my first _real_ friend, Kenny.” Kara smiled, “He got along so well with me and Alex.”

               “It’s an impressive telescope.”

               “It certainly is,” Kara smiled again, and stood, moving to stand by the opposite side of the telescope. Her hand mindlessly tapped the railings, “He would’ve really liked you, you know,” Lena gave Kara a quizzical glance, the notion that a stranger _could_ like her despite her family history seemed ridiculous, “the love of space, and science, especially the fact that you were meant to be heavily involved in the space programme.”

               The corner of Lena’s mouth rose, “I would love to meet him if he’s still in Mid-”

               “He uh- he died a long a time ago.” Kara returned to the wooden bench and crossed her legs.

               “Oh Kara, I’m so sorry,” Lena moved to sit next to Kara and placed her arm around her shoulders, giving them a light squeeze.

               “It’s okay. Death and losing loved ones just never seems to get easier, does it?”

               Lena shook her head and moved a loose strand of Kara’s honey-like hair from her face, immediately withdrawing her hand when Kara’s head turned to face her. “No, I don’t think that it’s meant to. But as long as you remember them and keep them with you, they don’t really leave us, do they?”

               The words that left Lena’s mouth momentarily surprised Kara, the slight wisdom and truth that she wouldn’t have expected to hear, “You’re right-”

               Lena’s finger ran across the back of the wooden bench, “I sound like you.”

               “That’s exactly how I know you’re right,” Kara smiled.

               The brunette was unsure of what to say next but talking always seemed like her friend’s favourite thing to do and she led with that, hoping it would provide some sort of comfort. “So, tell me about Kenny.”

               Kara relaxed into the arm of the bench, and smiled, “There was no one who loved the stars more than him, other kids used to sneak out to go to parties, but he would sneak out to the beach or the woods just to get a better glimpse of the stars.” Her hands remained folded in her lap, not gesturing wildly as they normally did when she spoke, “He kept all of these incredible photos of constellations and planets on his computer, I’ve got a picture he took of Polaris on my wall.” Kara smiled as she stared off toward the water, “One night he took me stargazing, and it was nice to be able to have a proper friend, you know?” Lena nodded, knowing _exactly_ how that felt. “Kenny once called me the strongest girl he’d ever met,” Kara’s smile turned into a frown, and her brow furrowed as silent tears escaped her crystalline eyes.

               Lena’s hand hovered awkwardly whilst she decided on her next move. Seeing her best friend cry broke her heart and she finally rubbed small, calming circles onto Kara’s lower back and eventually pulled her into a hug. Lena wasn’t overwhelmingly averse to hugs, although they usually caught her off guard and typically came from Kara. In truth, voluntarily instigating hugs filled her with an immense feeling of unease, but she knew how much Kara loved them regardless. The brunette’s voice was close to a whisper, as the other woman’s tears started to wet the collar of her sweater, but Lena didn’t comment on it, “He sounds like an incredible person and he’s right about you.”

               Kara pulled away from the comforting hug and turned away from Lena as she wiped her eyes, “What is it with Midvale and constant emotions?”

               Lena shrugged, she didn’t exactly have an answer to Kara’s question, and maybe she didn’t really need one. The dark-haired woman couldn’t help but think there was so much more to the story, but she didn’t want to pry. Realistically, there was so much more to Kara’s life that she still didn’t know, from Krypton to Midvale, and to National City and everything else in between. A part of Lena hoped that one day she’d be able to know it all, “I guess it’s because Midvale’s home.”

               “It’s not all doom and gloom though,” Kara said in an attempt to lighten the mood, not that Lena minded Kara’s stories, she loved them. “When he died, it really brought me and Alex together, we did _not_ get along in the slightest to begin with.”

               “Really? I couldn’t imagine you two any other way.”

               “I’ll tell you about it tomorrow,” Kara lightly nudged Lena with her shoulder, “I think you’ve had enough of my boring stories for one day.”

               Lena shrugged, resting her head on her hand, “I could listen to you talk for hours.”

               “You should read my articles,” Kara replied smugly upon hearing the subtle praise from her best friend.

               “I do! But they’re hardly the same.”

               Kara smiled as she stood and began smoothing the creases out of her jeans, “We’re on dinner duty.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was kind of another 'filler chapter' to be honest but yeah idk what I've been doing for a whole month but it obviously isn't a lot although I've been planning/writing a WW2 fic to get out of my system so I'll probably post that next week!
> 
> LENA DESERVES THERAPY AND SHE WILL GET IT I SWEAR
> 
> Okay so I also swear by this hot chocolate recipe. My first gf used to bring me it to school in flasks every morning and it really is the nicest lmao
> 
> Come say hi on twitter if you like!! I'm @outislanders


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